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Thread: My LDR boyfriend of 7 years shocked me

  1. #11

    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    How much time have you spent in person with him?

    From what I read, he flew over once, spent 10 minutes with you, kissed you, then he left and you got married. Then he flew over a second time and you spent a week together.

    So, am I correct in saying you have spent a week and 10 minutes physically together?

    If so, it's too bad this continued for as long as it did because it didn't have any basis in reality. He should have told you he had no intention to make this fantasy a reality.

    Yes, you are correct. However; we spent so much time together online, for so many years I knew every little thing about him.

    When we met in person it didnít even feel weird we were having the same conversations that we have on the phone or on cam. I did tell him that maybe itís an issue for him and he said he knows me better than anyone else and I know him more than anyone in the world, he kept saying he doesnít even need more time in person to know that Iím the one for him.

    And to be honest he wasnít idle, he was applying for jobs in my region. He contacted few westerners that I work with at work as I work in an international organization with expats from all over the world.

    He even sent me his resume to try and find him jobs on me own. The agreement was he lands a job moves here as he always wanted to work abroad, spend more time with me in person. Then, meeting my parents and all so I never doubted his words.

    Youíre right though this was all a fantasy.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Wilds of Texas
    Don't be too hard on yourself. The best lies are always sprinkled with bits of truth. This guy certainly sprinkled enough truth and actions to keep things going with you.

    I mean even people who are married, living together end up missing clues to their SO's double life, cheating, lies, etc. Plenty of that around. It's not even about online/real life. It's just learning to pick up on the little inconsistencies, clues, broken promises and learning how to be not only more vigilant, but more ruthless in cutting those kinds of people off. Learning to listen more to your gut and reading between the lines, your gut was screaming at you for quite some time. After what you've been through, it sounds almost like you could write a book on that or start a blog, once you reflect fully on everything. Evil people do walk among us and they often look innocent and friendly. The proverbial wolves in sheep's clothing.

  3. #13
    Silver Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Well, when there is that much drama and it's not even a solid relationship yet, it's probably a clue that it's not a match. Try dating somebody locally.

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