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Thread: Texting & Relationship Anxiety

  1. #1

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    Texting & Relationship Anxiety

    Hi All,

    I'm new here so first post! I've been with my GF for 8 months, I'm 24 and she is 23. We met in London and she lived here for before moving back home to Edinburgh.

    We've now been doing a long distance relationship for 4 months. We see each-other at least once a month.

    I'm the anxious attachment style partner and I would say she is the avoident style. I'm the more lovey dovey, soppy like cute texts kind of guy ... she isn't.

    Anyway! We have pet names for each other as most relationships do, from time to time we'd call each other "babe" "hun" "darling" "angle" etc.. you get the idea. Especially in the morning with morning texts it would be "Good morning babe!" followed by a bit more text in for example..

    However 3 days in a row now shes simply just put "Good morning" (still followed with some more stuff) instead and its REALLY bothered me... even throughout the day she never says anything pet name wise at all now... I know it sounds petty but its making me feel incredibly anxious? I still have been saying such names but thinking to just stop all together, its making me feel resentful?

    As trivial as it sounds, this is a way for me to feel love/affection from her as of course I can't have the comforts of seeing her physically... I dont understand why it's changed all of a sudden? As far as i'm aware the relationship is generally speaking OK?

    I'd really appreciate some advice on how I can tackle this or even bring it up? I'm worried coming across as needy and pathetic.

    Lastly, I also get super anxious when she hasn't responded quickly? I know everyone is busy and has other things to do rather than stare at their phones... but it just seems shes not as into our conversations as I am.. I'm always the one having to keep the conversation going usually.

    Other than the above she hasn't really given any obvious signs of disinterest and what not.. when I last saw her a week ago she told me how much she loved me etc.. I'm so confused!! Am I overthinking everything? :(

  2. #2
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    Why don't you tell her you miss the "pet names." You are making this out to be more than is.

    Do you have a job, school and friends? Why does she have to respond quickly? She has a life. You need to put down the damn phone and not be so attached to texting.

    You also may want to consider someone that is local. This could be a part of the problem.

    You are overthinking and need to make your life more full outside of all of this damn texting.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-13-2019 at 02:08 PM.

  3. #3
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    How many times a day do you text her?

  4. #4
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I wouldn't mention it to her. I think it would cry out 'insecure,' which isn't attractive in anyone. Maybe the cute-sie names have just become trite and boring to her.

    I agree with Holly that you need to stop relying on her for the meaning in your life. Enjoy where you are and cultivate some friends.

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  6. #5
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    You are going to drive her away with your neediness.

  7. #6
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    you have very different relationship styles, and the distance is going to add to that.
    If she isnt the "pet name" kinda girl... you want to just have a quick chat with her (not a text) about what you need to feel you are in a quality relationship. be prepared for her to say that she needs something else.
    sadly, this might be the beginning of the end.

  8. #7
    From my experience, girls get really bored when a guy does that, plus, it's super "retarded" to do those kind of stuff all-day everyday. Your girl wants something else, instead of chatting 24/7, call her, talk like a mature man.
    I'm in a relationship where my girlfriend wants to chat 24/7 and she calls it "attention" and I call it stupidity. It's much better to have a mature 10min talk, than 10 hour chatting.
    Consider that friend, and please change that needie stuff you do, it's not a good side of you. Be a man, not a girl.

    My advice is to find a local girlfriend, trust me, seeing each other once or twice a week is much better than texting non-stop.
    Last edited by MareGraphics; 03-13-2019 at 06:18 PM.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by MareGraphics
    From my experience, girls get really bored when a guy does that, plus, it's super "retarded" to do those kind of stuff all-day everyday. Your girl wants something else, instead of chatting 24/7, call her, talk like a mature man.
    I'm in a relationship where my girlfriend wants to chat 24/7 and she calls it "attention" and I call it stupidity. It's much better to have a mature 10min talk, than 10 hour chatting.
    Consider that friend, and please change that needie stuff you do, it's not a good side of you. Be a man, not a girl.

    My advice is to find a local girlfriend, trust me, seeing each other once or twice a week is much better than texting non-stop.
    This is offensive.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MareGraphics
    From my experience, girls get really bored when a guy does that, plus, it's super "retarded" to do those kind of stuff all-day everyday. Your girl wants something else, instead of chatting 24/7, call her, talk like a mature man.
    I'm in a relationship where my girlfriend wants to chat 24/7 and she calls it "attention" and I call it stupidity. It's much better to have a mature 10min talk, than 10 hour chatting.
    Consider that friend, and please change that needie stuff you do, it's not a good side of you. Be a man, not a girl.

    My advice is to find a local girlfriend, trust me, seeing each other once or twice a week is much better than texting non-stop.
    As is this...

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by maew
    As is this...

    Yup.........

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