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Thread: 6 months post breakup

  1. #1
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    6 months post breakup

    Hi everyone,

    It now has been 6 months since my ex-gf broke up with me. During that time I went trough a lot of emotions.

    Recently I met a new girl, but I just can't stop comparing her to my ex (who I still love). Should I take more time for myself and heal before dating someone else?

  2. #2
    Silver Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Keep dating even though you may not be ready - it helps ease the pain, it's good therapy.

    Some people would say don't play with people until you fix yourself - those people should google the term "nice guy", and stop being a wimp.

  3. #3
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    It does, but I genuily don't like taking advantage of someone else, or hurting someone else's feelings..

  4. #4
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    It does, but I genuinely don't like taking advantage of someone else, or hurting someone else's feelings..

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  6. #5
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    How would you feel if you were dating someone, got to really like her, then she told you she had to stop dating you because she was only using you to try to get over her ex? And that she compared you to her ex and she felt her ex was better than you and she still loves him?

  7. #6
    Silver Member Betterwithout's Avatar
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    I've been on the giving and receiving end of "dating while not over the ex" It does help ease the pain, no doubt about it. BUT it is not fun to be on the receiving end of it, especially if things are going well (in their eyes) and things go South, it hurts.

    Having said that, you may have already answered your own question, no? "but I just can't stop comparing her to my ex (who I still love). Should I take more time for myself and heal before dating someone else?"

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Betterwithout
    I've been on the giving and receiving end of "dating while not over the ex" It does help ease the pain, no doubt about it. BUT it is not fun to be on the receiving end of it, especially if things are going well (in their eyes) and things go South, it hurts.

    Having said that, you may have already answered your own question, no? "but I just can't stop comparing her to my ex (who I still love). Should I take more time for myself and heal before dating someone else?"
    I guess you are right, it's just that I have the feeling right now my life isn't going anywhere. I'm 27 years old, most of my friends are settling and I need to start all over again. Maybe I am looking to much for a new relationship, rather than to focus on my own healing.

  9. #8
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    If you have to ask....

  10. #9
    Silver Member Betterwithout's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pikachu
    I guess you are right, it's just that I have the feeling right now my life isn't going anywhere. I'm 27 years old, most of my friends are settling and I need to start all over again. Maybe I am looking to much for a new relationship, rather than to focus on my own healing.
    Healing doesn't have to span several years. A hiatus could be 3 or 6 months or a year.
    Trust me on this one, it's not beneficial for either person with just one toe in the water of a new relationship. A time gap can really do wonders.

  11. #10
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    What your friends are doing is completely irrelevant to your own situation, so disregard that one.

    I personally don't date for a year after the end of a long relationship, because I know that by that time I'll have processed all the emotions, learned the lessons of the relationship and had time to move on. At least, I don't date with a view to starting a new relationship.

    Getting out and about, meeting up with people whilst being clear it's for companionship and nothing more will help with the healing process whilst not leading the other person on. Like you, I don't like taking advantage of other people or hurting their feelings, but I've met plenty of others over the years who like to meet up because of joint interests or whatever and aren't particularly looking for a new relationship either.

    I've also been on the receiving end of people who were using me to get over their ex, and it's not good for self esteem or trust (your own or anyone else's). Don't be that guy, and if you need more time - then take more time!

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