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Thread: Dating &Business mixing

  1. #1
    Gold Member mandeelove's Avatar
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    Dating &Business mixing

    If you are a business owner would you hire your significant other to work for you if they were looking for employment in that exact field ? Or would you rather hire someone whom you don't know ?

    I'm in this situation now. I am switching careers and the career I'm aiming for is exactly the business my current boyfriend is in. He is looking for 2 employees. So I ran this by him but he will not hire me due to pleasure vs business rule in his mind. I keep going around seeking employment but nothing has happened yet. I see it as a win win if he hired me. I need a job in that field and he needs a reliable worker. He doesn't see it this way.

    What does everyone think about hiring a
    s/o . Like I said he owns the business.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    I would never hire friends, family or significant others to work for me or with me. In fact I avoid even referring them at the company I work for now. I have very clear professional boundaries with the people I work with and having a friend/family/so there would make that much more difficult.

  3. #3
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    I presume it's this same man:
    [Register to see the link]

    He said some pretty harsh things to you according to what you posted in that thread.

    If he's already said he wouldn't hire you , and you know how he feels about your earning potential, do you think you can somehow change his mind? And why would you want to? Sounds like he'd be a tyrant to work for.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I own a small business and I would never hire family or friends. My daughter runs her own massage therapy clinic and wanted to hire someone to answer the phone, do a bit of computer entry, do the laundry and some cleaning. About 15 hours a week. Another RMT in her clinic suggested his girlfriend would be a good fit. Daughter discussed the job with this girl, the boyfriend said he'd stay out of it, that it was between daughter and this girl. Well this guy stuck his nose in where it wasnt wanted or needed, the girl wanted to change the hours, the guy decided the girl would be the Office Manager when really it's basic clerical work, and it's not up to him, my daughter owns the business. Lots of arguments happened, daughter did not hire the girl in the end, people are angry. None of this should or would have happened if daughter had hired a stranger off the street.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    I am not a business owner but I would never want to work in a friend's or partner's business. Imo, it would be a recipe for disaster.

  7. 03-07-2019, 12:25 AM

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    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I presume it's this same man:
    [Register to see the link]

    He said some pretty harsh things to you according to what you posted in that thread.

    If he's already said he wouldn't hire you , and you know how he feels about your earning potential, do you think you can somehow change his mind? And why would you want to? Sounds like he'd be a tyrant to work for.
    You said he didn't care about you as a person and only cared about your income. Why are you still with him? You seem fundamentally compatible.

    As to him not hiring you, I wouldn't hire/want to work with boyfriends, friends or family, it usually doesn't work well. Things get can messy when people date co-workers. Why get into that? It'd be one thing if it was a big company and you'd be working in a different location from your boyfriend and never worked with you nor was involved in any way, but that doesn't seem the case, it feels to me that he'd be directly involved.

  9. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Both are a very bad idea. Applying for a job with a bf/gf or hiring a bf/gf. Look elsewhere and do not go through him. He does not owe you a job. Immediately stop pressuring him with your sales pitch dressed up as 'win-win'. It's a nightmare for you as much as for him.

    Get your resume together, set up an excellent LinkedIn profile and put some effort into finding a job rather than expecting a bf to just hand you one. Stand on your own two feet and your own credentials.
    Originally Posted by mandeelove
    I am switching careers and the career I'm aiming for is exactly the business my current boyfriend is in. I ran this by him but he will not hire me due to pleasure vs business rule in his mind. I see it as a win win if he hired me.He doesn't see it this way.

  10. #8
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    I've never owned a business and honestly if a position opened in my place of work where I would be working closely with a friend it would not be my first choice (obviously she could apply if she knew about it) - I just wouldn't want to mix that way. I actually did think of applying for a job at my husband's company, way back but we would have had minimal contact -totally different departments and any contact would have been random/indirect. We would never want to supervise each other in any formal work. We help each other with our related work and I certainly would work with him informally for various reasons but never in a formal way. And we work well together just wouldn't risk it as a formal matter. Also he is just your boyfriend so if you break up -which is more likely in your situation than a divorce (and with a divorce you'd probably own part of the business, etc) then what?

  11. #9
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    It's up to your boyfriend. He gets to run his business the way he wants to run his business. It's his show.

    Can business owners hire family and/or friends and remain successful?

    Sure.

    My boyfriend's family owns a business, and four of his immediate family members, including himself, work there. It's been a successful business for more than 25 years.

    I currently work for a mid-sized family-run business. A father, his two sons, and a fourth partner who is not a member of the family. That business has been successful for 40 years.

    However, in this latter scenario, I do see some circumstances where the hiring of friends is becoming an issue.

  12. #10
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I presume it's this same man:
    [Register to see the link]

    He said some pretty harsh things to you according to what you posted in that thread.

    If he's already said he wouldn't hire you , and you know how he feels about your earning potential, do you think you can somehow change his mind? And why would you want to? Sounds like he'd be a tyrant to work for.
    If it's the same guy, there's no way I'd be dating him much less working for him. If it's not the same guy, I'd avoid working for him to avoid creating the same kind of friction that can transfer from job to home or home to job. That could turn into 24 hour misery that follows wherever you go.

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