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Thread: Should I meet this girl or not ?

  1. #1
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    Should I meet this girl or not ?

    I've been chatting to this girl in work for a month now. She's single and on another department to me so I don't see her in work that often only really one day a week if even that. On Saturday I went out with a friend and had a few beers and decided to ask her if she wanted to come out as I felt more relaxed and confident. I did ask her quite late on in the evening too at about 8 or 9 o'clock at night rather than say a lot earlier because like I say I didn't plan on doing it at all but the alcohol made me feel like trying. I did mention I was with a mate as to being alone. She said she was studying for an important exam on Monday, but she then said she was going out next Thursday and to go with her for that. A few days earlier she did nearly the exact same to me, asking whether I was already out though as to asking me out but I was in work really late, I finished work around 12am but shed messaged me 11pm asking me if I where out. I hadn't spoke to her for a few days before so its not like I told her I was going out that night or had spoken to her recently.When I said I wasn't going out she seemed disappointed, and then asked me when I was next in work and my reply was the next day and she seemed to be happy because that was the day she was in.

    Now this is the part where I am so confused and need help with. I have already been out with this girl once and am pretty certain this Thursday will be the same scenario. Plus when she told a girl in work about the last time we went out, she said to this girl you should come, when the other girl made a joke about 3s a crowd she reacted by saying are mates where with us that night which is true. When I went out with her that one time, she had about 3 or 4 mates with her, I brought one of my own but he left pretty early well virtually within 5 minutes of getting there so I was alone with them and felt a bit out of place. The night was a disaster as I couldn't really speak to her much as her mates where obviously around a lot and a bit drunk and am not good with chatting to complete strangers but also Id had a few beers in me that night so that didn't help my cause. I am so surprised and shocked that she has asked me to go out with her again because I thought after last time there would be no chance of it. I honestly don't know what to do. In my heart I feel if I go again I could give her a whole better impression of me because last time was so bad and just go sober as to last time time drinking before id met her. But in the back of mind am thinking whats the point, or should I just begin to stop talking to her and thinking about her now and try to move on. She DOESN'T know I like her.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Can you try to set up a real date one-on-one and ask her in advance? calling up drunk or late or to join you with mates is not a date and just seems like friends from work hanging out. Are you interested in her as more than a work mate? Of course she doesn't know you like her, how could she? You're not acting like it by stepping up and going on a real one-on-one date.
    Originally Posted by tezza1992
    I have already been out with this girl once and am pretty certain this Thursday will be the same scenario. She DOESN'T know I like her.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Right now, I would say she sees you as a hang out buddy. If you want it to be more, you need to tell her otherwise you'll be friend zoned for good.

    You should be asking her out on a proper date, like out to dinner and it just be the two of you.

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    Why aren't you asking her on a proper date?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I'd say: Actually, instead of hanging out with you and your group of friends Thursday, I'd really like to get to know you better, one-on-one. Are you free Friday or Saturday night for dinner?

    I know when I was in community college, a guy I was interested in kept asking me to do stuff like playing racquet ball with him and two other guys, and I didn't know if I was his buddy or if he also had interest in me. It went on to doing stuff like going to the movies with him, just us two, but he never attempted to hold my hand or anything. It was quite frustrating to me. I got so tired of waiting that I started dating someone else and then eventually found out that he had been interested and for whatever reason I don't know about, he had issues or wasn't good at dating.

    Her reply about the dinner will let you know of her possible interest. While out with her, read her signals like if she welcomes your touch or not, such as when you hold the door open for her at the restaurant, you might place your hand at the small of her back as you both walk in.

    Since you rarely see her at work, if it doesn't work out, I'm sure you can deal with seeing her once in a blue moon. It's usually better to take risks than to let opportunities pass you by. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Really? Go out with her, stay sober, have fun.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Be direct and ask her out on a proper date if you like her OP... just you and her. This way you will let her know you like her and find out if she likes you for certain.

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    Iíll be honest the reason I havent asked her out on a date just yet is that I think she is just out of my league. But I feel like the longer I leave it she could find a boyfriend and Iíll regret not having the guts to ask if there is the slightest chance. Sheís a student too so I know she is busy at the moment too. But I have some positive signs to go on that she might like me, things like thinking to invite me out when I hadnít seen her or messaged her for a few days ,and hanging around me for say 10 - 15 minutes after her shift is finished which seems to happen every week, once I finish work am sprinting home ! The only negative signs are really are in my head, Iím my own worst enemy and I feel as though am not worthy enough. But my best mate in work whoís noticed her with me reckons I have a chance and he is one of the most honest people Iíve met and he would tell me straight if I had no chance what so ever which gives me some hope !
    Iíve decided am just going to ask her out when she finishes work Friday in person. Iím in work Thursday so wonít be able to meet her at all.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Iíll be honest the reason I havent asked her out on a date just yet is that I think she is just out of my league
    You do know that it's a state of mind and not a real thing, right? There is no such thing as "someone being out of someone else's league". People are all different, some are more introverted than others, some more outgoing, people have similar preferences, others are complete opposites. Some choose different lifestyles than others. Etc, etc.
    BUT the bottom line is, NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE.

    And please don't go into the thinking of something ridiculous like looks...looks are superficial and mean zip. I have met some so called very attractive looking people and they had the ugliest personalities and traits you'd ever want to find in a person.
    Looks fade and everyone ages. So no...do not choose someone based on what they look like, or at least not on that alone.

    And let's say they have all the preferences you like and you find them attractive, again, that's your perspective but that does not mean they would be everyone else's choice or that anyone else would find them great. Basically what I am saying is, there is no one that is better than anyone else and it is more personal preference and opinion based than anything else.

    If you're feeling less than, you might want to perhaps consider how your self esteem is. You should be feeling as worthy as anyone else on the planet because truth be told, even if you don't feel that way, it still is the truth!!

    You sound like a nice and decent guy who is responsible and works hard...what more could a woman ask for??
    I say ask her out. It will either be yes or no. But hey, even if she does turn you down, don't let it bother you too much. Trust me when I say every single one of us have been rejected at some point.
    I personally find self confidence a huge plus in a man. I hope you can work on that because truly it will benefit you in many ways and not just dating.

    Fingers crossed for you.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. Make sure you ask in advance (not the night of) and have a specific plan in mind. Don't just hanf g out in a bar or with a bunch of people. Ask her what she is doing this weekend.
    Originally Posted by tezza1992
    Iíll be honest the reason I havent asked her out on a date just yet is that I think she is just out of my league.
    Iíve decided am just going to ask her out when she finishes work Friday in person.

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