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Thread: I could just be scared?

  1. #11
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    Great! Focus on them. You have known those other folks for a minute.

    This will also be an incentive to make more friends in your new home.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Great! Focus on them. You have known those other folks for a minute.

    This will also be an incentive to make more friends in your new home.
    Very good advice. Thank you so much!

  3. #13
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    You will do great!

  4. #14
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I find it helpful to keep my focus on what I'm moving toward rather than away from. If I encounter any pangs of missing an ex, I remind myself that I'm grieving the loss of my fantasy 'about' the person rather than the guy he actually is.

    Even if you believe that you love him, you can take comfort in the fact that some people are best loved from far away.

    If you want to experience the great simpatico of being with someone who's crazy about you and 'gets you,' then let wrong matches pass early and keep your focus on your goal.

    Head high, and never allow the limits of someone else's vision to devalue your vision of your Self.

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  6. #15
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    What I've learned is that its OK to be scared. To feel afraid. To miss an ex and second guess. These are very natural human emotions to feel after break up.

    It's OK!

    What's not ok is allowing your fear to control you. Whether that means remaining in a dysfunctional relationship that's making you unhappy or taking a better job out of state or anything else.

    Embrace the fear, again it's a normal human emotion. The key is -- you control it, rather than allowing it to control you.

    Life is challenging and presents us with many opportunities for growth and change.

    There is a saying, "that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

    So true!!

    Don't run from your fear or deny it's existence. Embrace fear, embrace mistakes, take risks and learn from them.

    The ability to be resilient is a beautiful thing!

    It's having the confidence knowing that no matter what happens, positive or negative, you will be OK. Stronger for having experienced it. This attitude will take you far in life. It has me!!

    Eventually, your fears will lessen replaced with strength, confidence, resilience, flexibility.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pancake1234
    But I find myself scared. I'm scared I'll regret it. I'm scared I'll miss him. I'm just terrified.
    It's "normal" to be scared of letting go of something when you know the process is gonna be painful. Think of it this way though... you are already in pain at how he is treating you, and if you let it go at least you will feel the freedom of not being in a relationship with someone that doesn't show you appreciation.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I read this once and it came to mind here -

    If you were to watch a small animal, let's say a squirrel cross the highway. The squirrel will get almost all the way across and when a car is approaching it will return to the side it came from, even at it's own peril. (I watch for it now and it's true!)

    It goes back to same side it came from because that's what's familiar. Even if it's bad for you, there is some comfort in knowing it's familiar.
    But that's it's only value.

    Cross the road, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Being brave sometimes means you challenge yourself to do things out of your comfort zone.

    Staying where you are at is not an option. Believe you deserve better.

  9. #18
    Silver Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Of course he's not into you, he's leaving for work - did you get that? I'll say it again - the key words are, HE'S LEAVING YOU.

    People who love you don't want to leave you. Period.

    Date other people as quickly as possible, it's good therapy - plus, you might get a real boyfriend.

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