Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234
Results 31 to 36 of 36

Thread: Iím not wrong, am I?

  1. #31
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,024
    Originally Posted by Metaltwin70
    'But you came onto a message board to ask advice'
    ____________

    So let me get this straight. You really think people come to boards like these to let a bunch of complete strangers million miles away determine the course of their lives? Come on. Most posters know exactly what they need to/will do in their specific situation, excluding the 15-17 y olds. Most posters simply want to talk, vent, and YES, get validation for their feelings. Advice board my ****. This is a place to talk. On the guise of 'what should I do'. People come here to be listened to, not lectured, ridiculed or judged - which many regular posters here tend to do. I am not at all surprised by the OP's reaction.

    OP, I am very happy to hear that you've ended things with him. A relationship that's been on and off for 10 years is not what you want to be part of. I do wish you all the best.
    Yep lots do come hear hoping that the other members will just listen, pat them on the back and say ďthere thereĒ... and lots of others genuinely come here for advice, objective opinions, and tough love.

    At the end of the day as much as the OP feels judged she is also passing judgment on everyone here and assuming that our lives are perfect which is most definitely NOT the case.

    OP I am sorry it didnít work out with your BF and hope you find happiness with someone that appreciates you.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    3,638
    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Right on!!!
    Really? Youíve never given anyone on here constructive criticism and advice? Really? Like really?

    Well I guess if this is the route weíre being guilted into following many many many people will be stuck going in circles because all we can do now as responders is pat people on the head since they already know what they want to do, they just want someone on the internet to tell them they is good they is kind they is special. Geez Louise I canít...

    Metal is being her typical self and the original poster was rude to people who took the time to give her advice. The whole thing didnít even need a response from me it was so ridiculous

    But to clarify -


    Originally Posted by maew
    At the end of the day as much as the OP feels judged she is also passing judgment on everyone here and assuming that our lives are perfect which is most definitely NOT the case.
    This is why I responded to the OPer, I actually didnít even give her advice originally. I was simply backing up the same people who were kind enough to take time out of their days to help me in multiple situations. The advice I was given was honest and at times critical, and honestly not always welcomed, but I needed to hear it because at the end of the day, I didnít want to stay stuck, I didnít want to stay unhealthy and if I felt something was off and I wanted outside perspective Iím glad posters werenít afraid to tell me their honest outside perspective. Iím not going to deny people that because some random poster has her own ideas of right and wrong. I stand by every word I responded to the OPer and I hope for her sake she grows up, she canít live her life as an adult expecting others to save her, itís a very reckless and irresponsible way to live and she was told that by many wise posters and if she doesnít like being told reality, sheís going to have a hard time.

    Sorrynotsorry

    And Iím not sorry that the OPer broke up with her boyfriend. He sounded like a jerk, he would pinch her boobs to wake her up and when she asked him to stop he ignored her. Thatís abusive. It sounded like a horrible situation and Iím glad the OPer got out. Although Iím surprised this is what caused her to walk away.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    12,653
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Metaltwin70
    'But you came onto a message board to ask advice'
    ____________

    So let me get this straight. You really think people come to boards like these to let a bunch of complete strangers million miles away determine the course of their lives? Come on. Most posters know exactly what they need to/will do in their specific situation, excluding the 15-17 y olds. Most posters simply want to talk, vent, and YES, get validation for their feelings. Advice board my ****. This is a place to talk. On the guise of 'what should I do'. People come here to be listened to, not lectured, ridiculed or judged - which many regular posters here tend to do. I am not at all surprised by the OP's reaction.

    OP, I am very happy to hear that you've ended things with him. A relationship that's been on and off for 10 years is not what you want to be part of. I do wish you all the best.
    Enabling dialogue does Nothing but perpetuate why they came here in the first place. Have you noticed that the one's that just want to vent often repeat the same mistakes?

    FWIW: I'm not at all surprised by the Op's reaction either. It's quite common a thing for those that just want to be coddled and not have to do the hard stuff in order to grow.

    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Well I guess if this is the route weíre being guilted
    No guilt when intentions are to help, not coddle. There is zero cruel intentions that I can gather from any regular poster on this site.
    Last edited by ThatwasThen; 03-11-2019 at 07:51 PM.

  4. #34
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,206
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Really? Youíve never given anyone on here constructive criticism and advice? Really? Like really?
    Of course I have. But one thing I hope I never do is lecture, badger, or berate someone for not taking my adviceówhich is what I see a lot of on this board, well-intentioned or not. Iíd rather make the effort to understand a person than shut them down or shame them.

  5.  

  6. #35
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    3,638
    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Of course I have. But one thing I hope I never do is lecture, badger, or berate someone for not taking my adviceówhich is what I see a lot of on this board, well-intentioned or not. Iíd rather make the effort to understand a person than shut them down or shame them.
    Well then we will have to agree to disagree then because not once did I see any posters forcing this poster to take their advice nor did I ever badger or berate someone for not taking my advice, which again was never even given on this post prior to her lashing out. If I'm giving the impression that I'm demanding anything, I assure you that was never my intention.

    Again, I stand by posters who told her she really shouldnt be depending on an on again off again boyfriend for her financial needs. She didnt want to hear it, that doesnt make it any less true and she needed to hear it.

    Her expectation to be told blindly "yes hes wrong" isn't advice. And thats what you were agreeing with was it not? A post that stated people dont come here for advice because they already have all the answers?

    I come here for advice, the good the bad the ugly, so I give it and honestly I've always respected your advice because it includes the good the bad and the ugly. I'm sorry you don't feel the same.

    It is what it is though, I have plenty of kudos, I have had many people DM me for advice they are too afraid to ask for, I have had people personally thank me for words said and I know I would never say anything to anyone here I wouldn't say to their face.

  7. 03-11-2019, 10:06 PM

  8. #36
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    14,486
    Thread has run its course.

Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •