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Thread: LDR ex completely abandoned me for a new guy

  1. #11
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    Hey OP, Like others have said good chance it would not have worked in the long run due to the distance but the facts are the facts. She has shown her true colours. You have now met the person she really is. You should use this as a harsh lesson learnt. Do not wait around for any kind of contact from her as a friend or whatever. You deserve better, it sucks but at your age you will bounce back from this and meet someone better. Stick to someone fairly local.

    Regarding the coldness etc, thats just how some people are when they break up. Nothing you can do about it and certainly not worrying about.

  2. #12
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    She also said that she'd like to become friends again after she broke up with me.
    The friendzone kiss of death.

    She has moved on to this other guy.

    Block her, delete her email etc.

    LDRs are hard, but if you have a shred of respect and decency you end it before you go with someone else.

    She has completely trashed you, so block her and move on.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MisterMime93

    Anyways, 3 weeks after the breakup, I stayed over for a week. I already had the tickets, and she said she didn't mind me coming. She also said that she'd like to become friends again after she broke up with me.
    .
    I got a little stuck here.

    She broke up with you and yet you still traveled to stay with her and ultimately were surprised that things went sideways.

    She told you straight up that you two could be friends. You went hoping for something different.
    It's ok to be hopeful, but at the same time you need to know if you can handle the risk.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by ninjabib
    Hey OP, Like others have said good chance it would not have worked in the long run due to the distance but the facts are the facts. She has shown her true colours. You have now met the person she really is. You should use this as a harsh lesson learnt. Do not wait around for any kind of contact from her as a friend or whatever. You deserve better, it sucks but at your age you will bounce back from this and meet someone better. Stick to someone fairly local.

    Regarding the coldness etc, thats just how some people are when they break up. Nothing you can do about it and certainly not worrying about.
    Yeah, you're right. I would never be able to trust her again. If she does contact me, I'll need to grow a pair and tell her to never contact me again. She doesn't deserve my love.

    The coldness is interesting, because she was so kind and lovely up until a point (day 2 when I was over) and then completely turned around. Don't know what triggered it. Interesting though.

    But yeah, she showed who she really is. I'm sure I'll find someone better.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    I got a little stuck here.

    She broke up with you and yet you still traveled to stay with her and ultimately were surprised that things went sideways.

    She told you straight up that you two could be friends. You went hoping for something different.
    It's ok to be hopeful, but at the same time you need to know if you can handle the risk.
    At the time, and I now realize it's stupid (I'm still learning in life), I honestly thought it was feasible that we could be friends. I also thought there was still a chance, as she let me come. I am surprised by how suddenly she turned, remember she was amazing up until day 2. And then she shifted.

    She is definitely not innocent. She let me do couple stuff to her, and I even explicitly asked her beforehand that if I do something she doesn't like, she needs to tell me. She never did.

    Lesson learned though. Under no circumstances should you ever be friends with an ex. It'll hurt for now, but this whole situation made me learn so much more about life.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MisterMime93
    The coldness is interesting, because she was so kind and lovely up until a point (day 2 when I was over) and then completely turned around. Don't know what triggered it. Interesting though.
    What likely triggered it is that she realized that you two were on entirely different pages. She gave you the green light to come out as a friends only basis. Yes, she was flirty, after all there is familiarity but when she realized you had a different expectation, she checked you back into place by going cold.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    What likely triggered it is that she realized that you two were on entirely different pages. She gave you the green light to come out as a friends only basis. Yes, she was flirty, after all there is familiarity but when she realized you had a different expectation, she checked you back into place by going cold.
    She was on and off, not entirely cold. Sometimes she would randomly come and join me on the couch and cuddle with me for hours. But then again other times she would sit in her room and completely ignore me, playing a videogame with this guy or doing something else. It wasn't that she was completely cold. Even on one of the final days we cuddled a lot, and did couple stuff.

  9. #18
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    ......................

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    ......................
    ................?

  11. #20
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    My question had already been answered.

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