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Thread: Hurting

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Slapnuts
    I am a wildlife photographer. Colombia is a great place to visit and have a relaxing time. Why not date a local and move there?
    Sure, go for it.

    But I think many of the women you will encounter on these international dating sites are going to be looking to leave the country. They are not likely to be as interested in having you relocate there, unless you come with a decent amount of money.

  2. #12
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    "she started to pressure me about when I would move so she could come here. "

    Seems like she thought you were going to bring her to the US. Not that she wanted to stay in Colombia.

  3. #13
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Slapnuts
    I told her why should I continue this relationship ? I told her I should find a more patient women . someone who inspires me someone who speaks better English who does not imply i create a less important argument. I really unloaded on her. But I did not mean what I said. I was angry.
    If someone spoke to me like that when he's angry I would dump them too. Being angry doesn't give you the right to "really unload" on her. Control your anger.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    There is a saying that goes "Wherever you go, there you are." In other words, you can't escape the things that make it difficult for you to find compatible women locally by going to another country... and in your case another continent... to try and find love. There is something within you that is blocking you from meeting the woman of your dreams where you live now... that will block you from having a successful relationship no matter where you go unless you find a way to deal with it.

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  6. #15
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    I think Iím better experienced than the most to give advice on this. I have a friend who married a Brazilian woman a few years ago and Iíve been in a relationship with a Russian woman for over two years.

    First, before more people give you an ear bashing regarding the common stereotype, most believe (Iíll admit I did too) ...... foreign women from countries less prosperous than yours are gold digging green card scammers and will leave you once they have citizenship.

    Sadly this stereotype is based on a small handful of regurgitated stories, staged shows like 90 day fiancť and the fact that men who have early divorce donít realise it was not due to her being a scammer, but not being compatible together.

    The stats disapprove the myth the truth is actually the opposite. International marriages are far more successful than local ones, In fact in every country that publicise their stats they are well below local divorce rates.

    The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) reports that ďÖmarriages arranged through [mail order bride] services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.Ē The USCIS also reports that ďÖ mail-order bride and e-mail correspondence services result in 4,000 to 6,000 marriages between U.S. men and foreign brides each year.Ē

    (I donít like the term mail order bride. International dating is now exactly the same as local online dating)

    So now to your problems..... Iíve been on many dates locally and if Iím honestly, one in 10 to 15 we have found a great connection together and have entered a relationship. Iíve been in 9 relationships of varying lengths since my divorce. Only 2 of these women I would consider marrying.

    International dating is no different and as other people have said, women are the same everywhere. There might be cultural differences, but like all humans, everyone has different personalities. Unless you are really lucky, donít expect to find the right woman for you straight away.

    One disadvantage of international dating, is itís fast paced and really you donít spend the same amount of quality time together as with dating a local woman, before deciding to marry. Often youíve committed a lot of money travelling and vast amounts of time communicating and you over look red flags or incompatibility.

    In my situation, I wasnít looking for a foreign woman. We met online as friends and she agreed to teach me German (sheís a business woman and travels there regularly from Russia). Over time one thing led to another and we developed feelings for each other.

    Iíve been very fortunate that we have a great connection and have never had one argument or even a minor disagreement, but we also donít have the financial pressure you obviously do. I earn a good wage and hers is exceptional by Russian standards. She has the same quality of life as I do.

    I would call this a learning experience and keep looking. Try to find someone who is close to your age (most of the 20% who divorce have large age gaps). Take your time and youíll find that perfect woman, who has a consistent personality.

    Ohh and lastly never let anyone
    stop you finding your happiness, by using the common stereotype against you. You now have the stats, with smart choices statistical you will be married far longer than them.
    Last edited by Matt0050; 03-15-2019 at 07:43 PM.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Slapnuts
    I told her why should I continue this relationship ? I told her I should find a more patient women . someone who inspires me someone who speaks better English who does not imply i create a less important argument. I really unloaded on her. But I did not mean what I said. I was angry.
    No wonder she reacted as she did! You were rude and mean to her. I also think she was looking for a meal ticket to marry an American and move to the US. Buddy, you dodged a bullet only you dont see that.

    Find a local woman. Dont give me that crap that US women are no good, of course they are! You need a woman you can spend time with in person, not video chatting online!

  8. #17
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    Now a post I can agree with. Here is my local women responce
    I was on various sites for almost 3 years
    I am Good looking and should have no problem metting good looking women right? Out of litterly thousands of women i tried to contact guess how many returned a message ? One. I tried everything. Advice from friends other women my luck was so bad I thought i was cursed. I am picky. Most women my age has kids and there body is shot. So I've tried it all. I like Colombia because of the wildlife. That being said i was no scammed it was love. She didn't like my texting attitude so she's gone. Metting a girl in 2 weeks same country 35 with no designs on moving to America. I will get this right

  9. #18
    Bronze Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I agree with Nickel. You were scammed! Don't do this again.. try to avoid getting yourself in this type of situation. She sold you all the words you wanted to hear: you're her last love, last chance, best boyfriend. These are all trigger phases to keep you hooked and blinded and you fell for all of it hook, line and sinker.

    You're too vulnerable to be dating. Work on yourself and try and do some soul searching before dating again.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Before you jump on a plane or send more money, do some research :[Register to see the link]

  11. #20
    Silver Member dundermiflin's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Slapnuts
    Now a post I can agree with. Here is my local women responce
    I was on various sites for almost 3 years
    I am Good looking and should have no problem metting good looking women right? Out of litterly thousands of women i tried to contact guess how many returned a message ? One. I tried everything. Advice from friends other women my luck was so bad I thought i was cursed. I am picky. Most women my age has kids and there body is shot. So I've tried it all. I like Colombia because of the wildlife. That being said i was no scammed it was love. She didn't like my texting attitude so she's gone. Metting a girl in 2 weeks same country 35 with no designs on moving to America. I will get this right
    I think this is why you only got one response; you're looking for girls that are around 35 but you're 53. When I was 35 and hit on by someone over 50, it was not attractive to me. In fact I don't think it's any different than you being turned off by women whose bodies "are shot" because they had kids. I think you're probably hitting on 9s or 10s that are significantly younger than you are.
    Your grammar and spelling aren't great either. Maybe you did a better job with your profile and that's just how you post. Also I agree with the others that the way you talked to your girlfriend when you were angry was a red flag and it's no wonder she was scared away. Are you really ready to meet another girl in 2 weeks, you're over the other girl already?

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