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Thread: Boyfriend keeps cheating on me

  1. #41
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    'It sounds like they are too close for comfort but with their age and length of their marriage that is unlikely to change. It sounds more like they have become some sort of best friends and still depend on each other a lot more than "cheating".'

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    Agree.

    A friend of mine's on various dating sites at the moment, at 41. To say that pickings are slim in that age group would be a major understatement. I don't even want to imagine what it would be like if she were 20 years older. OP c can of course spend the next couple of years working on her fears and insecurities and hit the sites at 65. Sarcasm.

    When I divorced my ex-h - we'd only been together 5 years - I'd call him, go and see him, spend nights at his - without the slightest thought of ever having any intimacy with him. He was just this person who knew me well and to whose presence in my life I was used at the time. This went on for at least 3 years. It is possible that this is the bf's situation. Not saying it is, and not saying she should stay. Just saying, this was my situation.

  2. #42
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    Originally Posted by Metaltwin70
    When I divorced my ex-h - we'd only been together 5 years - I'd call him, go and see him, spend nights at his - without the slightest thought of ever having any intimacy with him. He was just this person who knew me well and to whose presence in my life I was used at the time. This went on for at least 3 years. It is possible that this is the bf's situation. Not saying it is, and not saying she should stay. Just saying, this was my situation.
    But did you also have a boyfriend while you were still seeing your ex-husband? Because this is the position the OP is in.

    If you had a boyfriend at the time, I doubt you'd have spent time with your ex-husband.

    You can do one, but not both: You can hang with your ex-spouse, or have a new partner, but you cannot do both.

  3. #43
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    But did you also have a boyfriend while you were still seeing your ex-husband? Because this is the position the OP is in.

    If you had a boyfriend at the time, I doubt you'd have spent time with your ex-husband.

    You can do one, but not both: You can hang with your ex-spouse, or have a new partner, but you cannot do both.
    I agree. Why even get divorced. It prevents you from moving on with your life.

    Also, the OP stated that the ex wife cheated on him. At the very least he is very emotionally attached to the ex, and it is an unhealthy situation.

    If he ended the relationship with the OP after seeing her thread, he clearly did not have strong feelings for her. It certainly did not take much. His priority is with the ex wife.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-11-2019 at 11:52 AM.

  4. #44
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    A thought: Are you sure they are divorced?

    What proof do you have? His word?

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  6. #45
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    A thought: Are you sure they are divorced?

    What proof do you have? His word?
    Good point!

  7. #46
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    'If he ended the relationship with the OP after seeing her thread, he clearly did not have strong feelings for her. It certainly did not take much. His priority is with the ex wife.'
    ___________

    Agree.

  8. #47
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    When I divorced my ex-h - we'd only been together 5 years - I'd call him, go and see him, spend nights at his - without the slightest thought of ever having any intimacy with him. He was just this person who knew me well and to whose presence in my life I was used at the time. This went on for at least 3 years. It is possible that this is the bf's situation. Not saying it is, and not saying she should stay. Just saying, this was my situation.
    Codependent attachment.

  9. #48
    Silver Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Oh wow, so sorry he is sneaking. Sneaking = guilty. Threaten to leave and see if he stops. It's called tough love.

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