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Thread: Acne / Acne scar issues

  1. #1

    Acne / Acne scar issues

    This is really hard to ask advice about but here i go.... I have never struggled with skin issues , and at 35 i had a horrible case of cystic acne which had left me with some scarring on my cheek areas . I am completely devastated by this . I have always been attractive and never been too self conscious until now . My husband has treated me completely different since the issue has come up. He doesn’t touch me anymore and fights with me so he can leave me at home . I am stunned and shocked . I was hoping to get some advice . I am going to be doing all i can to get rid of the scars left behind . I feel so depressed because this is something i couldn’t prevent . Thank you so much .

  2. #2
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I doubt very highly that's the reason why your husband makes excuses to leave you at home....maybe your self loathing and insecurity has changed you as a person and the vibrant woman that he knew is gone. That would have dramatic effects on a marriage.
    I suggest seeking out a good dermatologist that also does plastic surgery procedures like chemical peels and laser treatments. Then find yourself some counseling for your mental health.

  3. #3
    Thank you for your reply. I have gone to a dermatologist and been put on spiroaclotone , retina A and clindamycin for the hormonal acne . It has been working thankfully .I do get monthly microdermabrasion, but i won’t do laser treatments . I work for an oral/ facial surgeon, and have seen laser procedures do more harm than good . I guess i reached out because i was having a hard time understanding if it’s normal for a man to be so shallow . Of course i can be insecure dealing with something i have never had an issue with. I was thankful to not get any stretch marks when we had our children due to the fact he said he wouldn’t stay with me if i did get them. I get Botox , lip injections and and so forth at his request. I am however exhausted trying to always be perfect for him. I am human and well acne happens . I have been with this man since high school , and his ways are all i know . Thanks for the advice :)

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    due to the fact he said he wouldn’t stay with me if i did get them
    What a complete jerk!!!! It's normal to get stretch marks during and after pregnancy. A woman's body goes through massive changes in order to bring a baby into this world.
    It's an amazing, miraculous thing.
    For your husband to make such a statement just goes to show what a completely shallow and cold hearted ass that he is!

    Why on earth would you stay with a man like him? How he is acting and the things he had said is very cold hearted and no where near love.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't turn yourself into a freak trying to make a man love you. The treatment you need right now is psychotherapy about your emotional scars, not more and more vanity procedures.

    Read up on body dysmorphic disorder.[Register to see the link]

    Originally Posted by Calismiles89
    I get Botox , lip injections and and so forth at his request. I am however exhausted trying to always be perfect for him.

  7. #6
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Yes , he is indeed shallow. Personally for myself I would divorce him. If he thinks he is going to remain young and perfect for forever that is a joke.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Make sure you tell doctors whatever other doctors/treatments you are seeing/getting. Sounds like you are doing more harm than good with excessively aggressive treatments and unnecessary procedures. None of the things you list are without risks and side effects.
    Originally Posted by Calismiles89
    been put on retina A
    I do get monthly microdermabrasion
    I get Botox , lip injections and and so forth

  9. #8
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    I'm sorry about your acne but can I be blunt with you? I honestly think that your husband is extremely shallow and horrible. I think he's abusive because he has no right to force you to get all those plastic surgery procedures. This is YOUR body and YOUR choice what to do with it. Making you undergo those procedures by threatening that he'd leave you if you don't look to his taste I think is emotional abuse.

    Many women get stretch marks after pregnancy and/or gain a lot of weight. Also it's not your fault you got hormonal acne and you're doing everything you can to fix it. You've been with this man for so long but I don't think he loves you for who you are inside and only cares about your physical appearance. To say he would leave you for getting stretch marks after bearing his kids is just disgusting! Trust me, anyone who thinks that is not a good human being.

    My partner loves me and proposed to me even though I do have a lot of acne scars and still have acne at 34 and I'm also about 16 kg overweight. I do have stretch marks from losing large amounts of weight and putting it on again. My partner is also about 25kg overweight and has acne scars. We don't care about those things about each other because we love each other.

    I honestly think you need to leave your husband because he is treating you like dirt and eroding your self-esteem. And yes that is extremely shallow and not normal, to answer your question.

  10. #9
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    Sorry he sounds more immature than my 18 y/o brother. There are genuine respectful men out there. That wouldn't leave you at the curb for a tiny mark on your body, that breaks my heart. It's hard enough coping with society's standards plus an abusive husband's unrealistic expectations. I will never judge you. I just want you to be happy

  11. #10

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    I am so sorry you have to go through this and also the abuse as well. I call it abuse because I believe what your husband is doing to you is emotional abuse. You should not have to feel you have to be some perfect "Barbie Doll" for him. You are a human being and made beautifully both inside and out. I am only 18, but I am aware I am definitely not going to look the same as I age. I certainly don't want a man who expects me to be perfect without flaws my whole life. I can't even imagine how you have dealt with that type of emotional abuse during your marriage. He should love you for who you are. Do what you want to satisfy you with your acne scars and if it is not good enough for him than he is not good enough you. I am so sorry for being so harsh, but you should not be treated that way, but you are made beautifully no matter what.


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