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Thread: Help From Honest People Please

  1. #11
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    Just move out and tell her to get help.

    Beyond that? She really is not your problem. I do not see expression of affection on her part. and as for yourself? Your gift had strings attached. I can see how you needed to test her level of interest in you. But the test failed.

    BTW. if it had been me on that 1 AM train pick up? OMG, I'd have found a safe place to boot her out and done so.

    BTW II, I an sorry she has mental health issues, but you do not have to be trapped as a hostage to them. Move on.
    Last edited by jimthzz; 03-04-2019 at 11:20 AM.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Neither of you know how to communicate properly. Instead of communicating what you need or how you're feeling and why, you sulk. You also likely let things slide for all these years, trying to see if she would make you feel special, and treat you as a priority, waiting and hoping, showing her by example. When that didn't transpire, you stuck around anyway. When a person doesn't offer what you need, ask for what you need if it's a reasonable request, and if they still don't deliver, it means that they don't care, so you walk away.

    On her end, instead of having a mature discussion to resolve issues, she threatens to kick you out or finding a new man or committing suicide. That causes so much bitterness that eats away at the relationship.

    If you don't enter weekly and very longterm, probably a minimum of a year, couples counseling, I recommend ending a relationship that is more frustrating and upsetting than it is satisfying. For your own success at a future relationship, I recommend you read some books on how to effectively communicate with your partner, such as Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    I agree with all. You need to leave before she calls the cops saying you’ve laid a hand on her. Then you could really watch your life go up in flames.

    Leave her, now.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by indea08
    I agree with all. You need to leave before she calls the cops saying you’ve laid a hand on her. Then you could really watch your life go up in flames.

    Leave her, now.
    Absolutely. She's abusive and manipulative. You need to get out before you end up with cops called by someone and it's you being dragged off.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by indea08
    I agree with all. You need to leave before she calls the cops saying you’ve laid a hand on her. Then you could really watch your life go up in flames.

    Leave her, now.
    Yes. She's abusive and I wouldn't surprise if she pulled one like this. You need to leave from this abusive relationship as soon as you can and now that she's at her parents it's a good opportunity to leave the house and find somewhere else to live, even if at your parents' for the time being. Also get ready for emotional blackmail and threats when you leave her. Block and delete her but keep every evidence of threats from her on your phone in case you need it. Also to suicide blackmail, call 911 to her house if she does so but don't get involved and don't fall for that classic manipulation tactic that many abusers use.

  7. #16
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    I think you are right! She does not respect or value you. But, you have also allowed 'Princess' to treat you like a doormat. Why are you driving her to work and picking her up from a night of partying? She is an adult and should be responsible for her own transport.

    She sounds awful! Has she always been so selfish and entitled?

  8. #17
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    When reading your original post I get the impression that you try to "buy" her love by spending money on her. Would you say that is fair/true?

    That said, she has issues and this is a toxic relationship. Do BOTH of you a favour and end it.

  9. 03-05-2019, 05:46 AM

  10. 03-05-2019, 06:21 AM
    Reason
    Refers to deleted post.

  11. #18
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    R, this girl has zero respect for you. It is all one sided. You are making huge efforts for her and she is taking advantage. On top of it, she is making little to no efforts for you.

    She is being emotionally abusive, manipulative, verbally abusive, irresponsible. "Going ape" as you said, is a huge flashing sign of what she is like and who she really is.
    You can't change that and you can't fix that.
    By the sounds of it, she even turns the tables and blames you and threatens you, when it's clearly her who is causing the problems.
    You need to move home, delete and block her number and never look back.

    By the sounds of it, she needs psychological help and the sooner the better. You cannot fix her. She is with her family now, the best you can do is get out of there.
    Let her family take care of her.
    You need to take care of yourself and move. Once you've moved back, stay away from her. You are both toxic to one another and there is no way to fix this.
    Last edited by SherrySher; 03-05-2019 at 08:16 AM.

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