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Thread: I have an amazing boyfriend but something still doesn't feel right. Normal?

  1. #31
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    My youngest son hadn't finished college, bounced around in no where jobs while his now wife was finishing her masters. He finally landed on his feet but not until after she surpassed her life's ambition. (they are both in their late 20s) She's a little bit of an overachiever.

    She loved him, considers him her best friend and saw potential in him.
    I am glad she didn't give up on him and now with his career taking off, he has other potential opportunities.

    I don't know if that helps you or not. Just something to think about.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by moonandsun
    Ok well to make this easier, i am attracted to him but it's not only about his looks. Do you all have any comments about the main problem though? Cause its not really about whether I'm attracted to him or not.
    Iím sorry, I thought I did comment.

    Itís not your job to raise a grown man. I realize Ďride or dieí is popular with and almost expected of women now a days but if you donít want to accept who he is, you donít have to. Itís also not fair to either one of you to push him though. Heís either who you want or he isnít

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    No amount of good looks will be able to take away how much a turn off having a lack of ambition and career prospects are to me. I'm sure a lot of women are the same. Looks are the cherry-I mean I have dated many good looking guys and if they lack the brains or the career and ambition, it just doesn't go anywhere.
    Same here - I needed compatibility on that -I could be the main provider if needed, no issue there -but I wouldn't be happy doing that if it was because of his lack of ambition/career prospects.

  4. 03-08-2019, 09:07 PM
    Reason
    Trolling

  5. 03-08-2019, 09:09 PM
    Reason
    Trolling

  6. #34
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You need to accept him as is. Do not push and shove him to be a clone of you. It's controlling, not "loyal, loving and helping people". Helping people is accepting them. Learn to put your ego aside and let him do whatever he sees fit. If that doesn't suit you step back and observe.

    Eventually your chronic rejection (yes, not accepting him is rejecting) will kill things as much as your mothering and fixing. Work on Your career, finances, future etc, leave him alone and treat him like a grown man who can think for himself. Perhaps get therapy for this tendency to be controlling/fixing and want people to be reflections or clones of you.
    This is the best advice. If you love him, be there for him. Don't expect him to change. Love him for who he is. If this isn't ok with you, you don't truly care for him.

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  8. #35

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    This is a common problem in females where they feel the need to control their partner's life. Your boyfriend's success means you look better. This is more about your self image.

  9. #36
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Nickel - caring about someone a relationship does not make, compatibility, love, mutual respect and admiration, if you canít respect your partner thereís something missing and your relationship has an expiration date

    Candy - maybe she wants a partner who is her equal and not someone she has to drag along with her into adulthood.

    Like I mentioned earlier, I think in this post, mysogyny likes to push the narrative of a woman having to be ride or die and stick around wait for a man to commit to get a career to decide sheís worthy. Thankfully most women know their worth.Man woman potatoes tomatoes, if a partner is not on your level goal wise, you have every right to decide they are not for you, without feeling guilty about it. Youíre only Ďwrongí if you stick around attempting to change them into who you think they should be.

  10. 03-13-2019, 04:12 AM
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    Troll

  11. 03-17-2019, 03:37 AM
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    Troll

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