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Thread: Depressed after sex with bf

  1. #21
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    So, you're clearly saying he knows how to please you, has been successful before but chooses not to?

    I'd be done.

    Not because I'm not sexually satisfied (well maybe, partly) but mostly because he just doesn't care.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    An older woman once told me, “the first time you sleep with a guy is critical. If he doesn’t go down on you, dump him. Because if he won’t please you the first time, he won’t please you the 100th time either”

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    An older woman once told me, “the first time you sleep with a guy is critical. If he doesn’t go down on you, dump him. Because if he won’t please you the first time, he won’t please you the 100th time either”
    Wise woman!

    OP, if you use your bf's position, he is showing you that he does not love you by not satisfying you sexually. He treats you like a prostitute.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-08-2019 at 07:53 PM.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    An older woman once told me, “the first time you sleep with a guy is critical. If he doesn’t go down on you, dump him. Because if he won’t please you the first time, he won’t please you the 100th time either”
    What is the mix of that dog in your pic?

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    What is the mix of that dog in your pic?
    Rat terrier :)

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    Rat terrier :)
    My mistake. Very cute!!! Love the ears! They look like Jack Russells with pointy ears. Terriers are the best!!!

  8. #27
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I say this as honest as possible...why/how can you be having sex with a man you can't even talk to?
    You can't be that good of friends if you're not able to talk openly with him and tell him that sex is not working out for you.

    I will also add that why on earth would you even consider marrying a man that you're not close enough to that you can't tell him straight away when things are bothering you or work it out as a couple when things go wrong?

    That spells serious trouble and makes me wonder how good of friends you are, which is the foundation of any romantic relationship.

    I can't say if he's selfish because you have not told him how bad things have gotten. You say he's a good man in every other aspect so I am assuming that he isn't being selfish, he just doesn't know how unhappy you are.

    You need to sit down with him, tell him in no uncertain terms that sex is not good right now and what you need for it to be good.
    If he loves you like you say he does, he will want to work this out with you and he will care about your needs as well as his own.

    If he gets angry and does not try to please you then you can be sure that your relationship is not a good one and there is no point in continuing as this is a serious problem and will destroy any relationship, eventually.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    I say this as honest as possible...why/how can you be having sex with a man you can't even talk to?
    You can't be that good of friends if you're not able to talk openly with him and tell him that sex is not working out for you.

    I will also add that why on earth would you even consider marrying a man that you're not close enough to that you can't tell him straight away when things are bothering you or work it out as a couple when things go wrong?

    That spells serious trouble and makes me wonder how good of friends you are, which is the foundation of any romantic relationship.

    I can't say if he's selfish because you have not told him how bad things have gotten. You say he's a good man in every other aspect so I am assuming that he isn't being selfish, he just doesn't know how unhappy you are.

    You need to sit down with him, tell him in no uncertain terms that sex is not good right now and what you need for it to be good.
    If he loves you like you say he does, he will want to work this out with you and he will care about your needs as well as his own.

    If he gets angry and does not try to please you then you can be sure that your relationship is not a good one and there is no point in continuing as this is a serious problem and will destroy any relationship, eventually.
    She has told him numerous times-even cut off sex for three weeks- he simply does not care. I don't understand why she is with him in the first place.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    She has told him numerous times-even cut off sex for three weeks- he simply does not care. I don't understand why she is with him in the first place
    Well if that's true, then you've got yourself a serious problem here. He is being selfish and you will not only be dissatisfied but will end up resenting him and feeling more used.

    I think it's come to a point where you need to tell him that things have got to change or you are leaving him. If he knows how to please and you simply refuses to, then this is none fixable.

    He does not respect you or your feelings and needs.

  11. #30

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    Thank you for the advice...i guess i do have trouble communicating clearly with him about such “sensitive” topics as he is extremely sensitive, takes everything to heart and is quite easily offended and upset. I guess i just dont want to feel like the “bad guy” and like something is wrong with me or I’m asking too much. I think maybe a part of me doesnt even deserve the passion i long for or orgasms. I am quite depressed about the whole situation. I definitely feel resentment and used.

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