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Thread: He toke me for Abortion then left me

  1. #1

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    He toke me for Abortion then left me

    Hi to All,

    thank you in advance for your help and point of view on my situation. I have been in 6months relationship when I got pregnant. We were very much loving each other and decided we should give our relationship little bit more time together before we settle for family.
    We decided for Abortion. He toke me to hospital then home and toke care of me for couple days. Then he left.
    He aready has 7 year old daughter that I had a great relationship with. Everything seemed fine and now I am torn and I do not undestand. He keeps telling me that he is confused and hurt and does not know what he wants, he misses me, but does not wanna be with me. He keeps messaging to me. It has been 2 months. Everytime I do answer him it gives me "hope" and it hurts me too.
    I suddenly feel like none of this was my choice and I am just hurting over him and the baby I have lost and the Love that we had. How can I get out of this situation, is there way back? Can a relationship that has these cracks work again?

  2. 03-14-2019, 06:43 AM

  3. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It sounds like you were both upset by an unexpected pregnancy after dating only 6 mos. Take time to reflect, take care of yourself and heal. He may need time to process this and reflect if he wants to rush things like this and that needs to be more responsible about using condoms/birth control..
    Originally Posted by veckerka
    I have been in 6months relationship when I got pregnant.
    He keeps telling me that he is confused and hurt and does not know what he wants, he misses me, but does not wanna be with me.

  4. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    It's really hard to say at this point if you can go back to dating and being a happy couple.

    An abortion can be traumatizing, not just to the mother but to the father as well. It obviously changes things and makes it difficult to see past.

    Only time will tell if you and he can get past this.

  5. #4
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    Iím sorry that this has happened to you. At least you know how he reacts through major life changes. It doesnít sound like heís one to stick around. That makes a difference.

    I would move on from him.

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  7. #5

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    Hi Thank you for sending this.
    It is really confussing, he used to say very personal things, remembering the moment we had together. He would tell me that he misses me and that he ed up big time. Now he asked what I had for lunch. He does not suggest to meet or make no plans together. I sorta feel like he is doing it just to justify what he did.
    We had great time together, when we were together before I got pregnant. After it all went wrong. So I know two different side of him. I feel like he is not man enough, he was certainly not in the situations when I needed him the most.

  8. #6

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    Thank you for your advice.
    the Time is the best enemy now, since it still hurts and feels sorta fresh. But time will tell.

  9. #7

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    thank you,
    I think I just needed to hear this.

  10. #8

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    Thank you,

    appreciate it. I have been thru a lot is a very short time. I undestand the whole time will tell and I am really trying to take it one day at the time, since sometimes It is just so difficult to process my feelings. Thank you

  11. #9
    Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Hang in there. Try to surround yourself with loved ones who genuinely care for your wellbeing. You're far too accustomed to this negativity surrounding you because this relationship has been influencing you for awhile. It's traumatizing enough going through an abortion. You should be telling yourself that you deserve more, you deserve to be treated better and that you don't ever have to go through something like this again. Resist placing the blame on anyone regarding the abortion (it'll just put you on a dark and narrow path downwards). Heal as much as you can from it and re-learn how to love yourself and accept yourself exactly as you are.

    What's forgivable may be emotions which may be tumultuous. What is NOT forgivable, in my mind, is someone close to you who deserts you and betrays your trust at a time when you need it most. He's said some damaging things to you and I don't think it's responsible for you to hold out hope for someone who is capable of betraying your trust so blatantly. Don't be afraid to raise your bar and let go/sacrifice this type of relationship for something far better. I think you would owe it to yourself to ask for more from a partner.

  12. #10
    Silver Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Sorry about your challenges. I don't see how this relationship could work? You haven't been together long, but already he's falling out of love with you and you have lot's of bad memories. Good luck to you.

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