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Thread: My ex texted me about a year later.

  1. #1
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    My ex texted me about a year later.

    I posted here a while back. But now a year has passed and Im in a new confusing situation. Back in Dec 2018 around Christmas my ex texted me saying she didnt want to be mad anymore and that she wanted to be friends but doesnt want to get back together. I agreed and we been just friends since. Shes dorming in college so we had a long distance relationship before things ended. We were HS sweethearts and were together for 4 years total. During the year of the break up she had a relationship with someone for a couple months after. It seemed like it was a rebound. But Im a bit confused about the situation im in now. A couple weeks ago we talked on the phone for a couple of hours and everything went well but at the end of the call she said something like "I dont want you to think that we are getting back together I just like to be friends". I agreed with her. But what confuses me is that she still snapchats me everyday and if i text her or talk to her in anyway she would reply with no hesation. She started to like some of the things I like too that she didnt like during our realtionship (anime being one of those things lol) I tested the waters to try and flirt with her and she told me to chill with doing that. I still like her and I want to see if we could start a new relationship slowly but with her being long distance I can only really see her in person during her breaks or holidays. How should I approach this to start to make her have feeling for me again with only using text and calling? I know somethings there or she wouldnt be talking to me everyday. Shes just not making it easy.

  2. #2
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    Sounds like she misses you but doesn't want you back and as you clearly still hold a candle for her this can only end badly for you. Potentially you may also be filling some kind of gap in her life but once the gaps filled you will become completely unimportant.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    You canít make her have feelings again, nor can she or anyone else.

    Sheís told you she doesnít want to get back together, sheís told you not to flirt with her.

    By continuing this ďfriendshipĒ with her, youíre setting yourself up to be broken up with again, this time as a friend. Youíre going to feel the heartbreak all over again.

    Block her number and focus on moving on with your life. Give your attention to ladies who are actually interested in dating you.

  4. #4
    Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I don't know why some women do that, but I can tell you that all she's doing is prolonging your agony. I never believe in this 'being friends' crap after a couple splits up, especially if one of the them doesn't want to break up. If she doesn't want to get back with you, she should respect you enough to let you go on with your life. Watching what she does on social media is just torturing yourself.

    My advise is to tell her that you don't wish to be friends, and it's too painful to be in communication with her. Then block her on everything and move on.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    You agreed to be her friend under false pretenses. She merely wants to be your friend, only.
    You are doing it in the hopes it evolves back into a relationship.
    You both have different agendas and you will ultimately be disappointed.

    You point out her frequency of contact as if it's an indication of possible interest, but from where I sit you are merely filling in the space a boyfriend otherwise would be until which time she finds another guy to have that daily contact with.

    Are you going to be ok when she finds a new boyfriend?
    If not, then you can't be her friend.
    I am sorry.

  7. #6
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    I mean we are cool but I do still have feelings so youíre right iím pretty just setting myself up for failure

  8. #7
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    Yep, say that you tried but it's not working for you as you want different things which makes frendship impossible, wish her all the best and block.

  9. #8
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    I ended a friendship where I clearly stated I wanted to be friends but he kept trying to convince me to date him. I stopped talking to him because it was clear he didn't hear me, he didn't respect my wishes and he didn't care about my feelings, only his own.

    Be careful; she may start to view you as someone who only cares about what HE wants and doesn't care what she has clearly stated she wants.

  10. #9
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    never looked it at it like that. luckily iím not one to push like that, iíve kept it as only friends and havenít pushed anything but itís a struggle for me. I like her friendship even if it doesnít lead to anything but I also know itís going to hurt in the end if she starts to date someone else.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Being friends with her will drive away potential romantic partners for you, because no self-respecting woman will date you when you have daily communication with an ex whom you still have a crush on.

    It pissed me off when a guy dumped me texted me 5 months later. It intruded on my closure and set me back to square one in trying to get to a mentally healthy place. Don't let other's goals override what is best for you. All the time and emotional energy you're investing in someone who dumped you could be spent pursuing someone new who wants you to stick around.

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