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Thread: Weird dream about my ex

  1. #1
    Silver Member Betterwithout's Avatar
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    Weird dream about my ex

    Has anyone had a sexual dream about their ex?
    I had a very intense dream where I was having very enjoyable sex with my ex. It woke me up and I felt very awkward with my current wife next to me. It's been 10 years since I divorced.

    Anyone relate?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I have had sexual dreams about two guys (not at the same time!) from my past that I had massive feelings for. It does feel weird when I wake up but it doesnt bother me as it's just a dream.

  3. #3
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    If you allow the dream to pass, it will pass. No one can tell you what it means. If you're thinking heavily about it, my first guess would be that you feel a bit bored with your marriage. Totslly normal in an LTR. Don't convince yourself it is some sign to go back.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    No thank God, but now that, that thought has been placed in my head right before bed I believe I am screwed

    The dream can mean any number of things, many believe dreams are the subconscious speaking to us, who knows, Im sure a dream book would help you decipher it.

    I agree with SGH, dont let it get to you too much.

    ETA:

    Originally Posted by Betterwithout

    I am generally unhappy, and feel I married for the wrong reasons.
    We are compatible with many of the fundamentals (morals, family oriented, interests, financial), but our "7 Love Languages" are very different, especially sexually.
    It's been a stumbling block for me. All women I have been with (about 8 or 9) I had great sexual chemistry with about 5 or 6 of them, but with her, it feels very unnatural, even mechanical.
    She has never orgasmed, and hasn't on her own before either. She might have a physical or psychological reason of not having one, but she doesn't care to seek help for it. I've tried everything, many times for long periods of time. Having said that...she seems and says she is content, but I think she doesn't know what she is missing and it affects her interest in having sex to begin with.

    Some say they know they are sexually compatible/attracted just by kissing each other, even the first kiss they have on a date.

    I've never felt tingles when we kiss. Sometimes our kisses feel obligatory.
    I figured our marriage would need some time to flourish, and we'd mesh physically eventually. side note: Her family was dysfunctional growing up, so I thought her comfort level just
    wasn't there yet with me (perhaps her trust in me needed to grow?), but in time would get there. It's been 6 years together, and it's not getting better, I think it's actually getting worse.

    So you ask....why did you marry her, and why did you have a child together?

    Well, it felt right at the time and it felt like the passion was just in the growing stages, and everything else seemed to be falling place. I figured the bond would grow.

    Now I feel like I am staying the marriage for the wrong reasons.....financial, for the kids, companionship.
    Yeah, Id say your subconscious is screaming at you. Have you two tried counseling or anything?

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  6. #5
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    You can't control what you dream about. I'd say yours is more enjoyable than the PTSD type dreams many people get. Don't overthink it.

    Sounds like there are things in your current relationship you need to put that mental energy towards.

  7. #6
    Silver Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    It's ok to to fantasize or dream about other women! Everybody does it.

    What's not ok, is to tell them about it. It could hurt the relationship but never help it. If you need to tell someone, tell your priest or counselor. Openness and honesty are separate things.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Freud would have a field day with this. Only kidding. Perfectly normal.

  9. #8
    Silver Member Betterwithout's Avatar
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    Thank you for the responses everyone!

    -not putting too much thought to it. Dreams are dreams
    -figureitout23 you are right, my subconscious is screaming at me for sure. I have done some counselling and reading up on the subject.
    -Gary Snyder- thanks for the encouragement. I didn't dare "dream" of mentioning it to my current wife. Can you imagine? I love that expression "Openness and honesty are separate things"

  10. #9
    Bronze Member Nickel Speed's Avatar
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    It has happened to me. It is only a dream. No need to dwell on the meaning behind the dream or to feel guilty for it.

    We've all dreamed some very weird crap.


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