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Thread: Is he being unfair?

  1. #1

    Is he being unfair?

    Hello, I have been with my current boyfriend for over a year. Just yesterday, I was laying on his bed with him and bumped his 32 in tv that was laying on the side of his bed. It fell over, and later that night he sent me a picture of the screen all shattered. He recently bought a new 40 in tv and so he wasnít using it. I immediately apologized and he was very unhappy. I offered to replace it if he for some reason needed it. He then went on to say that he wants me to pay him back $75. He is in college and lives on his own so I can understand why he would need the money. But, heís had the tv for years and only paid $100. Iím also in college as well and donít make a lot. He then went on to say it was a perfectly good tv and how he was gonna sell it. I feel like even if he did sell it he wouldnít get that much! Iím conflicted right now because I feel heís being a little unfair. It was an accident, and I feel like maybe we can compromise. I would like to pay him some of the money, and we take the rest out of date night or something. I just feel like as his girlfriend he should be more understanding. Is this a red flag? I want to be with someone who has empathy and understands me, but instead he kinda just expects the most out of me at all times. Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way? I would appreciate some opinions/ perspectives. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I would pay him what he wants and break up. We all need to pay for our accidents but he is being petulant about it. How old is this TV ? Why was it so close to the bed?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    For me, it's a given that if I break something of someone's , I will replace it or give them a fair average market value for it.
    I don't expect special passes because I am close to someone, though people will often offer to forget about it.
    It's not the time to be chintzy on your part, but that's only my opinion. Why would you want someone you care for to bite it when an accident happens?

    The language you use makes me think you did wish he'd have said 'forget it, it's ok, buy me pizza or something'. Does it matter if he uses it or not? Why say I'll replace it IF you have a real need for it? Just do it- that's my thinking.

    Again it's just my way of thinking but I'd do more than that even if the person was being so generous. It's courtesy and about your own set of values you live by.

    I recently replaced a ( pricey to me) board game of a friends. I spilled wine on it. Total accident, she said it's no big deal, but I could tell she was happy I bought her a new one.

  4. #4
    Heís had it for a few years and it was just propped against the bed because he just didnít have a place anywhere else I guess. He had recently put the new one in. I donít know if itís worth breaking up over, but I think itís just more of a concern about what will happen in the future.

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    I agree with itsallgrand. I know itís not a small amount of money but we have to pay for our mistakes.

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    Originally Posted by GloriaMarie
    Heís had it for a few years and it was just propped against the bed because he just didnít have a place anywhere else I guess. He had recently put the new one in. I donít know if itís worth breaking up over, but I think itís just more of a concern about what will happen in the future.
    I would pay what he asks. Proceed carefully. The TV needs to someplace other than propped near the bed.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    In my opinion, you should pay him fair and square. You wrecked his tv, even if it was an accident. There is a good chance he could have gotten $75 for it as tv's are very expensive now a days to buy new.

    Just own up to what you did, pay him and move on.

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    Look up the fair market value for that model and pay him that. (Look for a used version of that model for sale and use that as a guide).

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Look up the fair market value for that model and pay him that. (Look for a used version of that model for sale and use that as a guide)
    Of course if it's less than what your boyfriend asked for, then expect to be single.

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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Of course if it's less than what your boyfriend asked for, then expect to be single.
    Okay, I guess I could have put that in there too, as I was thinking it.

    But, while the OP needs to take full responsibility, I don't think it is fair to charge her extra. Personally, I think his monetary expectation is too high for a used tv. (And I could be wrong). The best way to find out a fair amount is to see what it realistically would have gone for.

    However, if he has to pay a disposal fee too, then OP should pay that as well as for the t.v.

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