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Broke up with my girlfriend and told alot of awful stuff that harmed the relatio


Lol233

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I broke up from my girlfriend of 9 months 3 weeks ago because of fears i had toward the future and few other issues where my family brainwashed me about her being too riligious for our family (atheists). I realised i did a huge mistake because i do really love her, over this period of time since the breakup i tried to fix it and everytime it got worse for i told everytime more stuff that harmed the trust of her in me, like me being thinking of other girls or thinking to having feelings for an old friend of mine, things i told her just to drop that stone out of my heart. She wanted to give me another chance (it happend about 5 times that we tried to talk and fix it since the breakup) and everytime at the moment she tells me its gonna be a hard work to fix and heal all the damage that has been done i start to hesitate. Before we started dating i dated alot with different girls but every time after 1 date or 2 i cuted it off because everytime i felt that commitment fear, with her it was different i just felt we had a click together and everything was just natural and felt right. Its my first serious relationship (pervious was few years ago when i was 17 and its been for 3 months, wasnt as close and serious as this, now im 25) and i dont really want to lose her, but also i think i have a serious commitment issues and low self esteem problems when i just lose faith and feel worthless. 2 days ago i met her and told her i wanted to fix it and that in 100% sure in my decision but she answered that the chances i wll change my mind again is too high and just seemed faithless about this. I just feel like a serious idiot about all of that situation.. what happend that one day i just wokeup and blew all what we had to pieces, i feel awful for hurting her like that and at the same time miss her as hell. What should i do and what the hell do i do with those commitment issues i have???

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If you realize where you went wrong, take some time to let things be and stop struggling. You've acknowledged doing a lot of damage but you've also learned from it. Work on your filter. There's nothing wrong with you but you do sound sheltered and not so street smart. You'll be weaned off all of this as you grow older. Don't worry so much about thinking that you have commitment issues or other issues. You're taking things a bit too hard and creating problems when there aren't any. You are NOT expected to be God's gift to women as a teenager. Chill out.

 

Remember that if you lose someone, it's for a reason. You are also tasked with the lesson of learning how to deal effectively with loss. Pick yourself up off the ground and keep learning. This is not the end of the world. You'll meet other women in your lifetime. Forgive yourself and let her go so she can be happy too.

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