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Thread: I could just be scared?

  1. #1
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    I could just be scared?

    So.. Ive been seeing this guy for about 8 months.

    Recently I've started to notice I've been a bit unhappy.. His communication is terrible. I asked if he could see a future with me.. And if he wants to go into a long distance relationship when he leaves for work. He said "We'll have to see." And he leaves soon.

    The other day I went over to his house.. And he barely acknowledged my existence and just kept playing video games.

    Just things are lacking. I always feel unimportant to him. I always feel like a second thought.

    I know I should leave.. I don't need to be wasting time like this.

    But I find myself scared. I'm scared I'll regret it. I'm scared I'll miss him. I'm just terrified.

    Pretty normal I'm assuming? I feel like he isn't even too into the relationship anyway.

    Advice?

  2. #2
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    Fear is a normal and possibly effective emotion to have when ending a relationship. Often times, we are more comfortable with accepting a known disappointing situation than facing a new and frightening (but possibly improved) situation.

    You acknowledged in your post that he's treating you badly and refusing to make plans for the future. He's a coward who is not genuinely invested in continuing the relationship when he leaves, but too scared of being alone through the transition or feeling like he's "made a mistake" to be honest with you.

    Don't wait around thinking the two of you are going to work it out when he leaves. End it now and empower yourself by recognizing that regardless of the situation or the feelings you have for this man that you deserve more than what he's providing.

  3. #3
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    You're scared you will continue to be ignored and fell unimportant? If you think its bad now, wait until he moves.

    You need to address your fear of being without a man. You cannot be happy until you are content with yourself. You can do better than this clown.

    What are you "terrified" of? Do you have a life outside of this guy?
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-10-2019 at 11:42 PM.

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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    You're scared you will continue to be ignored and fell unimportant? If you think its bad now, wait until he moves.

    You need to address your fear of being without a man. You cannot be happy until you are content with yourself. You can do better than this clown.

    What are you "terrified" of? Do you have a life outside of this guy?
    I do have a life outside of him. But honestly probably not much of a life. I recently got offered a job in a new town and state which I'm taking. I know the new scenery will be a good new beginning.

    I honestly think I was just way too wrapped up in him.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pancake1234
    I do have a life outside of him. But honestly probably not much of a life. I recently got offered a job in a new town and state which I'm taking. I know the new scenery will be a good new beginning.

    I honestly think I was just way too wrapped up in him.
    Yes you sound way too wrapped up in a guy who has little interest in you and is moving away. Let this go, there is nothing to be scared about. You moving to a new place sounds like a good idea. I assume you are young and just not all that familiar with dating and learning to make mature decisions. It will be good for you to move on.

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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    Yes you sound way too wrapped up in a guy who has little interest in you and is moving away. Let this go, there is nothing to be scared about. You moving to a new place sounds like a good idea. I assume you are young and just not all that familiar with dating and learning to make mature decisions. It will be good for you to move on.
    I'm 26, but didn't have many relationships. I also have a hard time realizing when it's time to let relationships go.

    And yeah.. I just fell too hard for the super wrong guy.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Pancake1234
    I do have a life outside of him. But honestly probably not much of a life. I recently got offered a job in a new town and state which I'm taking. I know the new scenery will be a good new beginning.

    I honestly think I was just way too wrapped up in him.
    This is a repeating problem on this site. People tolerating sh*t partners because they have no social life or friends outside of their partner. If you had a life outside of him, you would have dumped him long ago.

    It is good that you are moving and exploring a new life.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    This is a repeating problem on this site. People tolerating sh*t partners because they have no social life or friends outside of their partner. If you had a life outside of him, you would have dumped him long ago.
    Yeah you're definitely right. We have a lot of the same friends and hang with the exact same crowd.

    I think that freaks me out too.. Thinking I'll lose friends too.

  10. #9
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    You have only known these people 8 months, right? What about your friends?

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    You have only known these people 8 months, right? What about your friends?
    I have a a handful of amazing friends outside of our friend group.

    They are definitely supportive as well with all this.

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