He’s not attracted to me

My boyfriend recently told me that he’s not attracted to me. We’ve been together for nearly 3 years and our sex life has never been great. He recently admitted that he initially “settled” for me and then fell in love with me because of “who I am” but that he’s not that attracted to me. He’s not particularly happy with they way he looks either and all together he just doesn’t enjoy second with me. I feel so incredibly crushed. I don’t believe he told me any of this to hurt me but it is absolutely shattering to me. I really just don’t know what to do. He says he loves me and wants me in his life. I love him so much. I am typically a fairly confident person. But now every time I’m around him I just feel off.

I would not continue the relationship, OP.

He was honest, and while it was painful to hear, you needed to know where he stood. He doesn't really see you as a romantic partner but more like a best friend, from the sounds of it. I am guessing a big part of you already knew that, deep-down. Otherwise, I don't imagine this conversation would have happened. Did you bring this up, or did he?

For me, the romantic connection is important. Yes, libidos rise and fall, but he's telling you he was never that attracted to you. I personally could not stay in a relationship knowing my partner felt that way. I need a man who feels sexual and romantic chemistry with me. Without that, I would feel very frustrated and unfulfilled and always be wondering if there was someone out there who would be physically drawn to me.

Do you live together? He doesn't love you. You're his pal. Is there someone else? Very often the "I'm not feeling it, but I want you around" type thing means there is someone who he Is attracted to, so in fact he's using you.

Also these chronic put-downs is verbal abuse. You need to get out of this situation asap. Read up on emotional/verbal abuse. Get some counseling to help you extricate yourself from this jerk.

My boyfriend recently told me that he’s not attracted to me. We’ve been together for nearly 3 year. He says he loves me and wants me in his life. I love him so much. I am typically a fairly confident person. But now every time I’m around him I just feel off.

What a manipulative thing to lay in your lap. He wants out, and he wants you to pull the plug. I'd rather indulge him by kicking him to the curb than 'settle' for this.

Head high, and trust that you'll find someone who has the vision to appreciate your unique value.

My boyfriend recently told me that he’s not attracted to me. He recently admitted that he initially “settled” for me but that he’s not that attracted to me.

 

I really just don’t know what to do.

I would pack his bags for him and tell him adios ... and to please lose my name and number and to find someone who is attracted to, so that I can move on to find someone who IS attracted to me and doesn't settle for me. Show him you have enough self-respect to walk away from him, and make sure you never return.

I'd rather be single than live with a guy like that. Ugh.

He is cruel. Terrible things to tell you. Find someone who can appreciate all of you.

He is abusive and a jerk. I hope that you respect/love yourself enough to be done with this creep.

I am not sure in which context this was said but it's cruel, hurtful and unnecessary. What can he possibly want to achieve by this?

You deserve love and respect. This man doesn't love you.

A close friend of mine was told this by her husband a while back... Now she's happily divorced and has a wonderful new boyfriend who adores her and lets her know all the time.

It will be a healing process for you by you need to leave that relationship soon.

You are not alone

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry he said that to you, that was very insensitive.

Women need romance in a relationship to stay in love - and this kind of talk is anti-romantic and a serious mood-killer, and that's putting it mildly.