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Thread: Extremely scared shy guy

  1. #21
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    Hollyj because im in love with him, im attracted to him more than Ive been attracted to anyone Ive ever seen, and it lasts for a very long time. I've been having regular conversations with him for months now, so we are acquaintances now, so its not like we have talked once or smth like that. its just that he is very anxious most of the time when he talks to me. Yes he is acting weird but he used to be bullied severly as a child and maybe thats why

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Bluemoon007
    Hollyj because im in love with him, im attracted to him more than Ive been attracted to anyone Ive ever seen, and it lasts for a very long time. I've been having regular conversations with him for months now, so we are acquaintances now, so its not like we have talked once or smth like that. its just that he is very anxious most of the time when he talks to me. Yes he is acting weird but he used to be bullied severly as a child and maybe thats why
    You do not even know this person. He mumbles and breathes at you, these aren't conversations..
    Attraction is not love.
    He has no issues speaking with other people, so you need to stop making excuses.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-13-2019 at 03:05 PM.

  3. #23
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    This is not "regular conversations": "he acts really weird. From the first time we talked till now he is still painfully nervous and its been months. He barely has the courage to look at me, he trembles when I come to talk to him, if he can he avoids me or pretends he didnt see me. If we talk he replies with one word answers mostly, his voice is so quiet I sometimes dont even hear him or he wants to say something but nothing comes out of his mouth just loud breathing. "

    I mean this in the kindest way, you need to address this unhealthy obsession you have with this guy.

    I don't get the attraction, here.

  4. #24
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    If you interact with him again in person simply ask him if hed like go get lunch with you one day. If he is interested in spending one on one time with you he will say yes or will say when he can make it if he is busy this week. Do not share feelings. After that leave him alone for good if he says no or is vague. Do not involve his friends.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    If you interact with him again in person simply ask him if hed like go get lunch with you one day. If he is interested in spending one on one time with you he will say yes or will say when he can make it if he is busy this week. Do not share feelings. After that leave him alone for good if he says no or is vague. Do not involve his friends.

    "I tried everything even invited him to coffee, at first he said yes that we will go after the holidays then after he said no?"
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-13-2019 at 03:41 PM.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bluemoon007
    Rose Mosse how on earth did I harass him? By being nice to him when i see him? I only talk to him when I see him and the fb message was about school work..I dont understand how that is harassing or dangerous territory.
    Reread your post #1.
    Everything about his responses to you tells me your attention is unwanted and you're a bit misled in your perceptions.
    He doesn't want to have anything to do with you but in your mind you believe he's "shy" because your friends tell you that. He doesn't even display qualities of a shy person because his behaviour is completely different around others. It seems more like he's nervous around you because you don't know how to take no for an answer and he likely doesn't want to appear like a complete jerk in your mixed social circles. He may even be more attracted to someone you know instead of you and doesn't want to upset anyone. You're embarrassing yourself, I'm afraid. Leave him alone and stop pestering him.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Reread your post #1.
    Everything about his responses to you tells me your attention is unwanted and you're a bit misled in your perceptions.
    He doesn't want to have anything to do with you but in your mind you believe he's "shy" because your friends tell you that. He doesn't even display qualities of a shy person because his behaviour is completely different around others. It seems more like he's nervous around you because you don't know how to take no for an answer and he likely doesn't want to appear like a complete jerk in your mixed social circles. He may even be more attracted to someone you know instead of you and doesn't want to upset anyone. You're embarrassing yourself, I'm afraid. Leave him alone and stop pestering him.
    Nailed it!!!

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    "I tried everything even invited him to coffee, at first he said yes that we will go after the holidays then after he said no?"
    Oops sorry. Yes that ship has sailed.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bluemoon007
    Hollyj because im in love with him, im attracted to him more than Ive been attracted to anyone Ive ever seen, and it lasts for a very long time. I've been having regular conversations with him for months now, so we are acquaintances now, so its not like we have talked once or smth like that. its just that he is very anxious most of the time when he talks to me. Yes he is acting weird but he used to be bullied severly as a child and maybe thats why
    Who cares if he's shy or anxious? Weather that's the reason he's not reciprocating or it's because he's not interested at all the outcome is the same: he's not reciprocating nor moving himself in the direction of making an actual date happen. So that's why you should back off.

    If someone doesn't reciprocate your advances you back off regardless of the reasons the person have to not reciprocate. That's simple. You can't convince someone to want to date with you or force someone to deal with whatever issues they have so that they can date you. He's just not that into you/ you make him all too uncomfortable. Accept it. You'll lose a fantasy but gain the perks of reality.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Your crush on him isn't allowing you to credit him for deciding what he wants and behaving accordingly. He's not pulling your pigtails, he's avoiding you.

    I'd back off, and if you cross paths at a party or gathering, I'd be kind, but I wouldn't lay it on thick. He's either interested or he's not. At this point he NOT. Respect that.

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