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Thread: Spouse gets angry whenever I try to talk about major problem

  1. #21
    That is what I have decided. All of the marriage counselors in our area havenít been taking new clients for three months. I was able to finally get one today, but he doesnít want to go. I originally was excited that the kids contacted him, but then it seemed like he didnít want me now that he had them. He didnít want to talk about it. The problem began when they were mad at us for him getting lifesaving medical care and surgery. One of them said we could have done a holistic approach and saved lots of money. The doctor said if we had not had the immediate care and emergency surgery, he would have died. I was terrified during this time. That was about two years ago. They proceeded to send me hateful texts and tell me they would make his decisions not me. He has papers in place now so I make the decisions. I honestly feel now like I was just a substitute while they werenít in his life. If he could give me some reassurance that we were ok, they wouldnít bother me.
    I asked him to leave, but he wonít. I even offered to pay for housing for a month, but he wonít leave.

  2. #22
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    I hope you got a pre nup.

  3. #23
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I hope you got a pre nup.
    I didnít, but my state is not a community property state and my house was paid for before we got married and in my name only. We donít own much and I just want this over.

  4. #24
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    No. But, I am assuming you will have to give him spousal support.

    I don't blame you.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You'll still need a divorce to get him out. That house is legally his residence. You can't just use all this hatred toward his kids to make arbitrary my way or the highway rules.

    It's sad that he is delighted that his kids are back in his life and all you can do is feel like it's an intrusion/imposition and spew all this jealousy and hatred. You are not a victim and they are his kids, like it or not. .

    Who cares if they went to college? They are not your kids. Do you have kids? Do they live with you?
    Originally Posted by Georgia Girl
    I didnít, but my state is not a community property state and my house was paid for before we got married and in my name only. We donít own much and I just want this over.

  7. #26
    Silver Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    You have to stay away from the kids, they don't like you. Just see your husband when the kids aren't around. Yup, it might be hard, and you may have to change your lifestyle.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    It's her house. She wants him out, but he won't leave.
    The she files a divorce and moves him out the hard way.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    If they are adults why don't they get a place to live? What is the the problem here? Can't they get their own house and jobs and still have a relationship with your husband?

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Georgia Girl
    She also contributed money to help pay their child support. She is 26.
    You daughter payed the child support your husband should pay to his children?

    Your daughter should have never payed for your husband's child support nor should she be paying him anything.

    As to the kids it's his kids and you can't do nothing about it. If you're not happy with the situation and there's not possibility of everyone getting along well and the resentment is killing you, I suggest you divorce and leave him. Apparently you've been supporting him (together with your daughter) and are now resentful that him, the kids and their mother are expecting you to support the whole family. You shouldn't be against your husband's children. Let him do what he wants and if you can't circumvent like Wiseman has said and if it's affecting you so much, divorce.

    If so, contact an attorney, set everything in order financially, tell your daughter to stop paying stuff to your husband and leave. You cant expel him from the house it's his official residence and he's lived for 18 years. Nor should you. But with an attorney you can all sort out the situation.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Annia
    If they are adults why don't they get a place to live? What is the the problem here? Can't they get their own house and jobs and still have a relationship with your husband?
    I think that that is the problem, plus they treat her terribly. She is paying for his neglect in many ways.

    OP, I still do not understand why he disappeared from his kids lives for all those years?

    I cannot fathom why your daughter paid for his support. Ugh.

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