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Thread: Iím not wrong, am I?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Unfortunately being on/off and him ripping into you with stuff such as "what did you think was gonna happen to you"...is more of a red flag than whether or not he lends you money.

    If someone is abusive or repeatedly dumps you like this independence is your best option for a happier life including meeting a better man.
    I totally agree. Also, usually on/off relationships dynamics don't turn into healthy and stable relationships. I'm not saying that's impossible, but the way he seems to treat the OP doesn't show that he's at that stage and if 10 years he's like this, I don't see it changing any soon. Better not depend on someone like this if you really have to depend/count on someone.

  2. 03-08-2019, 09:05 PM
    Reason
    Trolling

  3. #22
    Bronze Member LootieTootie's Avatar
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    Well if you have to ask if this guy is worth your time, you probably know the answer to that already. But it seems like you are quite dependent on people's say or just in general.

  4. #23
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Miranda230
    Wow, you people are very judgemental and mustíve never made a mistake in your lives ever. Must be awesome to be so perfect. I had a job lined up at a new company but theyíre having problems with licensing and so forth. Still have the job lined up for when they sort their problems out. Sometimes things donít work out the way you want them to and how youre promised. Must be nice to always have things work out for you. My job was unsafe and causing health problems but I really do like how you people jump the gun and start pointing fingers. You must have great lives, sitting on your computers commenting on other peopleís problems. Iím sure you have successful, fulfilling relationships.
    Thank you for the responses from the people not ASSuming what is actually going here because after all, Iím sure thatís what this site is supposed to be about; help and guidance for those seeking it.
    I do, thank you. After you becoming so defensive over hearing things that you didn't want to hear but are said to help you gain your independence and not have to rely on a part-time boyfriend for money, it is understandable why he is unwilling to lend you money.

    I'm sorry you didn't learn anything from the site. Hopefully the lesson your p/t bf is giving you will help you to take responsibility for yourself and your choices in the future.

    Saving money for a rainy day is a good place to start.
    Getting rid of part time on and off boyfriends is another.

    Good luck going forth.

  5. #24
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    Thank you to the people actually trying to help, I really do appreciate it. Sometimes a person just needs to get things off their chest and to hear that they are making the right decision even though they already know, doesnít mean theyíre dependent. I wasnít relying on him, I asked and he answered and thatís that. I am looking for work elsewhere and taking care of myself just like I always have. And yes, I have ended things with him and not because of money. That was just the straw that broke the camels back. Thank you again to the good people on here, the rest of you shouldnít be on a site like this.

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  7. #25
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Miranda230
    Thank you to the people actually trying to help, I really do appreciate it. Sometimes a person just needs to get things off their chest and to hear that they are making the right decision even though they already know, doesnít mean theyíre dependent. I wasnít relying on him, I asked and he answered and thatís that. I am looking for work elsewhere and taking care of myself just like I always have. And yes, I have ended things with him and not because of money. That was just the straw that broke the camels back. Thank you again to the good people on here, the rest of you shouldnít be on a site like this.
    But you came onto a message board to ask advice

    This is not a validation board. Although some poster will do that because they have their own issues, most of us as TWT pointed out have been there done that got the T-shirt and are giving you advice you need to hear. May not want to hear but need to hear.

    The level of a posters maturity always shows when they reply passive agreeasively with ď thanks for those who helped meĒ blindly telling you, you made the right decision? Thatís your girlfriends job. You guys all get together and have a great bashing session about all this. Thatís my advice to you because clearly a healthy relationship was never your goal.

  8. #26
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    'But you came onto a message board to ask advice'
    ____________

    So let me get this straight. You really think people come to boards like these to let a bunch of complete strangers million miles away determine the course of their lives? Come on. Most posters know exactly what they need to/will do in their specific situation, excluding the 15-17 y olds. Most posters simply want to talk, vent, and YES, get validation for their feelings. Advice board my ****. This is a place to talk. On the guise of 'what should I do'. People come here to be listened to, not lectured, ridiculed or judged - which many regular posters here tend to do. I am not at all surprised by the OP's reaction.

    OP, I am very happy to hear that you've ended things with him. A relationship that's been on and off for 10 years is not what you want to be part of. I do wish you all the best.

  9. #27
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    My take on this? I am surprised that he has not proposed marriage after 10 years. That to me would be a huge red flag and would show how committed he was.

    Secondly, after 10 years I do feel partners should take care of one another, even financially. It's 10 years for god sakes not 10 months. And this cheapskate can't help you out?
    That's where I would say with a "friend" like that, who needs enemies? He's not exactly a friend either, a partner is meant to be more. Someone you can count on and hope has your back..YES EVEN FINANCIALLY. If he has the means to help you, why wouldn't he?

    Miranda, I think he's been very honest with you in letting you know he has nothing much in a relationship to offer you. He mentioned money but even that has fallen short.

    Bottom line is, you can't count on him and he is not offering to be a husband. I think this clearly tells you that the sun has set on this relationship and it's time to move on.
    I'm sorry he has been such a disappointment.

  10. #28
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    ..........
    Originally Posted by metaltwin70
    'but you came onto a message board to ask advice'
    ____________

    so let me get this straight. You really think people come to boards like these to let a bunch of complete strangers million miles away determine the course of their lives? Come on. Most posters know exactly what they need to/will do in their specific situation, excluding the 15-17 y olds. Most posters simply want to talk, vent, and yes, get validation for their feelings. Advice board my ****. This is a place to talk. On the guise of 'what should i do'. People come here to be listened to, not lectured, ridiculed or judged - which many regular posters here tend to do. I am not at all surprised by the op's reaction.

    Op, i am very happy to hear that you've ended things with him. A relationship that's been on and off for 10 years is not what you want to be part of. I do wish you all the best.
    k

  11. #29
    Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Metaltwin70
    'But you came onto a message board to ask advice'
    ____________

    So let me get this straight. You really think people come to boards like these to let a bunch of complete strangers million miles away determine the course of their lives? Come on. Most posters know exactly what they need to/will do in their specific situation, excluding the 15-17 y olds. Most posters simply want to talk, vent, and YES, get validation for their feelings. Advice board my ****. This is a place to talk. On the guise of 'what should I do'. People come here to be listened to, not lectured, ridiculed or judged - which many regular posters here tend to do. I am not at all surprised by the OP's reaction.

    OP, I am very happy to hear that you've ended things with him. A relationship that's been on and off for 10 years is not what you want to be part of. I do wish you all the best.
    I don't know that you can talk for all posters who come here. Some really DO want advice, and not everyone who comes here already has figured out what he/she is going to do. Of course this is 'a place to talk,' but talking about a subject doesn't always solve it. Hearing various points of views from people who have had more life experience can have a great influence on your thinking

  12. #30
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Metaltwin70
    So let me get this straight. You really think people come to boards like these to let a bunch of complete strangers million miles away determine the course of their lives? Come on. Most posters know exactly what they need to/will do in their specific situation, excluding the 15-17 y olds. Most posters simply want to talk, vent, and YES, get validation for their feelings. Advice board my ****. This is a place to talk. On the guise of 'what should I do'. People come here to be listened to, not lectured, ridiculed or judged - which many regular posters here tend to do.
    Right on!!!

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