She Doesn’t give compliments!

So, I’ve been with my new girlfriend for the best part of six months and not once and I mean once has she ever given me a compliment about anything. I’m always giving her compliment even if it’s just how beautiful she looks. I’m only complaining because I know she wasn’t like this with a lad she’s known for years, she’s let me read some of their messages from last year and it was all her giving him compliments eg. How fit he was or how hot he looked when he was going on a night out. Is it just me being weird or what?!? She doesn’t even say she misses me when we arnt together but she was always saying she missed him and wanted to see him. I’m confused. Anybody help??

I don’t think this is the right relationship for you. We all have different love languages and needs that need to be fufilled.

Comparing yourself to another guy is not helping your insecurities so I would stop looking at their past messages and asking about him.

If you feel this relationship is not fulfilling where you are validated enough I suggest finding someone whose compatible with your needs.

We all need someone to give us a boost and think the world of us.

Why would you want what they had between each other stuck in your head like a movie? It's okay to ask, in general, what a person's dating history has been just to get an idea if a person is capable of a long term relationship if that's what your goal is, or to make sure the reason wasn't as bad as cheating on her part to gauge her ethics. Don't ever get into the details beyond that, however, and don't bring the subject up again. There's a reason the person is in the past and you need to concentrate on the present and future with a partner.

Have you ever asked her why she fails to compliment you and fails to say she misses you? Why not ask to get some insight? Tell her those sweet words are important to you, and if she cares she will want to please you and make sure you're happy in the relationship. If she doesn't care, she will ignore the request, or will do it in a lame way that's without emotion, and then you should walk away.

The purpose of dating is to find out who is right for you and who isn't. If you find yourself regularly upset and frustrated and communication hasn't fixed anything, admit you're not compatible and move on.

I think you should move on. This does not sound good.

Why would you want what they had between each other stuck in your head like a movie? It's okay to ask, in general, what a person's dating history has been just to get an idea if a person is capable of a long term relationship if that's what your goal is, or to make sure the reason wasn't as bad as cheating on her part to gauge her ethics. Don't ever get into the details beyond that, however, and don't bring the subject up again. There's a reason the person is in the past and you need to concentrate on the present and future with a partner.

 

Have you ever asked her why she fails to compliment you and fails to say she misses you? Why not ask to get some insight? Tell her those sweet words are important to you, and if she cares she will want to please you and make sure you're happy in the relationship. If she doesn't care, she will ignore the request, or will do it in a lame way that's without emotion, and then you should walk away.

 

The purpose of dating is to find out who is right for you and who isn't. If you find yourself regularly upset and frustrated and communication hasn't fixed anything, admit you're not compatible and move on.

I don't think one should have to ask. It's kinda like asking someone to say they are sorry, but it is not sincere if you have to ask for it. It should come naturally.

Thanks everyone for your comments. Makes me feel better knowing I’m not being weird as men don’t usually take any notice but from my last relaltionships I’ve always had compliments and this one is completely different.

I’ll give you another scenario from a few weeks back.

She took half day off from work and said to me she’s not gone in and working from home so I said oh I’ll come round then and we can have a bit of fun while nobody is in (her dad lives with her, she’s 31) she said no to that idea but I read not even a year ago that she was on half day and she said to this lad come round while nobody is in and use and abuse me. I honestly felt like crap after reading just that bit alone because here she is telling me no and last year she was begging him to come to hers. I’m seriously thinking about finishing it with her because it’s all one sided anyway in the first instance and says she has walls up but she doesn’t have walls up where he’s concerned and all I can think about is, is she’s saying to herself “he’s not Rob (the guys name” and that’s why I’m not getting any feedback. I’m certainly not used to this, I was with my ex for 11 years and finished with her (she’s was cheating on me) end of August last year and we have eachother compliments all the time. Do any of you think I should test her or just lay it out and ask why don’t you give me compliments like one of you said?

It''s not just about the compliments. The relationship sounds one-sided, and that she simply isn't into you. I follow people's actions, and hers show that she is not invested. Unfortunately, you sound like you are a rebound.

It is very one sided like I’ve mentioned. She’s says she wouldn’t be with me if she wasn’t attracted to me but she gives me nothing to prove she is attracted to me other than an occasional kiss every now and again.

I don't understand why you stick around?

I don’t understand why either. Maybe in the back of my mind I’m thinking she will change as it’s still only early days and she might be like she was with him one day 🤔

I think it's odd that you're constantly comparing yourself to her ex. It's unattractive. She's probably picking up on it and thinks you're off your head/not sure whether to dump you too (the same that you're not sure about her). If you like her a lot, start being more positive about your time together. You have low self-esteem but it seems to be going around in circles and self-fulfilling. Once you clear your head and the dust settles and if you still find that she's being shady and unappreciative of you or takes you forgranted, stop seeing her. In the meantime, please try to stay neutral about her ex and her past. You're too fixated on it right now.

Why in The world would you be with anyone who needs to change, if anything she would treated you better in the beginning. People do not change.

You are a rebound. You need to find your self respect and be done with this.

How is your relationship overall? Why is she showing you this nonsense? Have you asked her? This isn't about compliments it's about strange boundaries and weird communication as well as her crush on whoever this is. Why is she treating you like a male-girlfriend?

I know she wasn’t like this with a lad she’s known for years, she’s let me read some of their messages She doesn’t even say she misses me when we arnt together

She finds him more attractive than she does you. Have you always been complimentary to women you’ve been in relationships with?

Compliments that are rare are worth more.

Great point. Agree, too much flattery is often viewed as insincere and/or obsequious.

Compliments that are rare are worth more.

I think the same as you. If anything she should treat me a lot better than she was with him. I’m actually here and he lives 50+miles away. I’m going to give it another few weeks and see how things pan out. To be fair, we’ve just been for a morning walk and before she drove off she did say excuse me where’s my kiss which was a test as I just walked away and said I’ll see you later.

The relationship overall is ok. The sex could be more often, but that’s just life.

Past relationship was 11 years and we always complimented eachother and we knew we meant it when we said it to eachother.

She was never actually with this guy because he has an on off girlfriend and kids so it was all just a pipe dream for her.

I’m defiantly going to hold back on any type of compliment/flattery in the near future as I don’t fancy wasting my time saying words that I mean and get nothing back.

Are you over this past relationship? You seem to want a clone of it.

Past relationship was 11 years and we always complimented eachother and we knew we meant it when we said it to eachother.

It sounds like one or both of you might be on the rebound and not fully in love with the other. And it will not get better, it can only get worse, sorry.

When did your last relationships end? How long were those relationships with your exes?

First off you need to stop reading the old messages between her and her old BF. That is old news and she is with you now. Do you want your relationship to be a carbon copy of her old relationship? Next, is a relationship all about complimenting one another all the time? I don't think so. You should already know she is happy with you because she is with you. I am am sorry but it sounds like you are a bit insecure. I understand people like compliments once in awhile, but they should never be expected. Like someone else stated I think this sort of relationship isn't for you. I think you are looking for someone who will shower you with compliments and this girl just doesn't seem like she is up for that.

Some people are like that but if it really bothers you, then tell her that receiving compliments once in a while would be appreciated. If she continues to never compliment you, then you decide if you see a long term relationship with her or not.

I've known some people who never habitually compliment. Sometimes silence is the sincerest form of flattery. Other times, you accept certain people the way they are and focus on what you admire about them. If the lack of compliments really bother you, then perhaps she isn't for you after all.