Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: How to fix this

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    279

    How to fix this

    Got into a verbal fight with a very close friend - both definitely overreacted, and things were said. I thought we got past it that night, but I've been texting/calling only to be ignored.

    I left a vm apologizing couple days ago, but still nothing. Haven't reached out since then.

    We're both above 30yo, two men (boys? Lol).

    He said some things about me which bothered him, and I kept to myself some of his flaws which I overlook. So this part is my ego - like, "hey you criticized me on this but you've got some issues of your own."

    I was posting for advice on how to resolve conflict with friends, but I've tried and I guess he's just not open to it. If he doesn't respond at all.. friendship over? Basically like brothers.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    9,387
    Gender
    Female
    Since you've apologized, that's all you can do. Up to him if he will cool off and decide to resume the friendship or not. Nothing you can really do at this point to change the situation. Unfortunately, sometimes things happen and people will end the friendship and that's that.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,024
    There is nothing to do but let him cool off OP... some people need time to process their feelings before practicing forgiveness.

    At the end of the day, one of the things I admire most about male relationships is that when they fight, things generally cool off pretty quickly after blowing off steam. Mind you it's usually after punching each other out or challenging each other to a wrestling match but still

  4. #4
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    843
    Gender
    Female
    I think it's strange that you said the fight was resolved that night, but then he went silent. You shouldn't have kept apologizing if both of you were at fault, and I presume, both exchanged apologies the night of the fight. It makes you look like you were solely in the wrong, which means he gets to believe that he was somehow victimized by you.

    He may have decided after the fact that he no longer wants to associate with you, or maybe he just needs time to cool down. Who knows? Either way, I would stop trying to contact him for at least a few weeks, and stop acting like the aggressor in the situation if you were not the only one throwing hurtful words around.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    279
    Yeah I guess you guys are right. Sad thing is we've gotten in fights before, mostly resolved but twice he's just disappeared for like a year.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    18,757
    What was said? Why were you upset with him?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    31,591
    Gender
    Male
    You reach out, you apologized, just let him process/cool off. He'll come around.
    Originally Posted by firstluvstruck
    I left a vm apologizing couple days ago, but still nothing. Haven't reached out since then.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    12,673
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by firstluvstruck
    Yeah I guess you guys are right. Sad thing is we've gotten in fights before, mostly resolved but twice he's just disappeared for like a year.
    Why are two adult men fighting? Let him disappear forever... it appears you don't mesh as well as you think you do. I've only had one fight with my best friend in 20 years and we resolved it that night and neither of us needed to disappear out of one another's lives for more than a few days. Maybe you just see each other too much and you're getting on one another's nerves. (???)

    I'd let him disappear if I were you. A true friend wouldn't ghost you like that.

  10. #9
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    279
    Good question haha.

    And yeah i think we may just see each other too much and have been doing the same activity, ie not changing up the context of our hangouts

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    18,757
    You didn't yell us why?

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •