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Boyfriend keeps cheating on me


SeniorCitize

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My boyfriend (he's in his mid 60s) keeps cheating on me with his ex wife. He was married to her for 37 years and got divorced about 2 years ago. He sneaks off and goes to the casino with her. He claims they are not going on a date, but just carpooling together, even though the drive is an hour each way. Last night I also discovered he snuck off for a 3 day weekend with his ex wife (3rd time I've caught him doing this in 9 months) to go out of state to visit their adult sons. This last time, his one son spent the night at his girlfriend's apartment while my boyfriend and his ex were alone together the whole 3 nights. What do I do? I'm devastated.

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Yes, it's real. I'm 62 and before dating my current boyfriend, it had been years & years since I dated. He gives me excuses that his ex's car isn't in the best shape to travel that distance by herself or that she gets lost easily. Also, he told me that his son's want to see their mom, that my boyfriend takes her so they can see her.

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Yes, it's real. I'm 62 and before dating my current boyfriend, it had been years & years since I dated. He gives me excuses that his ex's car isn't in the best shape to travel that distance by herself or that she gets lost easily. Also, he told me that his son's want to see their mom, that my boyfriend takes her so they can see her.

 

Whatever he is doing, he remains unavailable to you. He has not earned bf status.

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I suspect that you stay with him out of fear of scarcity.

 

You fear that, at your age, men are scarce, so this cheating a-hole is better than nothing. So you choose to believe him when he whitewashes over the truth, because he's so "good" to you, and so "sweet", and he "treats you so well". Am I close?

 

I'm close to your age (just turned 57!) so I get it.

 

I can tell you one thing, and I'll repeat it forever: It's better to be alone and at least open for a good guy than closed up with a jerk. You are in the latter category now, and I highly recommend you change that.

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He says he didn't have sex with her during the last years of their marriage, why would he all of a sudden have sex with her now.

 

You've still never responded to any of us.

 

Not one single person on this board will engage you in your discussion of why he does this or that with her.

 

What we will do, until you stop us, is ask you: Why are you staying with him?

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Yes, it's real. I'm 62 and before dating my current boyfriend, it had been years & years since I dated. He gives me excuses that his ex's car isn't in the best shape to travel that distance by herself or that she gets lost easily. Also, he told me that his son's want to see their mom, that my boyfriend takes her so they can see her.

 

You would rather be with a lying cheat than be on your own? I don't get that! It's sad.

 

You do realize he still loves his wife, and not you?

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Because I love him and have fun with him. He has a kind heart. Maybe too kind, when his ex is involved. I keep telling him that he needs to cut the apron strings to her.

 

Your title says he is cheating on you. Which is it?

 

You know what's going on, and if you choose to disrespect yourself in this manner, then that's on you.

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He says he didn't have sex with her during the last years of their marriage, why would he all of a sudden have sex with her now.

 

You're not blind, you simply don't want to see. It boils down to why. What fear is so big that all this avoidance is the path you choose? Being alone?

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Like I said before, it would be perfect if she wasn't in the picture. Maybe it's because they were married for so long. She had cheated on him and that's why they got divorced. He tells me that he doesn't want to get back with her, even if we were to break up. He's a great person when she's not involved.

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Wiseman2: that's kinda what he tells me. He says they get along better now that they are divorced than when they were married. It still bothers me. I asked him if the people were reversed, and I spent a platonic weekend with an old boyfriend, he said he'd break up with me. Why does he think it's ok to "hang out" with her? He said he realizes it hurts me, yet he did it again last weekend.

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