Why so quiet?

Soooo long story short I met a girl 2 months back. We started talking, and after a short time I pulled out because I would always be left on read, not replied too, or she would never text me first.

Fast forward to last weekend we accidentally meet up in the same place. We had a great night of talking to each other and everything else. I find out that she was crushing on me for longer then I knew who she was even haha. She also told me she was worried that she made me mad (she didn't) thats why I quit talking to her, and that she really thought I was a good guy. Then she asked if we could hangout the next night.

We made plans for the next night, they ended up falling through because of an uncontrollable circumstance. So we made new ones... She ended up being sick that night. So I just strait up asked if she was interested in me. She told me she was and that she just was sick. And now we're looking at meeting up next week.

So now what just confuses me is it's back to the same old thing of texting/talking. It's rare, short, sporadic, and when comparing her to other girls it just seems like she's not interested. I even texted her "good morning, I hope you have a good day :)" and she left it on read lol.

To me if it's not gonna work out thats cool. But here, it's got me beating my head off of the wall because she seems like she has no interest but when I bluntly asked if she does she reassured me she does...

I haven't been active on the dating scene in a while so maybe my games just off lol. I planned on waiting until I finished college to get serious with someone, but for some reason she set me off and has me interested. Plus I will be a reasonable distance from her this summer when I start my post college job so we could maybe be seeing each other for something long term.

***fyi I'm not the guy who falls for any and every girl either if they look in my general direction either hahahaha.

So my question is, is she playing hard to get? Are some girls like this? Or other?

I know she's busy too, but her interaction is so little even when we do talk over text/snapcht/etc compared to every other girl I've talked too it just has me stumped. Then in person it was a never ending conversation and she seemed head over heals for me and is very adimate about hanging out again.

Does anyone have any advice/experience on this?

Thank you. I appreciate it!

Stop with all of the texts. Wait until your date, so you have something to talk about..

"Left on read" is not how you determine interest or pursue dating. She asked you out! Stand up, be more confident, do not keep asking if someone still likes you and simply reschedule. And get off the phone and stop counting the minutes, whatever until someone responds to messages. Stop messaging this much. You're killing any chance you have by acting insecure and overbearing with this many and these type of messages. Go out on a date.

she asked if we could hangout the next night.

it's got me beating my head off of the wall because she seems like she has no interest but when I bluntly asked if she does she reassured me she does...

 

- Always go by their actions, not what they tell you. She may just be telling you what you want to hear instead of rejecting you so you won't bite her head off. Sometimes they can't say "no"

It's too many rescheduled dates for someone new. I say find another woman to date.

Talk is cheap but actions scream.

Point one - you asked her to "hang out" - she blew you off.

Point two - if you asked her to "hang out" - she blew you off, again - then forget her, move on.

Now that hasn't quite happened yet according to your OP.

Stop sending her silly "good morning" messages. Too intense.

Wait a couple of days and then message her to set up a date.

Not this "let's hang out" BS. Ask her "hey do you want to go on a date to go to a [bar/dinner/movie/bowling/whatever].

You'll know soon enough whether to continue putting effort in.

Hey thanks everyone for the replies. I appreciate it!

Let us know how it goes.

"We made plans for the next night, they ended up falling through because of an uncontrollable circumstance. So we made new ones... She ended up being sick that night. So I just strait up asked if she was interested in me. She told me she was and that she just was sick. And now we're looking at meeting up next week."

What was the uncontrollable circumstance? Was it on your end or hers? I placed in bold "we" because it's not clear who is bringing up these plans first--her or you. Whoever is the one breaking plans needs to be the one who brings up rescheduling. That will give you a clue as to if the other person is truly interested. You shouldn't be the one making all the effort.

Maybe she's not into texting. Maybe she's kinda into you but it's sort of not enough and she'll try hanging out cause it's fun when a guy has a crush on her. I know that I briefly dated a guy where our chemistry was out of this world and we had fun together, but he just didn't make the effort I wanted for a potential LTR. Turned out he just wanted to jump from one woman to another without having the goal of a LTR.

In my opinion, when a person is really into you, they will make that crystal clear. I know that when I dated my future husband, there was no question in my mind that he was crazy about me, and it was a reassuring feeling.

I'd say to go ahead and go on that date, but if you were the one to set it up, let her ask for the next one. That's how you gauge a person's interest, because some people are too cowardly to say no or have other reasons for accepting even though they are just not that into you. You might ask on that date what type of communication and how often she likes/expects to have and maybe you can get some insight on what she likes and doesn't like. If a relationship is more frustrating than satisfying, it means she's not the right person for you.

I can't believe you people who are telling him to stop being 'insecure' or 'unbearable'. This SUCKS! Someone clearing reading your message and deciding not to answer back is extremely frustrating and rude! Some of you people clearly have never been left on read.

I can't believe you people who are telling him to stop being 'insecure' or 'unbearable'. This SUCKS! Someone clearing reading your message and deciding not to answer back is extremely frustrating and rude! Some of you people clearly have never been left on read.

I would get tired of a bunch of texts coming through from someone I barely know. Hell, who has time to be texting all the time, even in a serious relationship. If you do, then that's the problem.

Just a quick summary to some of the questions.

I don't text her a ton. Messaged her like once a day, usually later in the day because I'm pretty busy myself.

She asked me to get together with her right after we met up unplanned. It got canceled because she had to take someone elses shift (uncontrollable circumstance). She was supposed to be off at 6:00pm but then had to stay until close (was legit she was snapchatting me lol).

As far as experience I've dated a couple girls in the past, both for a decent amount of time (1.5 years, and 2.5 years), split up with both relationships due to me moving far away. Thats kind of why I wanted to wait to pursue someone until I settled down. I also had "things" with multiple others. This girl now is a 180 from all of them over the phone lol.

Once again in person she was a riot and we vibed very well, and the times we did talk about seeing each other again over text she was VERY adamant of doing so. Like it wasn't "sure I'll see what I'm doing." She said "Yes! I'm only free Tuesday night though, I hope that works?"

Most girls who did this I would just pass on no questions asked. But this ones tough lol

Thanks again everyone. I appreciate all of your input. All my buddies tell me well just f*** and leave but honestly I'm not into that like most guys my age.

So, send her a message on say Saturday/Sunday and say "Hope you are feeling better, can I take you out on Tuesday night for dinner?"

And don't send another one unless she replies.

And if she says yes, just say 'great, what sort of food do you want to eat?"

She'll either tell you, or tell you to choose, and your next text is 'I have made a reservation at X restaurant at 7, looking forward to seeing you there!'

Make it somewhere close to where she is to keep it easy, and don't send her any more texts in the meantime.

And stop with the daily texts.

'I can't believe you people who are telling him to stop being 'insecure' or 'unbearable'. This SUCKS! Someone clearing reading your message and deciding not to answer back is extremely frustrating and rude! Some of you people clearly have never been left on read.'

___________

Thank you.

And this is from someone born in 1970. Being left on read IS extremely frustrating and rude. And no woman truly interested in a man will ever leave him on read. And re: good morning texts.. what's wrong with those? I find them sweet.

OP.. she's not all that interested in you I'm afraid. She just didn't want to come out and say it - who would? 'Do you like me?' 'Ehm. No. Sorry'. She's showing you with her behaviour that she's not into you enough to date you. One spontaneous night of talking, she kind of went with the flow but..isn't interested in continuing.. Sorry. :(

Thanks everyone.

The last two nights we ended up meeting up. Two nights ago she came over to my place too and we talked until like 4am. I eventually got a answer out of her ha. I asked, "so can you just be strait up with me, I don't know you all that well yet, but am I waisting my time here? Not that im head over heals or in love, I just am interested in getting to know you?".

The first thing she told me was "well obviously I wouldn't be here if I didn't like you." Then she got really serious and went into detail about how there are some things I need to "know" about her. It sounds like she was ran though the ringer, assulted, and treated very poorly by guys in the past. She told me she shes sorry but she just puts on a strong guard, and don't think I'm waisting my time because shes interested.

So that's that.

Thanks again everyone.

I'd interpret that as "please take this slowly so I know I can trust you".

Act accordingly. Maybe don't smother her? Its a fine line but talk more so you know how much communication she wants.

Good for you getting some direct communication going.

Forsure.

I'm going to pullout of talking to her until the weekends over unless she talks to me first. Then try to make plans for dinner with her on Monday. Once the plans are made, lay off again and see how it goes.

I did message her this morning an application for a trip for class I'm going on that she told me she wanted to go on too (after she found out I was going).

I think you are 100% right there RayRay63. Thanks for the advice.

I'm not sure what it is about this girl compared to the others but she just really interests me. Hopefully I can lay off enough, and not be too much of a nice guy lol.

Thanks

I sent her that application. Left on read. Ha

It may not be a good idea to play these pickup artist games on someone who just confided in you that she is broken and damaged. Why not date more intact women? Don't be a jerk like this. Let a "nice guy" treat her right. She doesn't need more bs just because she's an easy target. Find yourself somebody else easy and stupid to practice these lame PUA techniques on. Play fair. be decent.

I'm going to pullout of talking to her until the weekends over unless she talks to me first.

 

Then try to make plans for dinner with her on Monday. Once the plans are made, lay off again and see how it goes.

 

Hopefully I can lay off enough, and not be too much of a nice guy

I sent her that application. Left on read. Ha

So wait for her to get back to you on her schedule.

Wiseman is right, though, don't game her. Its disrespectful, particularly after she felt safe to confide in you.

As I said before, "talk more so you know how much communication she wants" - after she gets back to you.

Right on RayRay, I'll definitely ask her about talking more next time were together. And I'm not playing games with her. I probably am what's considered a nice guy so I don't want to go over the top and be too nice if that makes sense.

Trolly, I think she is interested in you because she said that to you. The thing with texting and Social Media sites like Snap Chat and others they are set up for short type of responses. That is probably why you are getting those type of responses when texting and then when you meet in person the conversation is great. As for leaving the text read like you said she could have been extremely busy during those times. I think you might be racking your brain too much. Continue getting to know her, but don't pressure her too much because she may get antsy and run away.

Forsure. I decided to just break the silence and asked if she wanted to go out on a date for dinner and drinks this week, she told me she would, but unfortunately will be out of town this week, then asked if Sunday evening worked for me (which it did).

Any advice on if I should contact her between now and then? Maybe wait a few days and see if she reaches out to me?

Shoot a text here and there. Not too much, but not so little that you lose her interest in you. Do not err on the side of 'too cool'. Waiting days at a time and never initiating is the biggest mistake these pickup artist sites you are obviously reading are telling you. This makes her wonder if you are interested at all. And no contrary to the PUA stuff you keep reading, playing games does not "build attraction". Use common sense. Not too much but not too indifferent.

I may be jumping the gun. But I think I'm going to call it quits here after the date Sunday. I just realized if this is how she is when she is into me like she claims, that she won't satisfy me emotionally.

For example, yesterday she snapchats me. I reply like 2 hours later when I'm off work. She doesn't open it for 8 hours, (while she posts stuff to her story during that time) and then leaves it on read once she does open it. It's weird she asked me 2 days before to hangout, but I just have a bad feeling about this. Kind of gives me the vibe like there are other guys, or something. The four times we were together she checked her phone quite regularly too. Hard to get? Maybe. But whatever it is, it's not for me. Same reason we quit talking last December.

I'll probably say something Sunday too once we're parting ways. Nothing bad.

Let me know if I sound irrational lol.