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Thread: LDR ex completely abandoned me for a new guy

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    My question had already been answered.
    Ah, now I'm curious what the question was

  2. #22
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    How your were able to communicate if she didn't speak English.

  3. #23
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    I finally read the entire thread. This girl is not nice, nor your friend. Block and delete. I also suggest dating local.

    You deserve a nicer girl!

  4. #24
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    Things like these happen. Relationships like the one you had you just have to say "Okay" and you move on from. There doesn't have to be blame, reason, explanation, or anything like that. Sometimes relationships just end.
    what you do is learn from this, you can hold your head up high and say you tried. You gave it a shot and it didn't work out. You can move on from this with no regrets. Now what you do is dust yourself off and you go out and you can find someone else who is closer, speaks your language and better for you.
    This is a learning lesson for you but in the end, you will be better for it. Someone is out there for you.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Take control and simply delete and block her from all social media and messaging apps. Do not keep her in control by asking her this.
    Originally Posted by MisterMime93
    tell her to never contact me again.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Take control and simply delete and block her from all social media and messaging apps. Do not keep her in control by asking her this.
    I blocked her everywhere but WhatsApp. My reasoning is that you can still see pictures and the number of blocked contacts, and I'd rather completely forget about her asap. So yeah she could still contact me on WhatsApp because of this.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by MisterMime93
    I blocked her everywhere but WhatsApp. My reasoning is that you can still see pictures and the number of blocked contacts, and I'd rather completely forget about her asap. So yeah she could still contact me on WhatsApp because of this.
    That is some convoluted excuse making there lol.

    I think you might still be hoping that things don't work out with the new guy and she comes back to you. True?

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    That is some convoluted excuse making there lol.

    I think you might still be hoping that things don't work out with the new guy and she comes back to you. True?
    I promise you it's not an excuse. That is actually the reason why I didn't block her there. It hurts seeing her profile pictures update with him and stuff like that.

    At the same time, I do kind of want her to contact me. But not to get back together, I would never trust her again after this. If she does contact me, it'll feel like an inside victory I guess. I probably won't reply, or reply saying that it's over or whatever.

    I know it's hard to believe me, but what I'm saying is the truth. I don't know why I would lie on an anonymous account.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MisterMime93
    I promise you it's not an excuse. That is actually the reason why I didn't block her there.

    If she does contact me, it'll feel like an inside victory I guess. I probably won't reply, or reply saying that it's over or whatever.
    Here's the problem with this type of thinking. To say that you would feel victory if she reached out suggests you've tied your selfworth to her. You are allowing her to define it. She reaches out = you must still have some value.
    Don't do that. Just don't. She dumped you. She doesn't get the privilege of being a part of your life anymore.

    From everything I read, it seems like you are two decent people who ultimately were not a good match for each other.
    I get that it makes things feel better if we can villain-ize them, but maturity teaches us otherwise.

    In order to learn anything here, you have to take responsibility for making the decision to travel and spend time with someone who broke off a romantic relationship with you and wanted to be your friend. Yes, she could have handled the timing better because it appears she was becoming attached to someone while you two were still a couple. But you suspected it anyway and still made some decisions that put yourself in harms way. Own that and learn to not do it again.

    Be done. Be mature. Take the high road and don't wait for the opportunity if she contacts you so you can stick it to her. That's what immature people do. Don't be that guy. You are better than that. You handle your end maturely, it will shape you in years to come.

    And no, her contacting you doesn't make you special. It just makes you someone who will give her attention, good, bad or otherwise. When you react to someone, you give yourself away that you are still attached.

    The best and last final word is silence.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Here's the problem with this type of thinking. To say that you would feel victory if she reached out suggests you've tied your selfworth to her. You are allowing her to define it. She reaches out = you must still have some value.
    Don't do that. Just don't. She dumped you. She doesn't get the privilege of being a part of your life anymore.

    From everything I read, it seems like you are two decent people who ultimately were not a good match for each other.
    I get that it makes things feel better if we can villain-ize them, but maturity teaches us otherwise.

    In order to learn anything here, you have to take responsibility for making the decision to travel and spend time with someone who broke off a romantic relationship with you and wanted to be your friend. Yes, she could have handled the timing better because it appears she was becoming attached to someone while you two were still a couple. But you suspected it anyway and still made some decisions that put yourself in harms way. Own that and learn to not do it again.

    Be done. Be mature. Take the high road and don't wait for the opportunity if she contacts you so you can stick it to her. That's what immature people do. Don't be that guy. You are better than that. You handle your end maturely, it will shape you in years to come.

    And no, her contacting you doesn't make you special. It just makes you someone who will give her attention, good, bad or otherwise. When you react to someone, you give yourself away that you are still attached.

    The best and last final word is silence.
    You're right. Going over was a mistake. I realize that now, and that's a life lesson I'm glad to have had on my 19th already.

    She wanted to be friends, but she knew that if she and this guy would be a couple in the future, we couldn't be friends. So I'm thinking that it was a straight up lie to comfort me or something. But then again, why did she suggest me coming over if that was the case? It's just so confusing.

    I didn't suspect anything before coming over by the way. I just figured the issues we had to overcome in the relationship were too big, and she didn't want to progress too far or something. Might still be the case, but it was probably boosted by the other guy being there.

    Everything you said; you're completely right. I just have an attachment issue. I seem to have difficulty dropping people that were once close to me. It makes me wonder if the other person still thinks about me, which I absolutely shouldn't think about.

    And the worst is, I also know I'll find someone else in the future.. but I just miss the times with her. On the other end, I don't want to give her an inch anymore because of how she treated and lied to me.

    I don't know if I make sense. But trust me, I know you're right about everything you said. Moving on is difficult when I'm reminded of her, however. And I get reminded of her easily, when I play a game we used to do together and stuff like that..

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