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Thread: Did I make a mistake? I think about him everyday

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
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    7 months and no exclusivity? In my experience, it doesn't take a guy that long to figure out if he wants to date you more seriously.

    No, you did not make a mistake. He wasn't that into you, as others have pointed out. It appears that you already know this as well, based on your other thread about him.

  2. #12
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    Did it end after he ghosted you? You know there is no future with this guy. Why are you doubting yourself?

    You should have ended it at 3 months.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by StrawberryCake
    I did not leave him hoping he would miss me and come back. I am usually very intentional in the things I do, and I left because I was not getting what I wanted. The reason for asking this question is because I started to wonder if I did not give him enough time to decide to be exclusive. Iím not sure how long it takes a guy to know.

    Just 7 months in, by commitment, I mean dating exclusively.

    By intentions I mean, everyone spends time with someone with an intention. It could be to hook up, to be in a relationship etc.

    I prefer to not assume exclusivity and have the discussion and both agree on it. It just clears up any grey areas and in general makes life easier.
    Well as I said in my previous post, if after seven months he couldn't agree to be exclusive, you defintely did the right thing.

    Appreciate the clarification.

    And I agree, best to never assume anything when it comes to relationships.

    Still a bit confused by your "it's been a month and he hasn't fixed it" comment but it doesn't matter at this point.

    Sorry things didn't work out.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 03-06-2019 at 01:45 AM.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why are you leaving all this to him and for him to decide and control? Next time do not continue dating if you are not exclusive after a given point, such as when you have sex or when you have stopped dating others. Have that conversation way before you waste this much time.

    Never sit around and wait for someone to make up their mind about you. Either you're on the same page...or not. If you're not, you end it because you're incompatible. Learn clear and direct communication.

    That means you state that you want to be exclusive (whenever that is the right point for you, such as having sex, staying over, whatever) then if it's not mutual, you walk away. Do not hang around setting precedence with your passive behavior and investing this much in a nebulous setting. Also ask in a clear and precise fashion, such as "only dating /sleeping with each other" and skip antiquated vague terms/questions such as "what are your intentions?".
    Originally Posted by StrawberryCake
    Just 7 months in, by commitment, I mean dating exclusively. I prefer to not assume exclusivity and have the discussion and both agree on it. It just clears up any grey areas and in general makes life easier.

  5.  

  6. #15
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    There are never any guarantees, but if you love each other and trust each other, your relationship has the potential of lasting a lifetime!

    I know many others disagree with my (my bf's and my) approach to our relationship, but it just works so well for us this way.

    ________________________________

    I don't disagree at all. This is exactly how it worked for husband and I. Here in Europe, exclusivity is assumed from the start. We didn't actually ever, at any stage, discuss anything. We just totally went with the flow, both him and I. We moved in together at about 2.5 years. The rest is history. The issue is though, at 7 months..he showed me with every action he took in relation to me that I was 'it' for him. I never had to doubt him.

  7. #16
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    No.

    You have different relationship goals. It will never work. Stay away. If he misses you and concludes it's time for a relationship, he'll contact you. If not, seek new adventure.

  8. 03-07-2019, 12:29 AM

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