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Thread: Dancing With Demons

  1. #111
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    Not if I'm up front about it.

  2. #112
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Nickel Speed
    Not if I'm up front about it.
    But who is going to go for the fact that hey youíre a rebound and Iím using you but hey letís have a good time ? Huh?

  3. #113
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Never use someone to get over someone . That it is incredibly unkind to do.
    Agreed. That's just nasty. Sort yourself out first (therapy/counselling) so as to get to a mentally healthier place before launching into finding new girlfriends.

  4. #114
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    A random hookup in a bar on St. Patty's day weekend who's not in it for a relationship.

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  6. #115
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    You will compare her to your ex and feel awful and guilty because you'll feel like you're cheating even though you wouldn't be.

  7. #116
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Yeh, sorry to say Nickel but a rebound won't help either. In fact in some ways it can make it worse.

    What if she breaks up with you? This will compound the rejection you're already feeling....

    What if you continue seeing her but she's not your ex or not right for you? You'll then have a whole heap of other problems to deal with.

    What if she's really great but your hearts not in it then you'll have to figure out how you're going to break up with her.

    Sorry bud, the only way through the fire is straight through it and letting time work its magic.

    I know it's painful and sux hard but just put one foot in front of the other and keep marching on.

    I know where you're at so just be patient. There's no rush. There's no rule book on how long it 'should' take...Just endure for now and save yourself for better days ahead.

    Hang in there Nickel. You're doin' ok*

    Carus*

  8. #117
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    3 a.m. and can't sleep.
    Ex is coming to do her laundry tomorrow. I'm thinking about not being here. May go hide in the garage. May go ride, but I'd also like to see my daughter. I don't know.

  9. #118
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    Can you take your daughter somewhere while your ex is doing laundry? Can you pay for her to have her laundry done somewhere else? I'm a big fan of "throw money at the problem" if you possibly can.

  10. #119
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Very confusing. It may be best to sever ties formally and develop a strict and court ordered child custody/visitation schedule. Less confusing for everyone. You wouldn't be up at 3 am wringing your hands pondering what to do if things were clear cut and prearranged. This ad hoc thing is going to make this divorce much more difficult because it keeps things in a state of nebulous chaos.
    Originally Posted by Nickel Speed
    3 a.m. and can't sleep.
    Ex is coming to do her laundry tomorrow. I'm thinking about not being here. May go hide in the garage. May go ride, but I'd also like to see my daughter. I don't know.

  11. #120
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Nickel Speed
    3 a.m. and can't sleep.
    Ex is coming to do her laundry tomorrow. I'm thinking about not being here. May go hide in the garage. May go ride, but I'd also like to see my daughter. I don't know.
    Oh no, no, no, no, no, this is worse than play dates.

    Nickel you are being used.

    Mother of your child or not right now you are in survival mode. She chose to end the relationship, it is not only her responsibility but her only option to find somewhere else to do her laundry.

    Set up visitation, set up child support, cut the cord.

    I realize reconciliation isnít your goal but she is using you as a safety net to such a high level I can almost guarantee cutting ties would have her running back. She needs to know youíre there, thatís why sheís able to do all this while pushing you away, sheís getting her ego stroked at the expense of you, not 100% blaming her because apparently you werenít the best at supporting her, but this isnít how you solve problems. Sheís making you pay for your sins by pressing the nuclear button. At this point Iím not even convinced she truly wants to break up. Just seems like a super unhealthy dynamic...

    To bounce off your title, both have demons to face.

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