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Thread: i need advice about my relationship.

  1. #1

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    i need advice about my relationship.

    For going on 6 years now, ive been engaged to a woman who has 3 kids. at first it was great until when she got her own place she started treating me like crap. one time her and her kids needed milk and juice, so at 1 in the morning i took them to her. she had her friends over, and she told me to leave them at the door and i could hear her and her friends making fun of me. she would always call me stupid. but i loved her, so i proposed to her and she said yes. i helped her raise her 3 kids unselfishly. we bonded, her youngest was 1 at the time, now today shes 6. i watched her grew, speak, walk and changed the dirty diapers lol. we bcame a family. but my girlfriend always called me names, always say im not a man. in our relationship i want to say shes kicked me out at least 25 times. there were times where i would sleep outside. i always stood by her side no matter what. when her family turned their backs on her, i still stood by her side. when she was in jail, i would always bail her out. when she went to jail for 3 weeks. i was the only one to put money on her books. i was the only one to visit her. i helped her and stood by her. she will always accuse me. i have never ever cheated on her, i want to make that clear. i love her and our little family. but she always accuses me. she can have a Facebook but i cant. her phone goes off from a facebook message at 3 am, its okay but if my brother texts me at 3 am, she accuses me. a car can pull up for the neighbor's across the straight, and right away its a girl for me she will say. if a strange number calls me that i dont know, its a girl for me. or if a strange number calls her that she doesnt know, its still a girl for me. she treats me like a criminal, when we went to go open up our own banking accounts, she tells the banker, theres no way he can get into it right? its okay for guys to talk to her at work and hit on her, but when i told her about my day at work that my boss had me train a new worker and it was a female, she got mad and accuse me. shes always talking down to me and getting angrey with me. she never admits when shes wrong, so to spare an argument, i will say shes right and blame it on me. when shes angry she will say that im not a man, and that shes with a man she cant depend on. when we have sex she will tell me that shes been with guys who can go longer. (that really hurts me.) so the past saturday she calls me at work says her dad cant pick her up from work. so she said that her sister is calling Uber for her. so when she gets home, she calls me, yelling at me how shes with a man she cant depend on, that i dont care and she hung up on me. so i text her back so angry and upset i said F U and find someone else then. so she texts me saying to get my stuff its over because she cant believe i said F her. and then when i leave she talking all this crap to me and calling me a , so i flipped her off and left crying. everytime she throws me out im the one crying to come back. so she calls me a couple days ago saying she did nothing wrong and its all me. i cried and said i love her and please dont take me away from the kids and she says, the kids are fine. im hurting, i feel used, taken advantage of, i feel so unappreciated. i told her please lets work things out, my family is moving in a week, ill have no choice but to go with them because ill be homeless. i will never be able to see u or the girls ever again. she said, if you move then you move. i felt so bad i just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. she wont talk to me or listen to what i have to say. to her im wrong, plan and simple. please tell me what to do. im hurting.

  2. #2
    Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Are you for real? Assuming that this isn't a trolling post, you have a lot more serious problems than this woman.

    Did you give her an engagement ring? Did you set a date? How old are you and why are you still living with your parents?

  3. #3

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    I dont live with my parents, when i stated about my family leaving is because i dont know anywhere to stay. she threw me out. so when my family leaves i have nowhere to stay. my girlfriend and i live together with her kids. thats why i says she keepa kicking me out. yes i gave her a ring. and the wedding was still being planned. it got delayed because my father and her mother past away 2 months apart. im 29 and shes 33.
    Last edited by LOTR12; 03-15-2019 at 03:50 PM. Reason: to make it clear

  4. #4
    Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I'm confused. When she first got her own place, you didn't go to live with her? If not, where had you been living? If you were living with her, why did you have to take milk to her and leave them at the door?

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  6. #5

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    no, when she got her place, that was during the time when we were dating. i was living on my own. when i proposed to her and we got engaged, we left both of our places for 3 bedroom apartment.

  7. #6
    Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    What's stopping you from giving another FU and finding your own place? Maybe she can leave you some milk outside your door this time? Reciprocal neighbourly gesture?

    Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and don't take this set back so seriously. This is, by the way, not your family and those kids are not your kids. I understand the gray area but it might help if you're a bit more realistic about the facts. Start putting your life back together and stop hanging around women who mistreat you this way.

  8. #7
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    I don't understand why you would be with someone that has treated you this way, much less propose?

    She does not love or respect you-never has- but you do not love or respect yourself. This is a sick and abusive relationship and you need to understand why YOU have allowed anyone to treat you like this.

    Get some therapy and be done with this woman.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Please get the professional therapy you need to get you past your codependency and lack of self esteem and poor boundaries. Google "White knight Syndrome" and see if any of what you read reminds you of yourself and the way you have NOT looked after your own emotional self. Most people would not go back to someone who treated them in the abusive way this woman treated you. She is a user and a sorry piece of work. Who cares for her children when she is in jail. Good grief!

    I can't believe you even spoke to her again after you brought her food staples for her children and she instructed you to leave them at the door, didn't invite you in and then laughed at you with her friends. Get the help you need to guide you into learning to love yourself enough to chuck horrible women like her.

    i feel used, taken advantage of, i feel so unappreciated.
    Then why in the name in all that is good did you keep giving and giving and giving. You can't buy someone's love and you shouldn't keep trying when someone is clearly unappreciative.


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