Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 28

Thread: Why so quiet?

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    10

    Why so quiet?

    Soooo long story short I met a girl 2 months back. We started talking, and after a short time I pulled out because I would always be left on read, not replied too, or she would never text me first.

    Fast forward to last weekend we accidentally meet up in the same place. We had a great night of talking to each other and everything else. I find out that she was crushing on me for longer then I knew who she was even haha. She also told me she was worried that she made me mad (she didn't) thats why I quit talking to her, and that she really thought I was a good guy. Then she asked if we could hangout the next night.

    We made plans for the next night, they ended up falling through because of an uncontrollable circumstance. So we made new ones... She ended up being sick that night. So I just strait up asked if she was interested in me. She told me she was and that she just was sick. And now we're looking at meeting up next week.

    So now what just confuses me is it's back to the same old thing of texting/talking. It's rare, short, sporadic, and when comparing her to other girls it just seems like she's not interested. I even texted her "good morning, I hope you have a good day :)" and she left it on read lol.

    To me if it's not gonna work out thats cool. But here, it's got me beating my head off of the wall because she seems like she has no interest but when I bluntly asked if she does she reassured me she does...

    I haven't been active on the dating scene in a while so maybe my games just off lol. I planned on waiting until I finished college to get serious with someone, but for some reason she set me off and has me interested. Plus I will be a reasonable distance from her this summer when I start my post college job so we could maybe be seeing each other for something long term.

    ***fyi I'm not the guy who falls for any and every girl either if they look in my general direction either hahahaha.

    So my question is, is she playing hard to get? Are some girls like this? Or other?

    I know she's busy too, but her interaction is so little even when we do talk over text/snapcht/etc compared to every other girl I've talked too it just has me stumped. Then in person it was a never ending conversation and she seemed head over heals for me and is very adimate about hanging out again.

    Does anyone have any advice/experience on this?

    Thank you. I appreciate it!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    19,755
    Stop with all of the texts. Wait until your date, so you have something to talk about..

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    32,449
    Gender
    Male
    "Left on read" is not how you determine interest or pursue dating. She asked you out! Stand up, be more confident, do not keep asking if someone still likes you and simply reschedule. And get off the phone and stop counting the minutes, whatever until someone responds to messages. Stop messaging this much. You're killing any chance you have by acting insecure and overbearing with this many and these type of messages. Go out on a date.
    Originally Posted by Trolly
    she asked if we could hangout the next night.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 03-14-2019 at 04:41 AM.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    1,021
    Originally Posted by Trolly
    it's got me beating my head off of the wall because she seems like she has no interest but when I bluntly asked if she does she reassured me she does...
    - Always go by their actions, not what they tell you. She may just be telling you what you want to hear instead of rejecting you so you won't bite her head off. Sometimes they can't say "no"

    It's too many rescheduled dates for someone new. I say find another woman to date.

    Talk is cheap but actions scream.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    The emerald city
    Posts
    731
    Gender
    Male
    Point one - you asked her to "hang out" - she blew you off.

    Point two - if you asked her to "hang out" - she blew you off, again - then forget her, move on.

    Now that hasn't quite happened yet according to your OP.

    Stop sending her silly "good morning" messages. Too intense.

    Wait a couple of days and then message her to set up a date.

    Not this "let's hang out" BS. Ask her "hey do you want to go on a date to go to a [bar/dinner/movie/bowling/whatever].

    You'll know soon enough whether to continue putting effort in.

  7. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    10
    Hey thanks everyone for the replies. I appreciate it!

  8. #7
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    The emerald city
    Posts
    731
    Gender
    Male
    Let us know how it goes.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,261
    Gender
    Female
    "We made plans for the next night, they ended up falling through because of an uncontrollable circumstance. So we made new ones... She ended up being sick that night. So I just strait up asked if she was interested in me. She told me she was and that she just was sick. And now we're looking at meeting up next week."

    What was the uncontrollable circumstance? Was it on your end or hers? I placed in bold "we" because it's not clear who is bringing up these plans first--her or you. Whoever is the one breaking plans needs to be the one who brings up rescheduling. That will give you a clue as to if the other person is truly interested. You shouldn't be the one making all the effort.

    Maybe she's not into texting. Maybe she's kinda into you but it's sort of not enough and she'll try hanging out cause it's fun when a guy has a crush on her. I know that I briefly dated a guy where our chemistry was out of this world and we had fun together, but he just didn't make the effort I wanted for a potential LTR. Turned out he just wanted to jump from one woman to another without having the goal of a LTR.

    In my opinion, when a person is really into you, they will make that crystal clear. I know that when I dated my future husband, there was no question in my mind that he was crazy about me, and it was a reassuring feeling.

    I'd say to go ahead and go on that date, but if you were the one to set it up, let her ask for the next one. That's how you gauge a person's interest, because some people are too cowardly to say no or have other reasons for accepting even though they are just not that into you. You might ask on that date what type of communication and how often she likes/expects to have and maybe you can get some insight on what she likes and doesn't like. If a relationship is more frustrating than satisfying, it means she's not the right person for you.

  10. #9

    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1
    I can't believe you people who are telling him to stop being 'insecure' or 'unbearable'. This SUCKS! Someone clearing reading your message and deciding not to answer back is extremely frustrating and rude! Some of you people clearly have never been left on read.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    19,755
    Originally Posted by pinkbich
    I can't believe you people who are telling him to stop being 'insecure' or 'unbearable'. This SUCKS! Someone clearing reading your message and deciding not to answer back is extremely frustrating and rude! Some of you people clearly have never been left on read.
    I would get tired of a bunch of texts coming through from someone I barely know. Hell, who has time to be texting all the time, even in a serious relationship. If you do, then that's the problem.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •