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Thread: Attachment issues?

  1. #1
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    Attachment issues?

    Hello everyone, I need some help on my relationship with someone I know online...
    i'm sorry for any grammatical errors in this post, english isnt my first language..

    I met this guy a month ago on a dating app, we're both college student of the same year, he seems friendly and cheerful when we first chat and talk on the phone. So we decided to meet each other. It was okay, and I come to a conclusion that he's not really someone I can get along with, and that's that. The problem starts right after that meeting. He texted me SO MANY TIMES, calling me, and questioning me if I didnt want to see him again whatsoever. I feel so confused like? what's his problem? we literally just met once and he thinks im his bestfriend. I confronted him, I said it feels uncomfortable that he demanded such relationship where he can call me anytime because we're practically still a stranger to each other. Then I found out that he has some mental issues, and he thinks I can help him. He said he got nobody but me on his side. That he has no friends, he thinks I'm the only person he could trust, he wants me to be his friend, and that he lost hope on making new friends and just wanted me to help him.

    I texted him a few days later, I said I can't help him with his problems, that he should seek professional and get back to his friends at school. But he accuses me of hating him. The point is, up until now, he still asks me 'what did I do that makes you hate me?', 'I feel like crying if you dont tell me how to fix this situation', and said 'if I can't get this right, I feel like my life's ruined, I want to die'

    I feel trapped in this situation, I don't want to engage with him anymore because I'm afraid it could make him worse, but I don't think it's right to completely ignore him either. I'm scared that I could lead this to something even worse like, him commiting suicide....

    Can anyone help me how to get myself out of this relationship? I can't keep up with him anymore and I don't want both of us ended up hurting each other...

  2. #2
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Wish him the best and block him? Not that you ever could or should be the one to, if he's legit going to kill himself over a woman he met once, you aren't going to be what saves him. It's really that simple.

    If you truly can't bring yourself to look after your own best interests in light of what's a much more ridiculous than manipulative bluff, I'd advise booking with your campus counseling services one time just so someone can help give you some personalized perspective.

    And while I probably wouldn't do it in your shoes as it might provoke him more than anything, you can alert campus authorities of an apparently very well documented suicide risk (the texts) if you are convinced he'd off himself.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Yes always delete, block and cut off anyone who harasses, bullies or stalks you.

  4. #4
    Member BreadStick's Avatar
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    My ex friend used to lie to me all the time, bad mouth me behind my back, abuse people close to her and then acusse them of being mean to her. She did this for years before I found out.

    When I told her to get lost, she threatened to kill herself because all her friends were starting to leave her due to her abusive nature. I didn't forgive her.

    It's been about 5 years. Guess what? She's alive and has new friends every year, still lies and does the same stuff.

    Don't ever let other people guilt trip ypu into anything by threatening suicide. That is very abusive. Block him, avoid him and don't let this toxicity in your life. It will only get worse if you do.

    You don't owe him anything.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    His comments are designed to make you somehow responsible and if you have a heart you will feel badly for this guy. From where I am sitting, I do too.

    Unfortunately you can't help him. Block him and move on. The best thing that can happen for him is these things keep happening.
    That being unstable and intense continues to scare people away. At some point he may become uncomfortable and lonely enough, he'll seek the help he needs.

    In the meantime he is no doubt causing you some discomfort or distress. You don't even really know this guy and don't permit him to dump his toxic feelings on you.

    Block and delete and don't engage him.
    Going forward remember there a lot of people just like him online that can't otherwise function in a real life relationship so they try to snare someone electronically.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You cant help him but you can block and delete him which is what you need to do.

  8. #7
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    Why haven't you blocked this guy? You owe him nothing, and he is using this as a tactic to keep you around.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BreadStick
    My ex friend used to lie to me all the time, bad mouth me behind my back, abuse people close to her and then acusse them of being mean to her. She did this for years before I found out.

    When I told her to get lost, she threatened to kill herself because all her friends were starting to leave her due to her abusive nature. I didn't forgive her.

    It's been about 5 years. Guess what? She's alive and has new friends every year, still lies and does the same stuff.

    Don't ever let other people guilt trip ypu into anything by threatening suicide. That is very abusive. Block him, avoid him and don't let this toxicity in your life. It will only get worse if you do.

    You don't owe him anything.
    I had an abusive ex who used to threaten to kill himself every time I caught a lie and was going to break up with him. One day I had enough, broke up and never looked back. He sent me countless messages saying he had taken pills to end his life. I told him I was going to call an ambulance to his place. Suddenly after all he wasn't at home and feeling better and begged me not to call the ambulance and all that. I blocked and deleted, he still found ways to contact me and make it seem like he was going to kill himself because of me abandoning him. Guess what he never did and is pretty much alive. And even if he did, it was his choice and his mental health, not the fact that I broke up with him for being abusive and a liar.


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