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Thread: Is he being unfair?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    What do you think, GloriaMarie?

    I'm interested to hear how you are taking this feedback.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member superfan's Avatar
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    I think it's highly unlikely that the OPs boyfriend would get that much for an old TV. More than likely he would have ended up having to find a place that would recycle old electronics. The fact that it had been there for so long is a testament to the fact that it probably had little resale value.

    It sounds to me like her boyfriend is cheap and a bit of an opportunist. He saw this as a way of getting a few extra bucks for a TV he probably knew he couldn't sell.

    I think the OP needs to decide if this is the hill she wants to die on relationship-wise. For me, I would likely give him $50 and end the relationship. Something like this is an indicator of how finances will be handled in the future and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I am getting nickle and dimed for everything.

  3. #13
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by superfan
    I think it's highly unlikely that the OPs boyfriend would get that much for an old TV. More than likely he would have ended up having to find a place that would recycle old electronics. The fact that it had been there for so long is a testament to the fact that it probably had little resale value.

    It sounds to me like her boyfriend is cheap and a bit of an opportunist. He saw this as a way of getting a few extra bucks for a TV he probably knew he couldn't sell.

    I think the OP needs to decide if this is the hill she wants to die on relationship-wise. For me, I would likely give him $50 and end the relationship. Something like this is an indicator of how finances will be handled in the future and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I am getting nickle and dimed for everything.
    That is what I was thinking.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    How would you have handled it if you were in his shoes? If your approaches to money are very different, then that's a sign of incompatibility. Imo, the fair thing to do would be to replace what you broke i.e. buy him a used one, same model, same condition.

    I would pay up and then break up. His approach sounds too cold for my taste.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately when you break someone's belongings you have to pay. If he asks $75 then that's what it is. Stop haggling, give him the money then end it with this on/off selfish abusive jerk. It's not your job to determine it's value. His stuff, his price.

    Get away from this creep. If you had done so the last of the 100 times he's dumped you, this would not have happened. You can't make good deals with bad people, it's that simple.
    Originally Posted by GloriaMarie
    I was dating my ex for 9 months and we had a pretty rocky relationship. We would go through periods where he wouldn’t talk to me for a couple of days because he needed to think. I just felt alone and had no one else. He said he’d leave my stuff outside and a breakup text was what I deserved.

  7. #16
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    I know how this conversation would have gone down when my husband and I were dating and I was at his place a lot. If I'd broken something like that I would have offered immediately to make it right and he would have said "oh, it was an accident, don't worry about it". And knowing him he would have added "I shouldn't have stored it by the bed"- I would have done the same. If it was his computer or something essential he needed I probably would have insisted and/or taken the steps to help him replace, make the calls, etc. Also I likely would have taken him out to dinner or something like that as my "sorry I was such a klutz".

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by superfan
    It sounds to me like her boyfriend is cheap and a bit of an opportunist. He saw this as a way of getting a few extra bucks for a TV he probably knew he couldn't sell.

    I think the OP needs to decide if this is the hill she wants to die on relationship-wise. For me, I would likely give him $50 and end the relationship.
    I'm with this ^^^ except for the $50. He sounds wound too tight and would probably stalk me for the rest, so I'd say, "Here's your money, and lets call it a day." He'd be history.

    I agree with the folks who say that our own behavior is a reflection on us--NOT to someone else, but it's the message we send to our Selves. I'd consider the $100 bucks my tuition for learning what I needed to 'see' about this guy, because his behavior reflects on him. And it's not pretty.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by GloriaMarie

    I immediately apologized and he was very unhappy.
    ^So he did not accept your apology, proceeded to pour on the guilt, and demanded you pay him back the measly $75.00 for an old TV he was not even using.. Ugh.

    My first thought? What a friggin baby.

    Nevermind the money, I will happily pay him and then buh bye. I'll even put the $$ in a pretty envelope with bright blue ribbon if he wants!! Lol

    Accidents happen. When they do and the person apologizes, as mature adults we forgive them. It was an insignificant "thing."

    Friends, family, significant others.

    To me, his response after you apologized speaks volumes, sends a very strong message that he is an unforgiving person, a money-pincher, a guilt-tripper.

    I know I could never be with a man like this, but your call.

    I would also NEVER insist on my bf, friend or family (or anyone) giving me money for such an insignificant item that they knocked over and broke/damaged by accident.

    Good lord.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 03-10-2019 at 12:36 PM.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I would pay him what he wants and break up. We all need to pay for our accidents but he is being petulant about it. How old is this TV ? Why was it so close to the bed?
    I like this answer.

    He could probably sell the TV for 15 to 20 dollars. He sounds like a jerk.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    In my opinion, you should pay him fair and square. You wrecked his tv, even if it was an accident. There is a good chance he could have gotten $75 for it as tv's are very expensive now a days to buy new.

    Just own up to what you did, pay him and move on.
    I just bought a new TV and they are so cheap. I paid $130 for a Samsung. The fact that he is asking $75 is crazy.

    OP, check market prices online. Do you know the year?

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