Well, crap. I feel like I got interested in a TV show only to find out if was cancelled midseason without any wrap-up. My first comment is something the OP said, but since she has not come back in three weeks, it's more a random observation than anything.

Originally Posted by liz22
Thank you all for the thoughts and advise. As I woke up this morning I am still confused, upset and teary-eyed. My husband was not saying anything about it this morning but he could tell I was giving him the cold shoulder. I finally told him "I'm still upset about this but you don't seem to care". He said something to the effect of "I don't know what you want me to do. It sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me".
The part in bold is an accusation. Red flags would go off in my head, as a husband (ex, now) if I heard it. It's two separate accusations and "you don't seem to care" is the worse of the two. It's fine to feel upset, but here you are insinuating he is too blame for you being upset which was not known at that time it's fine to take a while to wrap your head around a situation... and the situation with this woman contacting the OP was weird not matter how you look at. But I'm still upset and you don't care" is not about the 23 year old dimbat.

As a dude, right o wrong, whenever there was a situation between my ex and I, I always tried to fix it while at the same time hoping it was over. She may have felt like I didn't care. But in my mind, it was silly to dredge up something that might be over. I mean, from my perspective, what am I supposed to? Make hr coffee, give her a kiss and ask her if she was still upset. Heck, that could make her mad, too, as if I was downplaying her feeling.

The other observation is how many folks go to the "leave him" scenario first off without really knowing the entire issue. The OP came here with a valid concern. Some folks gace her good advice on how to deal with the situation. Others went straight for the "leave him" scenario. That's a dangerous thing to do on relationship forums where e know only one aide of a story and usually not the entire side.

Funny story. I went to college in my early 30s at a tech school. All of us in the same major had almost every class together There was a young lady there, 21, who attracted my attention on the first day. At one point, I literally reminded myself that I was married. I'm pretty sure Jimmy Carter would say I had committed adultery in my heart. Later, my car broke down and a mutual friend was taking me home while it was getting fixed because we both lived in the same town 30 miles away. One day he friend who I had crushed on came with us and I introduced both of them to my wife.

After they left, my wife could not stop smiling at me, and I said, "What?" I kinda already knew where this was going. And she said, "You like her"? Not an accusation, not really. She knew my type and I think she realized they looked alike in many ways. I laughed and 'fessed up, but it caused no friction between my wife and I because she trusted me not to do anything stupid.