Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 25

Thread: Is it normal ?

  1. #1

    Is it normal ?

    So my Birthday was this last Saturday & I went out of state to visit family, but my boyfriend stayed back home. All day Saturday my boyfriend did not text me nor did he call me until 1030pm. I was a bit bummed out because we are on good terms so I don't understand why he even did that ? I know he was on his phone cause he is enslaved to that device. Any tips or advice anybody could give me ?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    31,591
    Gender
    Male
    What are you worried about? That he was cheating while you went away or that he didn't give your birthday that much thought? What was his explanation?
    Originally Posted by Vienna3294
    my Birthday was this last Saturday & I went out of state to visit family, but my boyfriend stayed back home. he call me until 1030pm. I know he was on his phone cause he is enslaved to that device.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Age
    53
    Posts
    10,307
    Gender
    Female
    To me this sounds like someone who texted before bed, to make sure he connected with you. Before then, his mind was thinking What can I do today? You were not available so he didn't interrupt you.

    You know him better than we do. Since you were out of town to visit with others, that is my guess.

  4. #4
    No my boyfriend is loyal and I don't have trust issues with him. Just simply the that he didnt put much thought , even when I got home nothing was said to me besides get up and let's go eat 🙄.

  5.  

  6. #5
    I mean I wasn't busy whatsoever, I am a txt away, but he is my boyfriend this is the second year he has done this . Im just feeling like he doesn't care ? He got our daughter a gift and me nothing not tryna sound materialistic, but I mean a card would of been nice .

  7. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    13
    What was his family upbringing like? Were his parents very warm towards him?
    Sometimes, the way ppl act is a lot bc of how their families acted. Perhaps his parents never made a big deal out of a birthday and that is why he did that. Lmk , id love to help. Also, around how old is he?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    31,591
    Gender
    Male
    How long have you been dating? Next time plan something such as a babysitter, dinner out, whatever. Was your daughter with you? Was he invited to your parents? Why didn't he go with you?
    Originally Posted by Vienna3294
    this is the second year he has done this .
    He got our daughter a gift and me nothing.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,121
    Gender
    Female
    In the book The Five Love Languages, it speaks of how people mainly show love in one main way and people value one of the languages far above the rest, not to say the others don't also come into play: Physical Affection, Verbal Affirmation-Compliments/Praise, Acts of Service (chores, picking up items you need from the store, etc), Quality Time, Gifts.

    Does he regularly give you any of these? If so, don't nag him about what he didn't do on this birthday. He did call you, even though it wasn't the time frame you expected. But if you want something on your next birthday, when you're in a mellow mood, ask for what you want because people aren't mind readers and communication is key, i.e., "Birthdays are important to me. On my next one, it would really make me feel special if you pick a card out for me." When you ask for something in a positive way, instead of blaming a person and making them feel bad, if they care they will comply.

    Because what you value, he might not and vice versa. It's important to know each of your love languages because you might not be meeting his either. To get a clue of what he values, ask, "What do I do that makes you feel the most loved?"

    I asked my husband this, and he said it was when I scratched his back. Something so simple. But I also know he loves compliments about his cooking and yard work. His natural way of showing love to me is Acts of Service, which I appreciate, but my top love language is physical affection, which he is okay at but sometimes when I feel it's lacking I ask him for what I want, and that's okay. It might not be as romantic as a fairy tale, but life is about reality, not la-la-land where everything is perfection. Take care.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    10,062
    I always wait until the evenings to call my wife if she happens to be with family or friends back home during a special occasion. We see each other every day otherwise, so I don't have a problem assuming she's enjoying her time with them during the much rarer time she's got with them. Doesn't really matter if you weren't-- I don't see why he'd assume you weren't or that he didn't simply have his own hands full like he would. If you catch yourself assuming the worst of your partner, that's something to explore, but I'd try not to isolate incidents and pick petty battles.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,024
    What does "normal" even mean? Don't fall into a trap of comparing him to some ideal rom-com fairy tale of a relationship... those don't exist in real life. Instead, reflect on the other things that he does for you and if you feel you need more... ask for it in a way that is not combative and leaves it open to appreciating his efforts.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •