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Thread: I received a message from another woman about my husband.

  1. #1
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    I received a message from another woman about my husband.

    Tonight I randomly received a message from a woman via facebook. I know her as someone my husband is friends with on facebook. They used to run into each other occasionally because of work, but it has been a while. I noticed within the past month she has started posted on his facebook things like "miss you buddy" and "can you bring me some of that" referring to something my husband was making and sharing on facebook. The conversation between her and I tonight went as follows (all while my husband sat next to me on the couch).

    Her: Hey I know you don't know me but is everything Ok with (my husband, she used his name)?
    Me: Yeah, what is going on?
    Her: We were suppose to hangout this weekend but I forgot my phone in (town) so I had to wait for my boyfriend to bring it to me after he got off work...then he (now referring to my husband) got pissed off at me for it and blocked me on fb. I was worried because in 4 years I've never seen him like this.
    Me: You were suppose to hang out with my husband?
    Her: Yeah, we were gunna get out of town for a few days.
    Me: Why would he get out of town with you? We are married.
    Her: I know you're married. We're just good friends. He's one of the only people who understands me and I've confided in him a lot about things that I don't tell anyone.
    Me: Please do not contact my husband anymore. Thank you.

    I told my husband about this as I was responding to her. He didn't seem concerned and thought that it didn't make sense. He said he blocked her about a week ago because she was acting weird and wanting to hang out with him. My heart is pounding and I don't want to be naive but I want to believe his story. He seems to want nothing to do with her now which is good. And if his story is true, he is basically telling me that she was trying to have something with him and was getting crazy so he blocked her. Can anyone talk me off of the ledge right now? My husband is asleep and I am up freeking out. Did I respond to her in an appropriate way? Thank you.

  2. #2
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    While my radar would certainly be up, his story actually makes sense. She contacted you because he blocked her. And if he made absolutely no effort to meet with her -- which is the case because he was with you -- it sounds like she may be creating a relationship in her head. If he has not given you reason previously to distrust him, you should probably just accept what he is saying. If he starts acting weird, then worry. Right now, it doesn't seem worth it.
    Last edited by arjumand; 03-10-2019 at 01:40 AM.

  3. #3
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    Thank you. And I would like to add that my husband is 39 and she is 23. Ugh!!

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by liz22
    Her: We were suppose to hangout this weekend but I forgot my phone in (town) so I had to wait for my boyfriend to bring it to me after he got off work...then he (now referring to my husband) got pissed off at me for it and blocked me on fb. I was worried because in 4 years I've never seen him like this.

    Her: Yeah, we were gunna get out of town for a few days.
    If this girl is legit and speaks the truth, then there is no way I would be trusting my husband right now. "Hang out this weekend" ??? "Get out of town for a few days" ??? For real?? Does your husband usually go away on his own for weekends?

    She's either legit and telling the truth ....... OR ..... she's full of **** and trying to cause trouble. Either way, she's bad news. REAL BAD news.

    Also, 4 years "friendship". So when he was 35 he was hanging out with a 19 year old? hmmmm ....

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  6. #5
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    It's a little weird that such a young woman would be hanging out at any time with such an older man. It's also not unusual for a man of a certain age to find a much younger woman intriguing.

    My advice:

    Get a copy of Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships ASAP;

    Go to Alturtle.com and read every entry he has posted;

    Act as if nothing is concerning you - jealousy and insecurity are so unappealing they'll drive someone away;

    If she messages you again, ask for copies of DMs or emails.

    Question: What are you prepared to do if you learn he's lying?

  7. #6
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Basically what she is describing is an emotional affair about to become a physical one. She is a trouble causing home wrecker. The fact that your husband has been listening to her drivel this long means he is part of the problem . When she started confiding her problems is when he should have RUN away. I think he realized she wanted a physical affair now or he wanted out of an affair because she threatened to talk unless she got whatever.

    Well, the jig is up now. She played her hand. Now for you to decide what to do.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    But you didn't know your husband was going out of town with her?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Your responses were excellent. Now make sure you delete and block her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. She sounds a bit unhinged, particularly contacting you directly, Fatal Attraction style, and telling you about their planned hangouts..

    However a heart to heart is in definitely order with your husband.
    Originally Posted by liz22
    Me: Please do not contact my husband anymore. Thank you.

    I told my husband about this as I was responding to her.
    He said he blocked her about a week ago because she was acting weird and wanting to hang out with him.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Since the topic has been raised, it's a good time to discuss relationship boundaries with your husband if you've never done so before.

  11. #10
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I would give your husband the benefit of the doubt. HOWEVER, I would sit down with him and get all the details. Has he ever hung out with her one on one? Why did she think he was going away with her for a few days? Something is really fishy here, and I would get to the bottom of it.

    Do you have access to his phone?

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