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My girlfriend has been at a frat with her friends till the morning


Twoodley

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Hey guys, hopefully someone’s out there who can help with my problem. Me and my girlfriend have been on and off since junior year of high school. We dated for a year in high school until I broke things off. She didn’t take it to well. We ended getting back together after a few months later after she was relentless in getting back together and that ultimately made me realize how much I love her. We started college and she joined a sorority. She started going to frat parties and stuff but I was ok with it. She rarely even went to parties because she only wanted to be with me and spend time with me.

 

FAST FORWARD

The past week she’s been depressed cause of how much school work she’s had and how she failed a class last semester. That caused her to be distant from me for a few days. But that didn’t stop her from going to frat parties and stuff. The past 4 nights she’s been at a frat house with her friends cause theyre friends with the guys at a certain house. This causes me to only think she’s seeing someone else. It wasn’t till yesterday after constant neglect and avoiding where she told me she wanted a break. I agree after I told her If a break is what she needs to be happy then I’m willing to, cause I only care about her well being. I’m currently not taking the break too good and it’s causing me to stay up late night and can’t do hw. And right now she’s at a frat house still and it’s 5am... but at the same time I want to trust her cause this a girl who values honesty above all and she told me she wasn’t planning on hooking up with anyone during this break.

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I’m sorry OP, but I think you need to brace yourself for a breakup.

 

Why are they even staying at this frat house for days on end? Are you sure her sorority sisters are even with her? That doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. The timing of the break is quite coincidental, considering where she’s been staying recently. It doesn’t look good.

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We don’t go to the same college, I’m in a community to save money and she’s in a university but they’re both in the same city. We have each other on Find My Friends and I woke up at 4am with a lot of stuff on my mind only to check she’s still there. I would say I’m not enjoying my experience just cause I’ve been spending my time with her and not making an effort to meet new people.

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I guess I’m taking it so hard cause it just sucks to see someone you’ve bonded with for years go to waste. It’s just causing me a lot of overthinking and anxiety if she’s actually cheating. But at the same time one of the things she’s vowed to never do is cheat on someone since she’s been cheated on before.

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Me and my girlfriend have been on and off since junior year of high school.

 

If there was ever a sign that a relationship is not meant to last it is one that is descibed as being 'On and Off.'

 

So, as others have said, brace yourself, as the end is likely nigh for this to be finally over. And, while this may seem like a bad thing now, after some time and on meeting someone new in a relationship that is stable, you will understand why.

But, I know you want to hold out for this to sort itself out, but usually a break is the first steps in a break-up. She is already hanging with other guys on a regular basis, and it woud seem, the same other guys.

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I guess I’m taking it so hard cause it just sucks to see someone you’ve bonded with for years go to waste. It’s just causing me a lot of overthinking and anxiety if she’s actually cheating. But at the same time one of the things she’s vowed to never do is cheat on someone since she’s been cheated on before.

 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if she's staying at frat houses for days on end, she's likely cheating on you. In my freshman year of college, I knew a group of girls that would stay until the end of frat parties just to give head to the president of the fraternity. Gross and probably a pang to your heart to hear, I know, but it's likely time to mentally divorce yourself from this relationship. You deserve better.

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Yeah I’m just afraid of letting go because she’s the only girl I’ve ever committed to. Not to boost my ego, but I got around girls pretty good but she’s the one that convinced myself to commit. And just the thought of some other guy banging my girlfriend makes me go crazy. I think it’s cause I also see hope because wouldn’t she have just broke up with me If doesn’t feel the same anymore. She may seem like a bad person the way I’m describing the scenario but she actually cares and would tell me the truth above all cause she tells me she doesn’t want me hurt like how I hurt her when I broke up with her before.

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That’s the thing too, i know my self worth and I know I deserve better but I just don’t know how to cope with it. It’s to the point where I’ve been up the past 4 nights till 3-5am and not leaving my house or only eating a small snack the entire day.

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If there was ever a sign that a relationship is not meant to last it is one that is descibed as being 'On and Off.'

 

So, as others have said, brace yourself, as the end is likely nigh for this to be finally over. And, while this may seem like a bad thing now, after some time and on meeting someone new in a relationship that is stable, you will understand why.

But, I know you want to hold out for this to sort itself out, but usually a break is the first steps in a break-up. She is already hanging with other guys on a regular basis, and it woud seem, the same other guys.

 

Yeah I’m just afraid of letting go because she’s the only girl I’ve ever committed to. Not to boost my ego, but I got around girls pretty good but she’s the one that convinced myself to commit. And just the thought of some other guy banging my girlfriend makes me go crazy. I think it’s cause I also see hope because wouldn’t she have just broke up with me If doesn’t feel the same anymore. She may seem like a bad person the way I’m describing the scenario but she actually cares and would tell me the truth above all cause she tells me she doesn’t want me hurt like how I hurt her when I broke up with her before.

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I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if she's staying at frat houses for days on end, she's likely cheating on you. In my freshman year of college, I knew a group of girls that would stay until the end of frat parties just to give head to the president of the fraternity. Gross and probably a pang to your heart to hear, I know, but it's likely time to mentally divorce yourself from this relationship. You deserve better.

 

That’s the thing too, i know my self worth and I know I deserve better but I just don’t know how to cope with it. It’s to the point where I’ve been up the past 4 nights till 3-5am and not leaving my house or only eating a small snack the entire day.

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The sad thing is that the longer you allow yourself to be caught up in this, the more painful the memories will be of the Twoodley of 20 years from now who will look back at his college days, the last real time of pure opportunity for fun, experimentation and freedom before life responsibilities starting whittling that all away, and that older Twoodley will say "I wasted all of my time worrrying about who??"

 

She's living her college life, start learning to live yours as an individual instead of caught up in worry at home like a puppy. It's best of you discontinue contact with her to help you along. If you don't, you will have a lot of regret later on for having wasted your time.

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Time to let go of high school. College is truly the best time of your life and it's "me time". It's time to make new friends, explore life, grow, change, date around and see what you do and don't like, party, just experience everything socially and even academically. What you think you want to do today is liable to change a year from now. Who you are today is also liable to change a lot over the next four years. Embrace it because you will never have this kind of freedom again.

 

As already said, don't be sitting around home while this girl is actually off doing exactly what she needs to do - living her life. Cut the cord while you two still respect each other and move on. Learning how to let go is actually one of the more important lessons in life.

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On again, off again relationships means it's not the right relationship for you. People who truly care will never dump their partner. They stay and work out the problems together.

 

There's no getting past the hurt. Think of it as the first stage of mourning. Each day with no contact will get easier and easier if you treat yourself well. Enjoy some good meals, time with friends, and working on your education goals. That's the stage where you can begin to heal. One day when you meet a woman who is right for you, you will know why the ex is your ex. Listen to the song "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks. It might make you feel better.

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Sorry you are going through this. It does sound like she wants to spread her wings, be free and enjoy university life. It's a natural thing to do. You need to stop tracking her on that app. It's unsafe for her to even have a tracking app like that. What you know is she won't cheat (again) so instead she's breaking up. Focus on your college life and try to get more involved.

We have each other on Find My Friends and I woke up at 4am with a lot of stuff on my mind only to check she’s still there.
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Duude, I feel bad for you. "Breaks" are in my opinion the stupidest thing ever. It's neither here nor there.

 

Honestly, I think it's time to move on, you are too young to play these kind of games. If you go away now, it will sting for a few months, if you stay it will be a pain for a couple of months and by the looks of it, you will break up at some point and then again you have to go through this.

 

Go out there, there are good and loyal girls everywhere.

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If there was ever a sign that a relationship is not meant to last it is one that is descibed as being 'On and Off.'

 

So, as others have said, brace yourself, as the end is likely nigh for this to be finally over. And, while this may seem like a bad thing now, after some time and on meeting someone new in a relationship that is stable, you will understand why.

But, I know you want to hold out for this to sort itself out, but usually a break is the first steps in a break-up. She is already hanging with other guys on a regular basis, and it woud seem, the same other guys.

 

I agree.

 

You guys are going your separate ways as you age. You have changed.

 

Time to make a clean break.

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I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if she's staying at frat houses for days on end, she's likely cheating on you. In my freshman year of college, I knew a group of girls that would stay until the end of frat parties just to give head to the president of the fraternity. Gross and probably a pang to your heart to hear, I know, but it's likely time to mentally divorce yourself from this relationship. You deserve better.

 

Good god......

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To everyone that has replied, thank you. I realize I shouldn't let a girl this early in my life affect me this much. It's going to be hard at first, but that's just being human. Once again, Thank you!

 

Just remember we will be here in the days to come. We can help to ease the pain a little, after all, that's how most of us came to be here in the first place.

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Here's the thing... If she's asked for a break then what she does and who she does it with while on the break are nine of your business... Nor is it cheating since a break means you aren't officially together. As Ross once said: we were on a break.

 

Most breaks lead to break ups. You should end it now.

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