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Thread: What should I respond?

  1. #1
    Silver Member
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    What should I respond?

    I matched with someone online and we started chatting. I found her attractive and we also seemed to have some things in common. I was really excited about her!

    After some messages I asked her for coffee and she agreed and also gave me her number. But on the day of the date she texted me and said she feels a bit under the weather and also had to work. She offered me two choices: either meet next weekend or meet a bit earlier today. Since she said she wasn't feeling too good I said we can meet next weekend when she feels better and she agreed. Later during the week we exchanged couple of texts.. I was looking forward to the weekend but today she sent me a text saying she met someone a few weeks ago and realized she wanted to see where it goes a little before she dates other people in parallel. She also said she might ping me sometime in the future if this doesn't work out and if I'm still interested we could meet then.

    I feel so upset and don't know what to respond.. Would you guys be ok with this? being rejected for someone else but being told they might reach out in the future if it doesn't work out with the person they rejected you for?

    I wish we had met at least once.. but she didn't even give me a chance..

  2. #2
    Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    Sorry she treated you like this... you should summon all your dignity and wish her all the best. Move on. Next

  3. #3
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    Thanks. What should I do about this -> "She also said she might ping me sometime in the future if this doesn't work out and if I'm still interested we could meet then"?

  4. #4
    Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    Some guys wouldn't mind saying "oh yeah, ping me later" but they wouldn't take her seriously anymore... It sounds like you mind being left as a second choice as I would ...
    So what I'd do, like I said before is to summon all my dignity and say thank you, but no . Something along the lines of:

    Thank you for being honest, however, I am moving on as well.

    I wish you all the best,

    BLOCK

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  6. #5
    Bronze Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I wouldn't even answer. Just block her. This is dating these days so try not to get so worked up about it. As many people as there are out there who do this, there are just as many who DON'T. You happened on a type of person. There are others out there. Don't lose heart and don't even give this a second thought. Just block and see how it goes with your next match.

  7. #6
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    You haven't even met her, no need to be upset. At least she's honest, I think it's best to leave that behind and if she messages in the future, I wouldn't respond.

  8. #7
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    Wish her good luck and move on.

    If you haven’t dated much lately “welcome to modern dating” .... women have far more choices than men, especially online. I once dated a girl who received over 1000 messages in one month.... I won her attention with Van Halens “why can’t this be love” translated to Shakespearean verse 😁

    You need to expect that when you first start going on dates and aren’t exclusive, she’s probably talking to a handful of men and going on dates with them also.

    Be prepared to be ghosted, stalked, have dates cancelled, hear crazy excuses, women wanting casual relationships, so they can keep options open and a many other seeming insulting situations, but all of this is a good life experience and finding that one amazing woman makes it all worthwhile 😊

  9. #8
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    I told her "Thanks for being honest. I wish you all the best!"

    I have to say I feel very frustrated.. I get responses very very rarely in online dating.. and when that happened and I managed to get her number and a first date she bails out!

    I don't understand why she even started things with me only to end things without even meeting me once.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    You never knew this person. You two shared exactly nothing, owed each other nothing. She was pixels that you projected a little story onto—a story that turned out to be in your imagination. Just a little ding of modern dating. It'll happen again—and, who knows, you may find yourself in her shoes some day.

    She was straight with you—I'd appreciate that. All those women you're swiping through and matching with and chatting with? They're not on there explicitly to meet you. They're just people, out in the world, looking to connect. And in the week between your chat and your postponed coffee some dude got under her skin a bit. Happens. She could have lied, ghosted, made some white lie excuse, gone out with you while thinking about him.

    She opted to be honest.

    Me, I'd dig that. I'd either wish her well or wouldn't respond. Shrug emoji. Keep swiping emoji. Learn to spend approximately 8 seconds thinking about these moments and you'll have a blast out there.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This type of thing warrants a delete and move on. She didn't even bother meeting you and now tells you 'hey if this one turns out to be a dud maybe I'll contact you'?. You could be dating other more reliable women rather than entertaining this type of drivel from her.
    Originally Posted by SilverFactory
    Thanks. What should I do about this -> "She also said she might ping me sometime in the future if this doesn't work out and if I'm still interested we could meet then"?

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