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Thread: My boyfriend is starting to think we are friends.

  1. #1

    My boyfriend is starting to think we are friends.

    Me and my boyfriend have been having more aruguments than usual lately and we are both very stressed with work and this is affecting our relationship. The other day we had an argument and it led us to having a conversation with one another and I thought we had sorted things. Then when he returned back to his house we spoke about it again and she said he feels like we are turning in friends, he said he still loves me and is attracted to me but he said he doesnít know why because he feels the same way about me as his did when we first started dating. We both was our relationship to work and we love each other very much. I just donít know what to do in this situation and I want things to be normal again.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How long gave you been dating? What are the arguments about? It sounds like he wants to break up and is setting the table to bow out of this with the "friends" thing. Or he met someone and that is the line he is rehearsing "we're like friends", "we're just friends", etc.

    It may be best to pull back, reflect and give each other some time to deal with "work stress" in a healthier way than being at each other's throats. Spend less time together and less time communicating.
    Originally Posted by Scarlet12345
    Me and my boyfriend have been having more aruguments

    he feels like we are turning in friends.

  3. #3
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I think he said that out of turn because with all the arguing has made him disconnect emotionally. And so how can anyone feel desire with all that negative interaction right? This is what you do: Step 1, give each other more space. Like to go out and do your own thing. Step 2, stop checking up on each other. You should be able to have enough trust that you don't need to monitor each others movements. Step 3, be positive. If you stay positive and don't sweat over the small stuff, it will knock down the tension. Step 4, when you spend time together, make is quality one on one time. Go out, have fun dates, try new things together. Hopefully this will bring back that passion you once had for each other.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Since you both love each other and want things to work out, it will take effort on both your parts, because relationships are like plants. If you don't take care of them, they will die. Maybe you're not arguing in the right way. Take turns reading chapters of Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus to each other.

    To reestablish an emotional connection, start being the change you want to see in him and he will likely reciprocate. Write him a note, telling him about all the things you appreciate about him. Ask him to join you in a new hobby like tango lessons or bicycling or anything you two can enjoy together. Go to a couples store and pick up new stuff to use in the bedroom. Look on Cosmopolitan Magazine on line for ideas about new positions. Do things you normally don't do on dates like maybe a hike in a park, a picnic by a lake or an ocean or on a blanket on the living room floor, a mini-getaway weekend in a nearby city.

    Of course, also make sure you have your own stuff going on in your lives--separate hobbies/time with your own friends, etc. so you can miss each other.

    Good luck and let us know how it goes.

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  6. #5
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    you SHOULD be friends as well as bf/gf --- no one feels the same way when they first started dating

  7. #6
    Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Why are both of you so stressed out with work?
    What is causing or at the root of the difficulties at work?

    Don't self-sabotage under stress.

  8. #7
    The stress is with the workload that comes with it so the studying and deadlines as well as a job.

  9. #8
    Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Scarlet12345
    The stress is with the workload that comes with it so the studying and deadlines as well as a job.
    Here are some tips on how to go about with working and studying at the same time. It's not easy. I did it for many years and I still have to do ongoing courses to maintain my designation. Whatever you choose in life, you should try to keep improving yourself even if it's not mandatory. It'll keep you competitive in the job market and you may learn a lot from your peers. These are all ongoing lessons. Don't be afraid to pick up where you left off, dust yourself off and learn from your mistakes and bloopers. Your partner in a committed relationship should have similar goals and be on the same page as you regarding your future/s. Don't be afraid also to grow forwards even if it means outgrowing your partner. These are all steps that you'll have to discover along the way and eventually learn to make choices that are good for you or choices that increase your happiness and level of fulfillment in life. Resist dead ends and find ways to stay motivated. Not everyone will understand you but you are the only person you should be answering to at the end of every day. If you are not happy with yourself you will never be happy in relationship.

    -prioritize your tasks
    -be realistic (this means learning to let the relationship take a backseat every now and then and focus on what you have to do first)
    -make sure you're with the right person who is strong enough to either support you without following the same path or similar enough to you to understand what you're doing
    -don't self-sabotage and introduce too many projects at the same time (this goes hand in hand with being realistic)
    -stay motivated (this means rejecting items, ideas or people who negatively influence your goals or your levels of happiness/fulfillment)
    -enjoy the journey

    Keep going.


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