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Thread: Is it me or his anxiety that caused the breakup?

  1. #11
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    I'm sure anxiety played a roll. You also state he was having troubles with his ex and the divorce...so the ink wasn't even dry. Divorce can take its emotional toll, plus anxiety, possibly depression. It is very possible this fear took over. Included in this scenario is rebound and the ending of the honeymoon phase. That first 2-3 months can be a lot of fun and hot, and then reality kicks in. Personalities emerge and there may be a clash. The idea of blended family and long-term can be scary. Issues with the ex. There was way too much going on. Even in the absence of any anxiety, two months is one of the natural points where relationships have a tendency to drop off once that honeymoon phase reaches an end. He had a ton of other stuff to worry about as well including sorting out his divorce and any parenting issues. I'm sorry you had to go through this. These hurt the most because we did not see it coming. Men who run fast tend to burn out fast too, so always be careful of that.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Originally Posted by kayj1216
    I was dating this guy for a couple of months, both him and I were just out of long term relationships a few months and both have kids.

    Things continued to go well, until one day I noticed he became distant. We had not had a fight, he was after telling me how things were different with me than others he was with, how he felt comfortable around me and how I always made him smile. I called and asked him if anything was wrong and he told me he wanted to end the relationship because we both wanted different things, but we did not, we have had this discussion time and time before. Any advice?
    He talked you into a relationship, but you mentioned "relationship" before that happened. Something isn't right. Were you sleeping with him? It is best to go with what a person does, and not what he says. Either something happened physically that caused him to move on (got what he wanted), or he lied to you on what his intentions were.

    Not sure what you were expecting from an unstable person. All the signs were there.

  3. #13
    Silver Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    He said he needed time for himself and he had moved on too quick from his past relationship.
    - this is the correct answer. He is on the rebound and you were the rebound girl. And it's over forever, sorry.

    For every 5 years a person was in a relationship, it can take 1 to 1.5 years for their emotions to heal and for them to be ready to love another again.

    Dating is a minefield, there are broken heats everywhere.

    The good news is, you only need to find one good one.

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