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What can I do to build a better relationship with her again?


gmaq

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I unintentionally insulted a girl I liked.

She told me how she struggled with school in the past.

I tried to care for her and said "It must be difficult for you".

She misinterpreted my meaning, got angry and thought I looked down on her intelligence. I know she got angry because she said she was smarter than me.

 

I apologized to her 6 weeks after the insult

I said "I want to tell you I am very sorry for what I have said to you on Xth of December and for making you unhappy."

She said "What did you say that made me unhappy? I couldn't remember."

Considering the situation I didn't remind her what I said exactly in December that insulted her and what happened that day.

 

The next week I apologized to her again but again didn't remind her what happened on the day of the insult and what exactly I said.

She said "I don't know what you said that made me unhappy. What did you say?"

I said "I am worried I may have said something that offended you. Was there anything I ever said from December till now that may have made you unhappy?"

She said "No. I don't remember what you said. Don't scare me. Otherwise I won't talk to you again."

So I want her to know I want to take full responsibility for my mistake and said "I am worried I may have said something that made you unhappy. If I did, I want to say I am extremely sorry."

 

She still talks to me but is less friendly and sometimes say things a little mean to me. She was more talkative before the accidental insult.

Because of the little mean things she says to me, I don't know if she actually still remembers and is still angry with me.

There are moments I feel maybe I should make another apology to her. But this time remind her "exactly" what I said on the day of the insult that made her angry and what "exactly" happened that day.

But she already told me if I apologize again she will be scared and probably won't talk to me again.

 

(1) What can I do to make things return to the things they were before the accidental insult?

 

(2) What can I do to build a better relationship with her again?

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Unfortunately she's always been "a little mean". Stop apologizing, she doesn't even remember her own snit/mood about it. Reflect if you want to be around someone this "mean" and flighty.

She still talks to me but is less friendly and sometimes say things a little mean to me.

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