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Thread: Is this cheating or should I get over it?

  1. #1

    Is this cheating or should I get over it?

    So my boyfriend and I started hooking up around New Years and have been in an exclusive relationship for two months. My problem is... his last girlfriend has two kids that he parented during the relationship. He proposed to her and she flat told him no and left him for his best friend. Fast forward 6 months we are together and they talk every day via messages and Snapchat. He claims they only talk about the kids but they literally talk almost all day every day. Iíve told him that it bothers me and I feel like Iím his rebound and just his second choice since she doesnít want him (so she claims) but heís not willing to cut off communication ďbecause of the kids.Ē Am I overreacting about it and need to just accept the fact that they will remain friends? Or are his actions disrespectful to me in a way that I should leave the situation?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    So these aren't even his kids? How old are they and how often do they talk?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How long after they broke up did you get together? How long were they together? Unfortunately, you can't stop them from talking, but you can take note of this and decide if you want to be a third wheel in their relationship and his attempts to get her back.
    Originally Posted by Kdawg1993
    have been in an exclusive relationship for two months.
    they talk every day via messages and Snapchat. He claims they only talk about the kids but they literally talk almost all day every day.

  4. #4
    No neither of them are his. One is 16 and the other is 2. I told him I didnít mind him talking to the kids as the 16 year old has his own phone and they do occasionally talk. He talks to his ex every day and he sees the 2 year old maybe twice a month

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  6. #5
    I believe they broke up around October and had dated for a year but kind of grew up together.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Is the biological father of the children in the picture? If they just dated for a year, it's not enough to parent children so this is not a co-parenting situation. I'd proceed with caution as if this woman left him not long ago for his best friend, he might have too much baggage for a relationship with you or you can indeed be his rebound.

  8. #7
    No the 16 year olds dad is in prison and the 2 year old technically is his exes niece that sheís raising because the babies parents are on drugs and in and out of prison.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    There is no reason for them to be talking everyday, in my opinion.

    First of all, these aren't his kids, so there is no need to talk about custody or child payments or when he is going to pick them up, etc.

    Secondly, they didn't date long enough for him to become that close to the kids. The 16 year old wouldn't see him as a parent with that short of time. The 2 year old might but even then, no need to be talking to the mother like that.

    The most he would need to talk to her would be if they mutually decided that he could see the kids once in a while (on his own and without her around).

    But seeing as they are talking daily, this isn't about the kids. They are using that as an excuse and are obviously not over one another.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    This sounds like a you have gotten yourself into a mess. Just describing his ex's situation makes me wonder why he would want to stay connected to that situation at all.

    They dated a year so how invested can he be?

    I think you are right that he isn't over her and is using the kids as a reason to stay close to her hoping she will change her mind.

    I am pretty sure you know what you need to do but just need others to let you know it is okay to walk from this relationship, if you can even call it that since he has never been all in with you.

    I am confident you can do better, don't you agree?

    Lost

  11. #10
    Thatís how I feel about it. I feel like itís excessive communication about kids he has no parental commitment over. His friends all dislike her and say that she used him for money during their relationship. He is still helping financially support the kids and claims thatís what they talk about. Is it selfish that I think he needs to move on?

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