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Thread: Dating &Business mixing

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    It's up to your boyfriend. He gets to run his business the way he wants to run his business. It's his show.

    Can business owners hire family and/or friends and remain successful?

    Sure.

    My boyfriend's family owns a business, and four of his immediate family members, including himself, work there. It's been a successful business for more than 25 years.

    I currently work for a mid-sized family-run business. A father, his two sons, and a fourth partner who is not a member of the family. That business has been successful for 40 years.

    However, in this latter scenario, I do see some circumstances where the hiring of friends is becoming an issue.
    Yes good point! My friend's daughter is married to a guy who worked for the family business starting at age 14. He's now 25. Last year there were huge disagreements and he has now started a competing business with one of his brothers. It's been very rough going including legal drama too. I am not at all judging his family business or his decision to work there (after all he was basically a kid) but it's an example of it being far more dramatic if things go sour.

    Maybe your boyfriend knows others in the business who are looking to hire?

  2. #12
    Gold Member mandeelove's Avatar
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    Thanks for all your opinions so far and examples. I can see your point of view and how it could cause tension.

    I am switching careers so I was seeing it as a good thing to try it out in my boyfriend's company. If it works well and the career path was for me, I'd go onto another company. I figured it was best to learn under him. He's a good boss. Before I fully commit to this field, I wanted to gain my skill there. And maybe it would be great and he'd see this as good.

    He won't try it though. He's totally against it so I will continue to look for a job elsewhere. I'm applying for jobs in companies just like his and he knows.

  3. #13
    Gold Member mandeelove's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mandeelove
    Thanks for all your opinions so far and examples. I can see your point of view and how it could cause tension.

    I am switching careers so I was seeing it as a good thing to try it out in my boyfriend's company. If it works well and the career path was for me, I'd go onto another company. I figured it was best to learn under him. He's a good boss. Before I fully commit to this field, I wanted to gain my skill there. And maybe it would be great and he'd see this as good.

    He won't try it though. He's totally against it so I will continue to look for a job elsewhere. I'm applying for jobs in companies just like his and he knows.
    And Yes the company is 3 or 4 people so it's direct contact.

  4. #14
    Gold Member mandeelove's Avatar
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    I don't know if this matters,but he has hired friends of friends,cousins, a brother of another current employee, and his own sister at one point. So it's not that he won't hire anyone close. He actually only hires people who were referred to him but when it comes to me,he won't hire me. I guess because we are dating. But that's the annoying part. He doesn't hire full blown strangers.

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  6. #15
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    Mandee, he is your boyfriend. To even consider working for him, which would make him your "employer," is a massively absurd idea. Not quite sure what you're thinking.

    I mean just think about what having him as your direct boss/superior would mean?

    Performance evaluations, salary increases, criticisms if/when making a mistake, just to name a few! Your relationship would never survive that, guarantee.

    Frankly, given all the issues you've experienced with him over the years, I cannot believe you're still dating him, but that's your business.

    But w/r/t working for him, in an employer/employee situation -- again not quite sure what you're thinking, really really bad idea!
    Last edited by katrina1980; 03-07-2019 at 10:54 AM.

  7. #16
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    I would not do this because if anything happens in the relationship, you could lose your job - even if its by your doing because the dynamic gets weird. He could also treat you less fairly because he wants to not be seen as playing favorites. You could also be reluctant to leave the relationship if you needed to because of your job. Hiring a brother is different. It is not a conditional relationship. Hiring friends - if the friend is honestly qualified and especially if they are not a close friend -- it changes the dynamic of the friendship. But then again, a friend is not sleeping with the boss.

    I *did* work for/with an ex and would advise against it completely. I would say we stayed together to keep things going in the business and then things got better between us, and then when he left me i was not only out of a job, but no one in the area in that business would hire me because who knows if i was actually qualified - it made it look like i wasn't due to our relationship and he badmouthed me. I would find a job on my own. If one day you marry, and have experience in the field at that point, maybe you run it as a family business, but if you decide the relationship ultimately must end, you are not stuck with two losses. Also, did you change fields partly because he was in that field?

  8. #17
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    I have owned two businesses. One with my mom in my 20’s. She “pushed “ huge that she was the major partner and I got shafted all the time.

    I own a business now and hired my best friend. We have no issues whatsoever. But she is very aware this is my business. It has not interfered with our friendship so far.

    Would I work with my husband? A thousand times , NOPE. He is far too frustrating in that aspect. I would have to kill him.

    Would I work for an abusive SO? Hell, no. Usually working for or with family or friends is an unmitigated disaster.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This makes perfect sense for him as well as you. Since he said no, all you can do is the much better option of finding other opportunities.
    Originally Posted by mandeelove
    Ihe won't hire me. I guess because we are dating.

  10. #19
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    I own two companies, and have over the two decades, hired over 7 friends, currently work with some family, and hired other family friends, and friend's recommendations successfully. They all go through an interview process, and the job is only given if they a great fit. We don't just give a job to anyone. And it works well because they work in a department someone else is managing.

    Have your boyfriend as a direct supervisor or one above, EEEEKKKK.

  11. #20
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    Especially bad idea if this is a new career path for you - don't learn from him - he can be a resource as you learn elsewhere -way too much of a burden/situation to impose on him. My husband didn't even teach me how to drive and he is type B lol (yes, he helped me a LOT but we left it to professional instructors including when it came time for me to take the road test). I agree with your boyfriend's decision wholeheartedly.

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