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Thread: Dysfunctional adult, how do I heal

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    If you start with AA meetings, you'll gather a sense that you are not isolated, and you can gain some referrals to a good local counselor and discuss with peers your potential options for a program. Not all AA groups are the same, so give each location the benefit of attending at least 3 meetings before you rule any out. For instance, some are more spiritually focused than others. Some are more casual, some are more structured. You may find inspiration from your peers and you can ask the facilitator for an assignment to a sponsor who can help you work the program.

    Another option is to contact your local hospital and ask for a referral to a case worker who can present you with treatment and recovery options.

    You may want to discuss your plans with your mother to see whether she would allow you to remain in her home during and shortly after any treatment to avoid the financial responsibility of maintaining an apartment during your initial recovery, and while you seek other work.

    It's not likely that working where alcohol is served is a good idea during recovery. You may want to consider applying with temp agencies that can place you with local companies, where you can apply for permanent jobs from within when you find a good cultural fit. It doesn't matter what role(s) you accept as a temp, because you'll form relationships inside of companies. From inside, you'll gain access to apply for jobs that are not published to the public.

    Head high, and write more if it helps.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Not all AA groups are the same, so give each location the benefit of attending at least 3 meetings before you rule any out.
    Yes! Good point. Same with counselling. Find a good fit for you. Don't get discouraged.

    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    It's not likely that working where alcohol is served is a good idea during recovery. You may want to consider applying with temp agencies that can place you with local companies, where you can apply for permanent jobs from within when you find a good cultural fit.
    Originally Posted by somechick99
    I also started stripping as I had issues keeping other jobs and focusing in school due to my addictions. It's now been almost 7 years of stripping and I've spent the majority of my money on plastic surgery which was not a wise idea
    Also, consider what your current job is doing to your self image. The sooner you can transition into a less superficial line of work, the better. The longer you are stripping, the more out of reach a 'normal' job will seem. Many women face this obstacle. It can be very discouraging but it is not insurmountable.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Also, consider what your current job is doing to your self image. The sooner you can transition into a less superficial line of work, the better. The longer you are stripping, the more out of reach a 'normal' job will seem. Many women face this obstacle. It can be very discouraging but it is not insurmountable.
    Good point. This is not about how anyone else in the world views stripping, except for you. This is where self honesty is your friend, because it can break an insidious 'chicken-or-the-egg' cycle of justifying your own view of stripping only to self-medicate away from any private oppositions to your own rationale.

    The cycle may have become a blur between self-medicating to get through stripping, versus staying with stripping because you're rarely sober enough to consider pursuing any other means of earning living.

    Breaking that cycle can move you beyond any need to come up with 'right' answers. Giving yourself permission and the opportunity to operate outside of the cycle can bring you to a new level of perception, where your past will resolve itself through a new lens and expanded vision about what IS possible for you.

    Head high, and we're in your corner.

  4. #14
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    Everyone has given you good advice about joining the meetings for a support network, because you don't need to do this alone! And you're already heading in the right direction in the way you are thinking. I don't have extra advice, I just want to send you encouragement because you're not a dysfunctional person, you just have made mistakes and you've been struggling. You can be the way you want to be. YOU CAN DO IT!

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  6. #15
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    If your mom won't let you stay and with your past, you can search your local social services office (towards women's group). They will give you lots of resources and referrals, a counselor, therapy, housing, transportation, jobs, insurance and rehab. The addiction sounds serious so I'd go to detox/rehab or outpatient before you get into legal trouble. It can get worse been there

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