Pocketrocket Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 The question is Do you think you could fall in love or develop feelings for someone else whilst in love with me ? Thoughts? Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 An honest person would say it's possible. People fall in and out of love all the time, with and without a partner. What are you getting at with this question? Link to comment
Pocketrocket Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 Im.not sure actually we were talking about connections forming with the opposite sex and it was asked He said it was unreasonable and thought it was a childish question ..so i.left it at that I guess i wanted to know if i was wasting my time or if im "for now" if that makes sense? Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 Im.not sure actually we were talking about connections forming with the opposite sex and it was asked He said it was unreasonable and thought it was a childish question ..so i.left it at that He said that because he knew it was a loaded question. He knew it would turn into a "catch 22" situation and he's right. People fall in and out of love all the time - with or without a partner. No-one can predict which way our future goes .... unless you're a psychic. I guess i wanted to know if i was wasting my time or if im "for now" Well, if that's how you think then it would apply to every single relationship you ever have. Will you really go through life forever wondering if you're wasting your time with someone? Really? Seems rather odd, no? Link to comment
Clio Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 I guess i wanted to know if i was wasting my time or if im "for now" if that makes sense? That's a different question. How long have you two been together? If it's a new relationship, he likely doesn't know you well enough to answer that yet. Plus, asking one question while meaning something else in your mind is a recipe for miscommunication and misunderstandings. You need to say what you mean and mean what you say. Link to comment
Pocketrocket Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 He said that because he knew it was a loaded question. He knew it would turn into a "catch 22" situation and he's right. People fall in and out of love all the time - with or without a partner. No-one can predict which way our future goes .... unless you're a psychic. Well, if that's how you think then it would apply to every single relationship you ever have. Will you really go through life forever wondering if you're wasting your time with someone? Really? Seems rather odd, no? Yes you're c right I guess after i asked and words are exchanged he said i was in fantasy land because i want true love and grow old with someone.. that got me thinking i guess ? Link to comment
Pocketrocket Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 That's a different question. How long have you two been together? If it's a new relationship, he likely doesn't know you well enough to answer. Plus, asking one question while meaning something else in your mind is a recipe for miscommunication and misunderstandings. You need to say what you mean and mean what you say. Been together 18 months dont live together Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 Why not just have the exclusive talk? You would get better clarification, reassurance or whatever you are seeking with more direct and pertinent discussions. Were you cheated on in the past? Why would you phrase it this way?Been together 18 months dont live together Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 Yes you're c right I guess after i asked and words are exchanged he said i was in fantasy land because i want true love and grow old with someone.. that got me thinking i guess ? What does this have to do with the ability to fall in love with someone else while in a relationship? To be honest, I am not sure what it is you were really wanting to ask him. Link to comment
j.man Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 Sounds needlessly dramatic. If you're 18 months in, you both should know what the other was looking for 18 months ago. From there, things either develop in a way that's compatible to you or they don't, and you vote accordingly with your feet. Your boyfriend treated the question better than I would have. I'd probably just laugh. Link to comment
Annia Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 But why are you asking this and what were you expecting getting out of this question? (I'm seriously asking) Link to comment
Annia Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 Im.not sure actually we were talking about connections forming with the opposite sex and it was asked He said it was unreasonable and thought it was a childish question ..so i.left it at that I guess i wanted to know if i was wasting my time or if im "for now" if that makes sense? This seems more like a passive-aggressive question and based on insecurity rather than actually wanting to know the status of the relationship (which by now qt 18 months it should be known, specially through his actions). This doesn't show good communication skills from your part. Instead of tip-toeing around and making elusive questions around what you really want to know, why not asking directly how he sees your relationship progressing? Do you feel insecure in the relationship? Do you feel you two should be closer by now at 18 months? Is it exclusive and official? What does him falling in love for someone else have to do with the status of your relationship and if it's serious to him or not? Is that something you fear, a past trauma of being left by someone else? Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 Im.not sure actually we were talking about connections forming with the opposite sex and it was asked He said it was unreasonable and thought it was a childish question ..so i.left it at that I guess i wanted to know if i was wasting my time or if im "for now" if that makes sense? Then why didn't you just communicate that to him? Does he not show you in actions that he wants to get to know you? Do his actions not show you that he values you? Your question is something that any smart man would just answer by telling you what you wanted to hear and you'd learn sweet bugger all about what you really want to know. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 I agree with the others that it's unnecessary and foolish to go there. For me personally, I've actually never thought of whether I could fall in love with someone else while married to my husband -because it's not on my radar in the least. I'm committed to him, I chose him, I love him, my life is with him. Have I ever found another man attractive to look at -sure. In fact just today I was remembering how cute I thought Luke Perry was way back when :-(. Do I wonder if he could fall in love with someone else? No. I really don't. Could he? Sure I guess so - he's human, like me. Could he or would he marry if I pass away first? I don't know but I feel that he should if he wanted to - I remember my mother telling me many years ago that if my father passed away first she might remarry because she likes being married (but she was in her 80s when he died and it doesn't look like she wants to remarry at this point). I am quite sure she never told him that and he never asked her -again, why? There's a great CArly Simon song called "I have no secrets" or something like that about a woman who asks her partner about his past lovers. Then is sorry she did. Link to comment
Tinydance Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 Sorry but I think such a question as that is a bit pointless because we just never know what the future may hold. I mean, what answer can a partner give to that because how can they know if they will or won't fall in love with someone else? I mean, yes, it's possible, just like anything in life is possible (well, almost anything). But doesn't mean it would happen. Link to comment
Pocketrocket Posted March 5, 2019 Author Share Posted March 5, 2019 Sorry but I think such a question as that is a bit pointless because we just never know what the future may hold. I mean, what answer can a partner give to that because how can they know if they will or won't fall in love with someone else? I mean, yes, it's possible, just like anything in life is possible (well, almost anything). But doesn't mean it would happen. Yes youre right and i now know i shouldnt have asked :( Link to comment
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