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How do I forgive myself?


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It's been four months now that my boyfriend of almost 4 years left me for someone else and I feel so sad and guilty and I keep crying everyday that I was the one that made him leave. He has his faults too though but he loves me and I can't just believe that he moved on just immediately after breaking up with me. We both agreed not to have sex until marriage but on so many occasions, he kept doing all the stuffs that could lead to sex and I was not comfortable with it so we fought about this on so many occasions. Now I feel guilty that I couldn't love him more and didn't give in to his request. He was my first love and it feels like I will never love again ,It feels like there is no one else that will love me as much as he did. I have begged him several times but he blocked off my contact and deleted me even on social media. I am so sad and find it hard to concentrate and I have my final exam in two weeks time.

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We both agreed not to have sex until marriage but on so many occasions, he kept doing all the stuffs that could lead to sex and I was not comfortable with it so we fought about this on so many occasions.

 

- what do you mean? You would not kiss and hug?

 

Sorry about the breakup.

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Sorry to hear this. You did nothing wrong and din't "make him leave". You were fighting, incompatible and he did not have the same boundaries values or goals as you have. He was simply not on board with an asexual relationship, no matter what you agreed on at first.

 

Never get coerced into sex if it's not what you want. Learn to identify manipulation and incompatibilities early on. Leave him alone. You should delete and block him from all social media and messaging apps. Ask your parents to take you to a therapist to help you deal with things and refocus on what is important.

he moved on just immediately after breaking up with me. We both agreed not to have sex until marriage but on so many occasions, he kept doing all the stuffs that could lead to sex and I was not comfortable with it so we fought about this on so many occasions. I have begged him several times but he blocked off my contact and deleted me even on social media.
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I second Wiseman2 comment.

Sorry to hear that you are going through a breakup.

Not everyone is going to match your morals. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone bully you otherwise.

 

Keep your head up...you sound on the younger end of the dating world....will find another boy who will respect your decisions.

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Wait.

 

Are you A sexual or are you waiting for marriage?

 

If it’s the first one it’s was an incompatibility and it would have only been a matter of time until someone broke so don’t beat yourself up

 

If it’s the second one, be proud. You stuck to your beliefs and boundaries, he failed you if agreed upon, not the other way around.

 

One day at a time. I understand that overwhelming feeling of regret, worst feeling in the world but this wasn’t all on you. Forgive yourself.

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