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Thread: Is it normal ?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member charity's Avatar
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    Personally I do think it is a little out of the of the ordinary for ones partner to not get in contact until 10.30pm the day of one's birthday. I've never heard of anyone doing that.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Just curious.
    Would you do feel the same way if it was her birthday?

    I too wouldn't intrude on someone's family time. I might not even have texted at all, rather allowing them the option of reaching out if they felt like it.
    But acknowledging a birthday would be a different thing.
    But he did acknowledge it. He called her that night. That's how it sounded to me, at least.

    I mean, I might get it if she'd actually been around that day, they did nothing for her birthday, and he plops into bed with her at 10:30pm and asks how she enjoyed her birthday, but lady decided to spend the day out of town with her family. It's more than a fair enough choice, but I see no cause for offense when he allows her just that and calls her once any festivities could be reasonably assumed over to have his time wishing her a happy birthday and hearing about her day.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    But he did acknowledge it. He called her that night. That's how it sounded to me, at least.

    I mean, I might get it if she'd actually been around that day, they did nothing for her birthday, and he plops into bed with her at 10:30pm and asks how she enjoyed her birthday, but lady decided to spend the day out of town with her family. It's more than a fair enough choice, but I see no cause for offense when he allows her just that and calls her once any festivities could be reasonably assumed over to have his time wishing her a happy birthday and hearing about her day.
    This was my first thought as well. OP you were out of town celebrating your b-day with family and friends. So he called you when he reasonably thought you'd be finally free and he wouldn't be interrupting your trip and activities and time with fam and friends.

    Overall, if you want a certain acknowledgement, you do have to communicate that to people and clue them in. Some people are big into b-days, some aren't. It's not a universal thing where everyone feels and acts the same way. As already pointed out, if you communicate and then still get ignored, then you have a problem. Otherwise, you are asking your SO to have some kind of ESP powers and....well...people don't have that.

  4. #24
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    I have nothing more to add other than I am very much like your bf, birthdays and holidays don't mean much to me.

    Not sure why, my dad was the same, having grown up poor in Lithuania barely enough money for food let alone gifts or cards, so perhaps I take after him.

    However, being raised in America, I realize birthdays and holidays are a huge deal for many, and I actually enjoy bringing joy to others, especially my partner, on his birthday and holidays.

    Even though I don't need that same attention back.

    Last year, when my birthday rolled around in June, my bf and I had been dating three months.

    I did not even mention to him it was my birthday, the day came and went with no acknowledgment from him, since he didn't even know.

    That's how unimportant they are to me, your bf sounds the same.

    Does he know how important they are to you?

    Communicate.

    Edit: And yeah your bf did call, later. Did he acknowledge, wish you a happy birthday then?

    Try and focus on what he does give, rather than what he doesn't.

    That's what I do, I am much happier that way, and in turn so is my bf!!
    Last edited by katrina1980; 03-08-2019 at 11:24 AM.

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  6. #25
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    I usually don't realise it's my birthday until someone texts me wishing me a good one.

    You went away for your birthday without him. Leaving your partner to go celebrate your birthday elsewhere, doesn't communicate that it is important for you to hear some grand birthday gesture from him, or even that it's important to you. It communicates I want to go spend my birthday with other people or I want to go hang out with my friends and family.

    You're not a child whose parent didn't show up to their birthday party. I don't see what the big deal is.

  7. 03-08-2019, 09:10 PM
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    Trolling

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