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Thread: Did I make a mistake? I think about him everyday

  1. #1
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    Did I make a mistake? I think about him everyday

    I had been talking to a guy. Talking everyday, going on dates, I had met a couple of his friends, he had met mine.

    This lasted 7 months. 3 months in, I asked him his intentions, he said he wasnít sure yet.

    7 months in, still no commitment so I walked away. I told him I was done.

    He didnít try to fix it. Itís been a month since we last spoke.

    I liked him a lot, but didnít want to get played, thatís why I walked away.

    I think about him a lot though, just wondering if I made a mistake by walking away.

  2. #2
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    Nope. You honestly stuck around too long for my tastes. If someone isn't interested in a committed relationship after 3 months, they never will be. You might still miss the guy and even be attracted to him, but if what you want is a serious monogamous involvement, he was never going to be your guy. Kudos to you for walking away when you realized the two of you were incompatible.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    No you didnt make a mistake, this guy wasnt as into you as you were in him. Time to let this go and move on.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    He's not trying to get a hold of you. He's not desperately missing you, promising commitment.

    That's all you need to know.

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  6. #5
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    Yeah I totally agree with the other posters. I think "he's just not that into you". I think he only wanted something casual and didn't see himself having a relationship with you. I think you really did the right thing by walking away.

  7. #6
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    You think of him everyday not because he is so special or perfect for you, but only because you could not control the outcome of the situation. Its just human nature to want another kick at the can in the hopes you can have it play out the way you want this time, but of course it won't because if his intentions were to invest long term in a relationship with you that's what you would be doing now. You will always have a twang of longing, when your mind wants to visit the "what ifs", but keep you feet on the ground and your level head level, if you want to find the right long term guy you must do just as you did, or else years will slip by invested in the wrong place. So, accept your heart strings are getting pulled every day right now but that's only because the heart is foolish and loves to play the "what if" game with your head.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by StrawberryCake

    He didnít try to fix it. Itís been a month since we last spoke.
    Is that why you ended it? Hoping he'd miss you so desperately, he would want to commit even though he wasn't ready to be quite that serious yet after only seven months? It kinda sounds like it tbh since you are second guessing your decision now.

    Anyway, if you did, you wouldn't be the first woman to employ this strategy to get a guy to commit, it rarely works.

    Why? Cause guys see that as manipulation.

    May I ask what you mean by "commitment"? Exclusive? Marriage? Many men hear the latter when women say "commitment."

    Or asking what his intentions are; franky I don't even know what that means, his "intentions." I would venture to guess neither did he! Hence his answer he's not sure yet.

    If you mean he would not agree to be exclusive after seven months, then I'm with ya, you did the right thing.

    My bf and I didnt become full exclusive for almost three months. We've been together a year, and still have not discussed "commitment"!

    Yet we both know we are, by virtue of our strong connection, mutual trust and respect, time spent together, but seriously who the hell knows what's gonna happen tomorrow?

    So we take it day by day, enjoy spending time and continue learning about each other and don't push.

    That's our attitude and our relationship/connection gets stronger every day!

    I dunno, from what you described seven months in, things seemed to be going very well! And it appeared you were exclusively dating, but again if I'm wrong and he would not even agree to that, then yeah you did the right thing!

    Can you clarify?

    Strawberry, if you are looking for some sort of guarantee, not gonna happen.

    There are never any guarantees, but if you love each other and trust each other, your relationship has the potential of lasting a lifetime!

    I know many others disagree with my (my bf's and my) approach to our relationship, but it just works so well for us this way.

    I am also curious why you believe he was "playing" you. You were talking every day, spending lots of time together, met each other's friends, this does not sound like a guy playing you. Not imo.

    So wondering where that came from.

    Do you by chance have trust issues from your past that you projected on to this guy? Petrified of getting hurt so you prematurely ended it, hoping he would fight for you? Fix it? Essentially proving his love and commitment?

    Not accusing. Just asking.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 03-06-2019 at 12:09 AM.

  9. #8
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    In your thread you posted in November you said he ghosted you.

    Sorry, but I don't think you made a mistake or were just being too impatient. He didn't and doesn't want the same things you do.

  10. #9
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    Strawberry, to clarify, my response was based on this thread alone, I have not read your history.

    I wish folks wouldn't start a brand new thread when posting about same guy, same relationship.

    It can get confusing.

  11. #10
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    I did not leave him hoping he would miss me and come back. I am usually very intentional in the things I do, and I left because I was not getting what I wanted. The reason for asking this question is because I started to wonder if I did not give him enough time to decide to be exclusive. Iím not sure how long it takes a guy to know.

    Just 7 months in, by commitment, I mean dating exclusively.

    By intentions I mean, everyone spends time with someone with an intention. It could be to hook up, to be in a relationship etc.

    I prefer to not assume exclusivity and have the discussion and both agree on it. It just clears up any grey areas and in general makes life easier.

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